


Dust to Dust

by WritingIsMyAddiction



Category: Rookie Blue
Genre: F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-31
Updated: 2015-02-15
Packaged: 2018-01-27 18:06:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 70,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1718579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WritingIsMyAddiction/pseuds/WritingIsMyAddiction
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Amidst the chaos and danger of hunting down a serial killer who has been littering the streets of Toronto with bodies, Gail and Holly attempt to explore their changing relationship and see where it might lead them. It's up to them and the rest of 15th Division to bring the killer to justice and hopefully keep their relationships intact by the end of it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Rookie Blue, the characters, or anything like that.**

**Author's Note: So this story takes place a few weeks after the shooting. I started writing this before season five premiered so it doesn't follow that canon at all. Though I might borrow bits and pieces of it if it helps move the story along. I know there are a lot of "morning after" and "what happens next fic's out there. But I just had to add mine into the mix. The way that I've outlined the story is that every chapter is basically acting as if it were an episode. Hence why they're so long. The story is mostly Gail/Holly centric but does have a lot of the other members of 15th to. Hope you enjoy.**

Chapter One

Gail knew she was in trouble when she and her friends had gone to the Penny, it was a Friday night and they all had miraculously managed to get the weekend off. And all she could do was look around and wish that Holly was there. It wasn't that she didn't want to spend the time with her friends. After everything that happened they needed a bit of normalcy in their lives. And nothing was more traditional then spending a few hours after shift at the Penny and drinking to the fact that they had survived another day. Paired with that the good news that Chloe was going to be released from the hospital in a few days and Sam was making a remarkable recovery. She should have been having a better time than she was. But it didn't feel right, it felt incomplete and Gail was sure that Holly's absence had something to do with it.

It wasn't like Gail hadn't tried to get Holly to come. In fact Gail had pulled out every persuasive technique she'd learned to try and get Holly to abandon her research for the night and come join them. But Holly had told Gail that she should spend this time with her friends, that it was special for them to get this time and Gail should make an effort to give them the attention they deserved. Gail had of course, in true Gail Peck style, rolled her eyes and told Holly that her friends weren't going to care. To which Holly only smiled and returned to work.

_**Gail 9:13pm: Come to the Penny.** _

Gail hit send and slid her phone back into her pocket. She'd been casually listening to the conversations going on around her. Dov was talking to Chris about all of the modifications he wanted to do on their apartment when Chloe got home from the hospital. Gail suspected she should be listening more intently to what Dov was saying but she didn't care enough. If they needed to accommodate any need Chloe had, they would, even if it was inconvenient. Andy and Traci were talking about something to do with Leo's school.

_**Holly 9:15pm: No.** _

Gail glared into her phone as if the ire she felt, and the frustration at being denied something she wanted might somehow reach Holly wherever she might be. Gail didn't know why she was so bothered that she wasn't going to be able to see Holly. She didn't know why she missed Holly so much. But she did, and it was driving her insane. Gail Peck didn't miss people, she didn't wish they were around all the time because that would imply that she needed them. And Gail didn't need anyone.

_**Gail 9:16pm: Please?** _

"Careful Gail, glare any harder and that phone might just go up in flames." Traci teased looking at her friend and seeing the staring contest that Gail was having with her phone.

"What is up with you anyway? You've been lost in your phone all night. You've only had one drink." Andy asked bravely. Things between the two of them had calmed down since Sam had been shot. When Gail realized that the grudge that she was holding against Andy, while no less justified, was pointless in the long run. Things weren't all forgiven or forgotten but Gail was working on it. They'd made it far enough that Gail's immediate response hadn't been to bite Andy's head off with a harsh comment.

"She's upset because she hasn't been able to see Holly today." Chris chimed in. Gail's gaze darted towards Chris angry that he'd said the words out loud, opening her up to be ridiculed by her friends, and also because he was right.

"Shut up." Gail bit back but it was pointless, her tone didn't have the same biting nature that would normally have actually shut Chris up. And Chris only smiled brighter. Of all of them he had seen the effect that Holly had on Gail. He saw it that day in the hospital when Holly had come to see Gail in the waiting room. The way that Gail was around Holly was different than it had been when the two of them had been in a relationship.

"Why didn't you invite her?" Traci asked.

"I did. She said that I should spent the time with you guys." Gail replied. There was no point in hiding it. Her friends knew her well enough to know that Holly was important to her. And Gail didn't even want to lie and pretend that Holly wasn't.

"So you two have gotten close then huh?" Traci hadn't had the time to ask Gail about her newfound friendship with Holly.

"Gail spends all of her time over at Holly's now. We barely see her." Chris answered before Gail had a chance.

"She's significantly less annoying than the both of you."

"And now you're bothered because you won't see her tonight?" There was a knowing look in Andy's eyes that annoyed Gail. Knowing that Andy knew how she was feeling towards Holly made her feel weak and vulnerable.

"I'm not bothered." Gail protested.

"It's okay if you are. I remember when I first started dating Sam, I wanted to see him all the time. We must have racked up at least a thousand text messages a week." Andy rambled. The table fell silent, no one had voiced what they all had assumed that Gail and Holly were in fact a couple. They were all too afraid to ask. But Andy had barreled through without even realizing it. The table fell silent as everyone looked between Andy and Gail. Waiting for the typical Gail Peck lashing out. Even Andy seemed to brace herself for it.

"I don't know if we're dating." Gail replied instead shocking everyone. Gail Peck was opening up to them? About her feelings? Dov seemed to recover first.

"Have you guys talked about it?" He asked.

"Not really. I mean, things have been going so great as they are why should we mess them up by throwing around labels and stuff?" Looking around the table Gail legitimately wanted advice. She needed them to tell her what to do because she was shit at relationships and she at least could admit that to herself.

"But wouldn't it be nice to know?" Andy asked leaning forward focusing her attention on this conversation. She felt in some way that she owed it to Gail to help her figure this out. Since she had been directly responsible for the breakdown of Gail's last relationship.

"You guys aren't the least bit surprised that I'm suddenly contemplating dating a woman?" Gail asked confused. She'd expected that they would be surprised, upset, and angry, in disbelief, some sort of reaction other than what she was getting.

"Gail, you're allowed to have feelings for whoever you have feelings for. And Holly's great. She brings out a side to you that we all knew was in there but hadn't ever seen." Chris offered.

"Yeah, I need to talk to her about that. She's making me all nice and stuff." Gail grimaced at the thought. It was true, things that had annoyed her before she just found herself overlooking. She hadn't been a bitch to anyone lately. Standoffish and a bit socially awkward, but that was Gail, she didn't go out of her way to be mean to anyone.

"Oh please don't. We loved the old Gail, but we also really love this Gail."

Gail looked down at her phone, she really wanted to see Holly. Like she had never wanted to see anyone before. But it made her feel needy. She'd been occupying all of Holly's time lately. Always over at her apartment, always texting her, always calling her, Holly had been talking about a paper she'd needed to finish but Gail had always been there to distract her. Holly never said anything but Gail was starting to feel bad.

"I just miss her."

"That's sweet."

"Shut it McNally."

"Sorry."

"It's not sweet. It's sad, it's only been a day. It's not sweet. It's annoying and distracting and-."

"The greatest feeling ever?"

"Yeah if feeling queasy and kinda like you're going to pass out whenever you're around the person. Sure." Gail said rolling her eyes. She wasn't fooling any of them but she still had to try. She had an image she was fiercely protective of and she wasn't quite ready to let that go yet.

"Aw so Gail Peck does have a heart buried under that layer of ice." If there was anyone at the table that could get away with making a joke like that it was Traci. Traci who had first started to see the crack in the otherwise impenetrable Peck armor.

"Ugh I'm going to need another drink." Gail said finishing off her current drink in one gulp. As if on cue one of the waitresses arrived with a tray of drinks.

"Uh we didn't order those." Andy said as a drink was passed to her.

"Bartender got a call from Holly. She said to send you a round of whatever you had just had. And an extra shot for Peck." The waitress said with a smile. Gail pulled out her phone and saw that she had a new text from Holly.

_**Holly 10:23pm: Enjoy your night Gail.** _

"Okay, so Holly can definitely stay."

* * *

Gail was pretty sure this was as pathetic as she had ever gotten. Even when she was in the dog house with whoever she was dating at the time she never got up two hours before she needed to, went to get coffee for someone, and then waited for them to show up at their office. Holly was due to arrive at work any minute and Gail was practically buzzing with excitement to see the brunette. It had been a weekend and Gail felt like she was being punished, denied her newest favorite thing for some crime she didn't remember committing. At first she'd tried to be nonchalant about it. But come Sunday, there was no hope for Gail.

When she saw Holly rounding the corner, lost in whatever her phone said it took a minute for Holly to realize that there was someone standing in front of her office.

"Gail?" Holly asked obviously confused as to why Gail was standing outside her office. She would have remembered if Gail had mentioned that she was going to stop by.

"I brought you coffee." Gail announced awkwardly holding the cup out to the brunette. Holly took the offered cup a slow smile forming on her face. Holly had missed Gail like crazy over the past few days. It had been too easy to fall into a habit of seeing Gail every day, talking to her every day, and it was becoming extremely difficult not to fall for Gail having her around so much. Holly had needed the distance as much as she was sure Gail needed it to.

"Thank you." Holly unlocked her office and pushed open the door knowing that Gail would follow her even if she didn't verbally invite the blonde in.

"I've never been to your office before. I had to look up where it was." Gail said looking around. It was as Gail expected it would be, neat and spacious, everything in its proper place. On one side of the room was a large desk with a computer on it. There were bookshelves lining one wall except for where the window looked out into a courtyard of some sort.

"Sorry, I don't spend a whole lot of time here. I'm usually in the lab." Holly replied dumping her stuff at her desk and then moving to lean against the front of the desk, watching Gail look around. Holly liked that about Gail, Gail always needed to inspect everything and take in every detail. Gail had done the same thing at her apartment. Each and every room she had gone in and looked around.

"It kinda suits you. A little colder than I'd expect but still." Gail said.

"Colder?"

"Not as decorated as I'd expect. Your apartment has this warmth to it, even the lab seems more your space."

"Ah. So, what're you doing here Gail?" Holly asked. Gail turned to look at Holly shifting uncomfortably from foot to foot.

"I missed you." Gail offered so softly it was almost a whisper. Holly's heart melted at that and she felt her stomach flip at the simple admission.

"I missed you too."

"We can't do that again."

"What?"

"Go that long without seeing each other. I didn't like it." Holly couldn't fight the laugh that bubbled up at how much Gail reminded her of a little kid not getting her way. It was adorable.

"It was a weekend Gail." Holly said reasonably.

"You said you missed me too." Gail pouted. Actually, honest to God pouted, and not because she knew that it was going to get her something she wanted. But because the thought that Holly hadn't missed her as much as Gail had been going crazy without Holly made Gail hurt inside.

"I did." Holly reassured quickly. Gail visibly relaxed, a bit of the more familiar overconfident Gail returning.

"How much?" Gail asked inching forward. Holly's mouth went dry as she saw the glint in Gail's blue eyes that told her she would be in a lot of trouble if she let Gail get any closer.

"Gail…" Holly warned. She wasn't worried anyone would come into her office, not without knocking first anyway. But that was besides the point. This, whatever it was had already gone too far and Holly needed to put a stop to it before either of them got hurt.

"How much did you miss me Holly? It's a simple question. A lot? Not much? A passing thought about how I might be fairing? Come on Holly, tell me how much you missed me." Gail continued her voice dropping several octaves to an almost purr. Holly knew she would be in for a world of trouble if Gail ever found out what that voice did to her.

Gail came to stand in front of Holly effectively pinning the brunette against her desk. Framing Holly's body with her arms Gail pressed her palms against the cool glass of Holly's desk top.

"I'll tell you how much I missed you. I couldn't stop thinking about you. It was driving me crazy. I wanted you. I even had a dream about you." Smiling softly Holly turned her head feeling Gail's nose brushing against her cheek. Gail's warm breath on her skin was driving Holly crazy and her resolve was fading quickly.

"A dream huh?"

"Holly I want you to kiss me." Gail whispered against the shell of Holly's ear, her hand running up the length of Holly's arm until it was cradling the side of Holly's neck. Gail could feel how tense Holly was. How hard she was fighting the temptation.

"I missed you a lot." Holly answered finally.

"Good." Both of them felt the intensity of the spark that happened between them. Gail was sure she felt it in her toes as she shifted closer to Holly, needing to be as close as possible. She needed it more than she needed air, more than she could ever remember needing anything. To feel the warmth of Holly's body pressed tightly against her own made her feel alive.

"But I'm not going to kiss you in here." Holly said. The effect was like pouring ice cold water on them and Gail stepped away, expression changed from seductive and charming to incredulous and pissed.

"Why not?" Gail demanded her head spinning. How could Holly not kiss her? Not after feeling what had just passed between them. Holly reached out and took Gail's hand in hers, linking their fingers despite Gail's weak attempt at fighting her.

"Because we're in my office before I start work and before you start your shift. We haven't talked about what is going on between us, I'm all for playing it by ear and seeing where things go. But if I'm going to make out in my office with someone I want to know that it's at least going somewhere." Holly tried to choose her words in a way that wouldn't send Gail running. But she was being honest and she needed Gail to understand that she may be a patient person but she had her limits. Holly watched as Gail processed her words and the pissed off look fell away into at least some form of understanding.

"Okay, we can talk about whatever this is between us." Gail said crossing her arms. Holly thought she looked a bit like she was going into an interrogation. Her body language was both defensive and also meant to intimidate.

"Gail I like you, a lot. I feel something happening between us that is more than friendship. But you've been through a lot these last few weeks and I know that it isn't fair to expect anything from you. And I don't."

"But you can. Holly I want this. Whatever this is I can't…it's like I've seen and felt what it could be like to have this and now not having it would kill me. You are the most amazing person I've ever met. You make me feel these wonderful things that I used to consider weakness. I woke up this morning determined to see you because the thought of not seeing you today made me sad. Do you get how strange that is for me? You have this power over me Holly, I can't do what I do with other people and keep you at arms length because with you I don't want to keep you away I just want to pull you closer." Gail felt a bit nauseous confessing all of this to Holly. Like she was revealing her heart and giving Holly every chance to crush it and hoping that she wouldn't.

For several minutes Holly was stunned into silence. She didn't know what to say to that. No one had ever said anything like this to her before. Her heart soared at the prospect of being with Gail. Having imagined that whatever they could be together would be amazing. But her mind screamed at her to be careful. Gail was exactly the type of woman that could lead her into heart break. She could get her heart shattered when Gail decided that she was done experimenting with women. When the crisis was over.

"You could totally wreck me you know." Gail continued. She hated the silence that filled the office around them. Things with Holly had never been tense before. Even their silences had been comfortable. Except for this one, when she was waiting desperately to hear something form Holly. Anything.

"Let's just agree to try not to wreck each other okay?" Holly said finally, her voice sounding less confident than she wanted it but Gail smiled.

"One day at a time?"

"One day at a time."

"But I am seeing you tonight." Gail insisted. Holly laughed, the tension between them broken and the easiness was slowly washing back in. Gail was back to being her usual self, demanding and infuriatingly seductive in her bravado.

"As if I had a choice."

"I have to go, get changed and ready for work." Gail said reluctantly looking at the clock on Holly's wall announcing she now had half an hour to get ready for parade.

"Be careful."

"I will. I have a date tonight I better not get hurt." Gail gave Holly's hand a squeeze before leaving the office. Holly stood watching the door Gail had just gone through playing the conversation she'd just had over and over. She and Gail were going on a date. Gail wanted this. What had she just gotten herself into?

* * *

 

Gail sat next to Andy in parade, listening to Best drone on about what they needed to be focused on. The streets had been eerily quiet since the shooting. Traffic stops and tickets for jay walking seemed to be in their future but Gail didn't mind. A slow day gave her more time to allow her mind to wander towards a certain forensic pathologist.

"Peck it looks like you're with me today." Oliver said coming up behind Gail and throwing his arm around her shoulder.

"Best news I've had all day." Gail said dramatically.

"Oh you're hilarious Peck. I'll meet you at the car in 20." Gail watched him go with a fondness she didn't show everyone. Oliver was definitely one of her favorites to ride with. He was her mentor, a strange surrogate father in some ways.

"Hey, you look happy this morning. Did you see Holly?" Traci asked as Gail joined her at her desk. Gail couldn't help the smile that burst across her face answering Traci's question.

"We're going out tonight." Gail said. Traci beamed with excitement for her friend. Gail deserved this.

"Where to?"

"I don't know. As long as it's not the batting cages again I'm good with anything." Gail mused.

"Whoa batting cages? She got you to do sports? Holly must be a miracle worker." Traci teased receiving a playful shove in return.

"It was horrible. I was so humiliated. But to make me feel better she bought me dinner and beer. And told me that she liked me regardless of my athletic ability."

"Next time we all go to the Penny are you going to bring her? I need to meet this woman."

"I'll ask her. I have to go meet Oliver. I'll talk to you later."

"I need the details Gail. All of them!" Traci insisted as Gail left.

* * *

 

"I thought she was straight." Holly had needed someone to talk to about what was going on with Gail so on her lunch break she had called the only person she could think of. Sitting across from her at a small table was her brother Thomas. Unlike Holly's more casual style of jeans and a button down blouse Thomas fancied a nice three piece suit. He liked to exude charm and sophistication when he was in the court room.

"Technically I said that I didn't know for sure." Holly replied drinking her coffee.

"Okay, but you've done this dance before and I remember not liking the aftermath so much." Thomas was protective of Holly. Mostly because he knew how big Holly's heart was and how people liked to take advantage of that. He'd watched as girls had taken Holly's heart and smashed it into billions of pieces and he saw each time how Holly picked up those pieces but never lost hope that there was someone out there for her.

"Gail's different. Complicated is an understatement but she just makes me feel so incredible I just couldn't not give this a shot. We're keeping it low key, we're taking it one day at a time." Holly explained. They were only minutes apart in age but Thomas took the role of older brother very seriously. Plus it didn't hurt that as a lawyer he knew all of the different legal loopholes that could help him get away with murder. Though he'd only threatened someone once.

"Just be careful Hol."

"I will."

"What do your med school friends think about this?"

"I haven't told them. You know how they are, they'd never understand. I want to figure out what Gail and I are before we bring other people into it. You're just lucky that I like to share all the sordid details of my life with you." Holly said playfully.

"Anytime baby sis."

"By five minutes!" Holly exclaimed laughing while they went back to their lunch.

* * *

 

"What are you and Holly doing for your date?" Andy asked conversationally as they changed out of their uniforms and into their street clothes. Gail shrugged, they hadn't talked about what they were going to do. Realistically for their first official date it should be something flashy and nice, a date meant to impress. It was what Gail expected when guys took her out on a date. But Holly was different. They didn't need all that.

"I'm not sure. I think we can figure it out." Gail replied checking her appearance. She looked nice, casual but like she had put effort into what she was wearing. With what she was wearing they could pretty much go anywhere.

"Are you nervous?"

"Of course not." Gail was lying through her teeth. She was nervous, an official date with Holly. But she wasn't going to admit that to anyone, especially McNally.

Grabbing her bag Gail left the locker room not making eye contact with anyone not wanting to be stopped by anyone. Holly had texted Gail, telling her that she would meet her outside the station. Shouldering her bag Gail walked out of the station and found Holly waiting for her, leaning against her car with a warm smile on her face.

"Evening officer." Holly greeted.

"Hey." Gail stopped in front of Holly. Wanting to reach out and wrap her arms around Holly but not sure if she could or should. Gail wasn't used to being the nervous ones on dates. She always took charge. She always made men feel nervous.

"So, where are we going?" Holly asked casually. Her calm had a way of leeching into Gail and calming her.

"No idea. Where does one take a girl on a date?" Gail asked. Holly found herself oddly charmed by the question. Gail wanted to impress her and didn't know how. That was a huge step for Gail.

"Gail relax. I would be happy just spending time with you. I figure after shift you're probably hungry because you're always hungry so we could go get something to eat. Or we could go get a drink. Or we don't have to do anything. There isn't a guide book. Let's just be us." Holly said reaching out and grabbing Gail's hands linking their fingers and tugging Gail closer but keeping a respectable enough distance so any of Gail's coworkers wouldn't think anything was up. "Let's go to the Penny and get some drinks."

"No." Gail said.

"No?"

"No, I don't want my friends to crash our first official date. So, why don't we go to this Italian place on Queen?"

"Okay."

Dinner went by with pleasant conversation about the general boredom of their days. One thing that Gail was learning to appreciate about Holly was the way that she could explain everything she did, all the medical jargon that would normally have made no sense to Gail, in a way Gail could understand. And she didn't make her feel stupid because of it.

"Can I tell you something?" Gail asked as they sat parked in Holly's car outside Gail's apartment.

"Anything."

"I'm a mess when it comes to relationships. My ex told me that I wasn't girlfriend material and I hated him for it. I wanted to be offended but he was right. I don't know how to be a girlfriend because I don't know how to let people in. I run hot and cold. And I can't promise that I won't do that with you sometimes. You saw a glimpse of it already, when I kissed you and then a few hours later pretended that it didn't happen. It's just something that I do and I don't know how to stop and-."

"You don't need to explain who you are to me Gail." Holly interrupted. She hated that Gail was so self-depreciating. Gail seemed to be the only one that couldn't see how remarkable she was. "Sometimes I wish you could see you the way that I do. Because then you would see the woman who has a big heart, who cares so deeply for everyone in her life she'd do anything for them. Sure you're snarky, you can be a bitch, but when it comes down to it when everything falls apart you're there to hold them together. And that, that woman is the woman that I know and the one that I am falling for."

"You really see that?" Gail whispered, she felt tears stinging her eyes and she blinked hard trying to keep from letting them fall.

"I know who you are Gail. I think that I'm for the challenge."

"God, how are you so perfect?" It sounded like an accusation but Holly knew that Gail meant it as a compliment. Gail sounded truly awed just by how Holly was and the sound of it made Holly blush.

"I'm not."

"You sure about that?"

"Pretty sure. We all have our flaws Gail, the trick is finding someone who's flaws compliment ours."

"Will you come inside?"

"Slow remember?" Holly said seeing Gail pout at the reminder. Laughing softly wondering if Gail knew how tempted she really was to take her up on that offer. Holly wasn't a saint.

"How much slower are we going to take this? You haven't even kissed me yet. Not since that night. You realize that's not exactly how I operate right?" Gail demanded. She couldn't think of anything else, she wanted to feel Holly's lips against hers again. She wanted to remember the way that her head seemed to spin in the most delightful way when Holly kissed her.

"Patience is a virtue Gail."

"Definitely not one of mine."

"Kay, get out." Holly instructed. Gail stared incredulously for a minute before opening the door. For a second Gail felt her defensiveness flare, her anger spike. Was Holly really kicking her out of the car? What had she done? Had she offended Holly? Her nerves cooled a bit when she heard Holly's door open too and watched Holly circle around the car to come and stand next to Gail.

Gail had a million different one liners at the ready, teasing barbs that were sure to get at least a smirk out of Holly. But all of them flew out the window when Holly reached up to cradle the sides of Gail's neck, blunt fingernails scratching at the back of Gail's neck. Looking into Holly's eyes, seeing the intensity in them and knowing that Holly could see right through her. Down into her soul even. And for the first time it didn't make Gail want to run.

The first brush of Holly's lips against hers made Gail gasp. Her hands tentatively finding a home on the curve of Holly's hips clutching around the fabric of Holly's shirt. Different than their first kiss, this kiss was slow and exploratory, tentative and sweet. Gail had only the briefest taste of Holly's lips when Holly pulled away. One taste and Gail was hooked. She needed to taste the sweetness of Holly's lips again.

Inching closer to Holly, Gail brought their lips together in a deeper more lingering kiss. Where the first had been innocent bordering on chaste even this one was different. Lips parted and the moment Holly felt Gail's tongue slip into her mouth a low moan escaped. She couldn't believe that she was kissing Gail. That Gail's hands were clutching at her, pulling her closer. It seemed like a dream and one that Holly never wanted to wake from.

_I'm kissing Holly. She tastes so good. God! She's an amazing kisser._ That seemed to be all Gail was able to think about before her mind went foggy and she was lost in the sensation of being thoroughly kissed senseless by Holly. Her back pressed against the side of Holly's car as Holly pressed against her, their kiss growing hungrier, lips more insistent and tongues getting more daring. Gail heard herself whimper as Holly's teeth caught her bottom lip and tugged gently sending a pleasurable jolt through her entire body.

Gail's hands disappeared into Holly's jacket, the heat from Holly's body burning into her palms as her fingers sought skin. Every moment spent anticipating what this might be like, what kissing Holly again would feel like couldn't hold a candle to it actually happening.

"Gail…Gail we have to stop." Holly murmured against Gail's lips not wanting to pull away for even a second. But Gail took the opportunity to trail kisses along Holly's jaw until she reached just under Holly's ear. Holly's reaction to Gail's lips on her sensitive skin was immediate her hand tightened into a fist grabbing a handful of Gail's hair making the blonde hiss as both pleasure and pain mingled.

"Sure you don't want to come up?" Gail asked nipping at the skin teasingly.

"I knew kissing you would be dangerous." Holly sighed.

"Just come inside. We don't have to do anything. I just don't want to have the night end." Gail said pulling away from Holly and looking at the brunette. Stunned when she saw the desire that seemed to radiate from Holly, the raw arousal and want that Holly had for her. No one had ever looked at Gail like that before.

"I really want to Gail."

"But you're going to be chivalrous." Gail sighed, she wanted to be mad that Holly was turning her invitation down. But she knew why Holly was doing it and she could at least appreciate Holly's attempt to take things slow for her benefit.

"Yeah."

"You're lucky I like you so much. Otherwise my ego might not be able to take this rejection." Gail teased seeing Holly smile as they both put some much needed space between them.

"Believe me your ego has nothing to worry about. You are temptation personified Gail."

"Ooh I like the sound of that."

"I thought you might."

"Okay, I'm going to go inside now. Before I, you know, jump you again." Gail said moving past Holly their shoulders brushing.

"Goodnight Gail."

"I'll call you tomorrow."

"What? You're not going to come to my office again?" Holly asked in mock outrage.

"Maybe if you're lucky." Gail ascended the stairs, casting one last lingering look at Holly before disappearing inside. Holly loitered for a few more minutes before returning to her car and driving home.

* * *

 

Gail was distracted. Her mind still lingering on the kiss that she and Holly had shared. She'd never experienced a kiss like that before. Nothing that left such a vivid imprint on her mind. Nothing that made her replay it over and over in her mind desperate to cling to the memory. She felt girly. She expected this kind of reaction from someone like McNally or Chloe. But she was Gail Peck. She didn't swoon like this. And what was more surprising was that she was just itching to talk about it. To scream from the rooftops that she was happy but she didn't have that person. The one that she could tell about this. Her person was Holly. And it seemed too weird to talk to Holly about Holly.

"You okay Gail? You look really distracted." Andy asked as they drove. The two had been partnered together and Andy had expected some sort of reaction from Gail. But she hadn't gotten one. Gail had just silently grabbed her stuff and met her at the car.

"I'm fine." Gail answered clearly still distracted. Her gaze was unfocused as she watched the city speed by them.

"Is everything okay with you and Holly?" Andy automatically assumed that if Gail was so far out of it something might have happened.

"What? Why would you ask that?"

"I don't know, you just have been really happy lately. And now you aren't. I just wanted to make sure everything was okay." Gail sighed, she knew that Andy was trying. Before the whole thing with Nick the two of them had been good friends. Gail had tried to convince herself that they hadn't been. But that wasn't true and she knew it.

"Okay, but you have to promise that you won't get all girly on me okay?" Gail warned.

"I can do that." Andy said with a bit more enthusiasm than was probably necessary.

"We kissed last night. After our date." Gail started glancing at Andy to read her response. Andy nodded, trying to keep her reaction schooled.

"How was it?"

"You know how people always describe their perfect first kiss as seeing fireworks or sparks or whatever cliché shit they use to describe it?" Gail asked. Andy was starting to get a little nervous. Had the kiss gone badly?

"Uh huh." Gail took a deep breath.

"Yeah, they were right."

"That's great Gail." Andy said beaming.

"Yeah."

"Now you don't sound so sure. It was good right?"

"It was amazing Andy. Holly is amazing. She's the best thing that has ever happened to me and she came totally out of the blue. I wasn't looking for her."

"That's the best part Gail, when you stop looking for it love finds you."

"You sound like a Hallmark card." Gail spat.

"Are you freaking out?"

"No. I'm not. Being with Holly feels great. It feels right and its easy and effortless. And that is what freaks me out."

"I don't understand."

"After the whole thing with Perik I didn't think that I could feel. I didn't want to. Any emotion just hurt, if I was happy I felt guilty because Jerry was dead, if I was sad I felt pathetic and weak. It was easier to just not feel anything. And then Holly came along." Gail stopped, she didn't really know where she was going with this. But she needed to say it and Andy was offering to listen.

"You deserve to be happy Gail."

"That's what Traci said."

"Because it's true. You blame yourself for what happened with Jerry but no one else does. Time to move on from that and let yourself be happy. Live for the moment okay? I learned that with what happened to Sam. Life is short. Who knows if we're going to make it back from shift? We need to keep the people who mean something to us close and remind them every day how much they mean to us. Who knows if we get that chance again?"

"I've never had that person I needed to worry about. That person that would care if something happened to me. I mean, I have you losers and everything. But I've always dated cops, people that understand what it means to do the job that we do. What if Holly can't handle it?"

"She can."

"How the Hell do you know that?"

"I can just see it in the way that she looks at you."

"I guess that's what freaks me out. I'm not worried that I'll run. I'm afraid she will." There it was. The heart of Gail's freak out. She was terrified that Holly would realize what it was that she was getting into with dating a cop.

"Have you talked to her about that?"

"No."

"I think you should. If it's something that you're really worried about."

" _1523- 911 call reporting a body found. Are you available to respond?"_

"1523 responding."

Gail welcomed the distraction. Thinking about work gave Gail a way of avoiding the thoughts driving her crazy. As their car pulled up they saw they weren't the first or the last car to respond. Oliver and Nick were standing just inside the police tape talking, while Dov and Chris were questioning the witnesses. The thing that caught their attention was that Traci seemed to be having a heated conversation with the coroner.

"Hey, what's going on?" Andy asked when it looked like Traci was about to throw a punch.

"What's going on is that the coroner took one look at the body and refuses to go near it." Traci ranted frustration rolling off of her in waves.

"I told you _Detective_ that this is above my pay grade and I placed a call to my boss." The coroner said. Gail never liked coroners, when she had to deal with them they always seems so creepy.

"Above your pay grade it's a body." Gail gestured towards the body covered with a tarp to preserve it. The body was in a grass clearing just off the side of the road.

"You have protocols you have to follow. So do I." He said defensively.

Watching as one of the lab's SUV's pulled up next to the squad cars Gail saw Holly step out and despite everything, the fact that they were both at work, and that there was a dead body less than ten meters away, Gail felt her breath catch and her heart start to beat a little faster. Holly was breathtaking.

"Dr. Stewart, finally!" The coroner exclaimed looking at Holly as if she were his saving grace.

"Thanks Mike. I got it from here. Will you stick around for when I'm ready to transport the body?" Holly said with a disarming smile. She glanced at Gail and in the briefest moment their eyes met there was a softness in them, a warmth that made Gail need to bite the inside of her cheek to have to fight.

"Sure thing. I'll be over there."

"Detective Nash." Holly greeted knowing that Traci was one of Gail's really good friends but wanting to keep things professional.

"So, why couldn't the coroner do his job?" Traci bit. She was beyond frustrated. She had been battling with the man for an hour on why he wouldn't touch the body and she just wanted to make some sort of progress on the case.

"Suspicious circumstances require someone above a coroner to do the initial survey of the body. Sorry, I was in an autopsy this morning. I came as soon as I could." Holly apologized walking towards the body. The first thing she saw was the tarp and she took a deep, calming breath. "Who put the tarp on the body?"

It was one of the police issued tarps, she recognized it from other cases she'd worked.

"I did." Nick volunteered, standing proudly with his chest puffed out.

"It's contaminating my scene." Holly replied sharply. At that Gail couldn't fight the smile.

"Sorry, but people were staring and…" Nick stammered.

"Really don't care." Holly answered leaving Nick to gawk after her. Gail glanced at Nick, smile still well in place and followed Holly. Holly knew that the CSU tech's had already photographed everything and there was a familiar face from the lab waiting for her camera at the ready for when she lifted the tarp.

"Dr. Stewart." Gail greeted playfully.

"Don't worry Officer I promise I'm supposed to be here." Holly tossed back referring back to their first meeting.

Gail, Traci, and Andy held back a few feet letting Holly do her work without getting in the way. But the three of them were curious as to what was under the tarp. Gail just wanted to watch Holly in action. Her girlfriend was hot, and there was something extremely sexy about watching Holly strut her stuff. Holly nodded allowing for the assistants to lift the tarp and take it for evidence.

The body underneath the tarp was laying on his back, his skin the bluish hue of death but his eyes were open staring at the sky. The only sound that filled the air around them was the shutter snapping of the camera taking pictures of everything. When they were finally silenced Holly circled the body taking in everything she could visually. The officers let Holly do that until the suspense was too much for Gail.

"What can you tell about the guy?" Gail asked curiously. Her notebook was out and she was ready to write down everything that Holly said. It was after all, her job. It just didn't hurt that she didn't mind listening to Holly talk medical speak.

"Male, approximately 350lbs, mid to late 50's. Wasn't killed here." Holly answered kneeling down and pulling her 'lunchbox' as Gail called it closer so she could get the tools that she needed.

"How can you tell?" Traci asked curiously.

"There isn't any blood around the body. He was dead when he was dumped here." Holly replied pulling out the thermometer to take his liver temp. Gail watched with a mixture of fascination and disgust as Holly stabbed the man with the tool before reading off the results to her assistant who was also writing everything down.

"How long has he been dead?"

"About 3-5 hours."

"Any idea how?"

"Won't know until I get him on my table." Holly said when something caught her eye. The man was wearing a button down shirt but the buttons didn't go all the way up and she could see the beginnings of an incision vertically along his chest.

"Keep me posted? I'll send McNally and Peck with you to the lab."

"You sure you don't need them?" Holly asked curiously. She wondered if the reason Traci was sending Gail with her was because she knew of their relationship. Hoping that Traci wouldn't do that but not knowing her well enough.

"Yeah, we're going to get a lot of pressure on this one."

"Alright. I'll meet you guys in the lab." Holly said giving Gail a small smile, which was returned. Gail had to admit she was excited at the prospect of spending the entire day with Holly. Like she had the first day they'd met. But she wasn't as thrilled with having Andy also be there.

* * *

 

"This is kind of exciting right? I've never seen an autopsy before." Andy rattled on as they walked down the hallway towards the lab. Gail rolled her eyes wondering how long it would be until Andy lost her lunch into the waste basket. Gail had only watched Holly do one autopsy out of curiosity once and even she had nearly lost it.

"It's not that exciting McNally."

"But we get to spend the day with Holly." Andy said the implication not lost on Gail.

"We're working. Let's try and keep it professional."

When the two officers walked into Holly's lab the body was already on the table. The lab tech was prepping the body for the autopsy and already his clothes had been removed. Both Gail and Andy chose to stay into the far corner of the room, away from the body so they didn't have to see much. Holly came in a few minutes later changed from the clothes that she had been wearing into scrubs with a surgical gown over that. Her hair pulled up into a lose bun.

"You guys really don't have to be in here for that. You can wait in my office if you want." Holly offered glancing at the body.

"My first autopsy." Andy blurted out like an excited child. Holly glanced at Gail who shrugged and leaned against the wall, arms crossed casually over her chest.

"Alright, a few rules then. Don't touch anything, if you're going to throw up try and make it out there. If you can't there is a waste basket by the door. And stay over there." Holly said venturing towards the body. The first thing that she focused on was the incision that she had gotten a peak of before. It looked like the kind of incision that was made for heart surgery but it was recent. Running her gloved hand over the chest, feeling for any of the signs that this man had gone through open heart surgery she felt the rib cage give slightly.

Gail watched transfixed as Holly conducted the autopsy, dictating her notes into a voice recorder so that she could go over it later. Holly did everything with such care, as if the guy could still feel what she was doing. She wasn't unnecessarily harsh with the body even though the guy was already dead. Her focus though was on Holly not the body, so when McNally stormed out of the room about to hurl Gail remembered that they were in an autopsy.

"What the…" Gail recognized that tone. The one that meant that something had surprised and baffled Holly.

"What?" Gail asked her instinct was to get closer to look. Though there was a very low probability that she would be able to know any more than Holly on the subject.

"Uh I think I know cause of death."

"That's good right? What is it?" Gail asked pulling out her cell phone about to call Traci.

"His heart was cut out of his chest." Gail's gaze darted up to look at Holly. With the mask on all she could really see was Holly's eyes but Gail could tell that this was a new one for Holly.

"Sorry, run this by me one more time." Traci asked looking at Holly like the brunette had spoken a foreign language to her. Luke looked equally baffled.

"The cause of death was this man had his chest cracked open and his heart removed. While it was still beating." Holly explained looking at the body though the window. She could only hope that he had been unconscious during that time. Or the pain would have been incomprehensible.

"How can you tell?" Gail asked unable to keep her curiosity from bubbling over. No one seemed to mind that she was asking questions.

"The amount of blood in the chest cavity. That isn't the strangest part though. The strange part is that the heart was put back incorrectly." Pointing at the pictures of the x-rays none of the officers could really tell by looking at it. "The heart is backwards."

"Backwards?"

"Whoever did this has some sort of knowledge of anatomy. It takes a lot of skill to know how to make the right incision, crack open the rib cage and remove the heart like this. Someone who maybe went through a few years of medical school or more." Holly offered. It was just a guess, the detectives were going to handle that part of it. But that would be her best hypothesis.

"So we're looking for a doctor?" Luke asked looking up from his notes.

"It's a very likely possibility."

"Thought you guys took an oath to do no harm?" Gail quipped. Holly glanced at her, lips curling in a small smirk before returning her attention to the detectives.

"Thanks Holly."

"I'll send you guys my report when it's finished."

"McPeck, you guys good staying here?" Luke asked glancing between the two uniformed officers. Holly's eyebrows arched at the nickname. She'd heard of 'Peckstein' but didn't know the blending of last names was a thing.

"We're good here." Andy said smiling awkwardly at Luke. She wished things weren't still weird between them. But they were. And she was beginning to suspect they always would be.

"McPeck?" Holly asked when they were alone.

"It's something the D's like to do." Andy offered.

"It'll be a couple of hours before the lab is done analyzing the samples I sent them. You guys really don't have to hang out." Holly knew how much Gail hated being stuck in one place. She liked to be out on patrol, she liked being out and doing things.

"I don't mind." Andy said. Gail leaned against Holly's desk wishing that she could stop thinking about their kiss. Wondering if Holly was having the same trouble she was keeping her mind off of it. Holly didn't seem as preoccupied with it as Gail was. What did that mean? Did it not mean as much to Holly as it meant to Gail? These were things that Gail would have asked if Andy weren't in the room.

"So you outrank the coroner?" Gail asked conversationally. Holly looked up at the question, seeing that Gail was trying to look disinterested but knowing that Gail was impressed.

"Technically." Holly replied modestly. She didn't like to think of it with a ranking system.

"Why?" Andy chimed in knowing that she would never live it down if she were not have spent the entire day with Holly and not gotten any details to relay back to their group.

"I went to medical school and he didn't. Most of the time coroners can handle the retrieval of the body and depending on the cause of death they'll do the autopsy and then me or another forensic pathologist will look over the results and make sure everything is in order and then we'll sign off of it. On the tougher cases then we get called in."

"Huh, so you're like a super nerd?" Gail deadpanned. Andy shot her a glare not understanding the way that Gail and Holly worked.

"Pretty much."

"That's kind of hot." Gail whispered as she passed behind Holly. Holly blushed and looked up at Andy who was trying to make it look like she wasn't paying attention.

Holly's phone rang interrupting the moment that they had. Gail watched as a look of what could only be described as alarm crossed over Holly's face and she asked very forcefully if whoever was on the other end of the line was absolutely sure of what they were telling her.

"What's up?"

"You should call Detective Nash." Holly replied going back to the drawer that Holly had put the body in. Pulling out the metal drawer revealing the body once again now with a distinctive 'Y' incision.

Traci and Luke arrived within ten minutes asking what the results were.

"It's not his heart." Holly announced.

"Excuse me?" Traci asked incredulously.

"The lab results just came in. I sent a tissue sample because the organ was removed and the tissue and DNA don't match with the rest of the body. Whoever killed this guy removed his heart and replaced it with another."

"So there is another victim out there?"

"I guess? That's your job not mine."

"Thanks Holly."

"Sure. I'll let you know if I find anything else." Holly said watching as the baffled cops turned to leave her lab. Gail lingered for a few minutes after everyone had gone.

"So, I know that we just spent the better part of the day together. But if you weren't busy later I was thinking maybe we could…I mean unless you're sick of me and I don't blame you if you were-."

"I'll text you when I'm off." Holly interrupted saving Gail from any further babbling.

"Okay."

**So...thoughts?**


	2. Chapter Two

Chapter Two

Growing up under the watchful tutelage of her mother Gail knew how to personify professionalism. It was a particular knack that she had to always be able to switch on the Gail Peck professional persona at the drop of a dime. But even with that innate training Gail found that every time she saw Holly in a professional capacity Gail couldn't think of anything other than she wanted to be as close to the brunette as possible. And she wasn't as able to keep the smile that came to her face whenever she saw Holly. In the few weeks that followed their first date the two of them fell into an easy sort of relationship. Though neither one of them had actually said the world, relationship or girlfriend, it went without saying. It was understood.

"Officer Peck." Gail bit the inside of her cheek when she heard the familiar voice of her girlfriend over her shoulder. There was a tone that Holly used when she was there for personal reasons and not professional ones. It was slightly more playful, there was just something that gave Holly away.

"Dr. Stewart." Gail returned spinning around in her chair and seeing Holly standing holding a file in front of her. Not unlike the day that Holly had come to check on Gail during the chaos of the shooting. Only this time Gail didn't feel guilty that her eyes drifted down the sloping neckline of Holly's blouse. She could see the fabric of Holly's tank top and the hint of cleavage. Gail suddenly felt very warm.

"Hey, my eyes are up here." Holly teased in a low voice making Gail's attention snap up to meet Holly's chocolate eyes that were alive with amusement.

"What're you doing here?" Gail asked clearing her throat trying to regain some of her dignity as she turned to straighten some of the papers that were on her desk.

"Courier was sick?"

"I think the interrogation room is busy at the moment."

"Too bad. Anyway, I came up here to drop this off with Traci thought I'd stop by and see what true police work looked like." Holly said leaning against Gail's desk. She'd been hesitant to approach Gail, she remembered the panic that had crossed over Gail's face when she had come to visit Gail before. It was why Holly usually avoided approaching Gail at work. But she couldn't help it when she saw Gail looking bored at her desk trying to finish paperwork. So she'd taken a chance and she was glad to see that Gail didn't seem as opposed to the idea this time.

"Oh it's a ball of excitement right now. Right now I'm filling out the paperwork for a traffic stop that McNally and I had earlier today. Guy was going a whole 15 over the speed limit." Gail said. Holly rolled her eyes, she hated speeding tickets. She had gotten tickets for going five over the speed limit before. Thankfully she wasn't dating a cop then.

"Wow practically a high speed chase." Holly indulged. Gail smirked knowing that Holly was humoring her but appreciating that the brunette was.

"How's the morgue?"

"Death unfortunately doesn't take holidays. But no autopsies for me." Holly answered with a shrug. She didn't mind. There was always something that she could do to fill her time. But Holly also knew how much Gail hated being bored.

"How's your research?" Gail asked casually. Holly paused for a minute not sure how to respond. She hadn't thought that Gail was paying attention when she was explaining the research she was doing. She was commissioned for at least one research project and expected to write possibly a follow up piece to it. But if Gail was honest she appreciated that Holly had told her what she was researching. She expected Holly to tell her that she wouldn't understand the scientific terminology and the basic subject matter. Instead, Holly had explained it in a way that Gail could understand.

"It's slow going. But I'll probably go to the body farm later and see if there has been any progress." Holly answered with a shrug.

"The what now?" Gail demanded catching what Holly had said and being beyond intrigued.

"The body farm. It's a patch of land owned by the forensics lab that is contracted out to Universities and other research facilities. They take donated corpses and expose them to a variety of different conditions and study the effects so that we can better determine the actual causes of death for bodies when we find them." Holly explained very matter of fact. Gail was trying to wrap her had around the idea that there were people that actually donated their bodies to that kind of science.

"Gross."

"It's actually really helpful."

"And weird."

"It's science."

"It's weird science."

"I'm going back to work now." Holly put a stop to their playful volley. As much as she would have loved to stay and converse with Gail for the rest of the day she didn't want Gail to get in trouble.

"Am I seeing you later?" Gail asked not liking the idea that Holly would be leaving. Her hand twitched with the desire to reach for the brunette and physically stop her.

"I thought you were going to the Penny tonight with your friends." Holly remembered that they'd talked about it. Gail had told her that she needed to at least make an appearance. Her friends were starting to comment that she didn't spend any time with them anymore. And it was true. She spent most of her time with Holly, coming home only to sleep. If she was home she was on the phone with Holly.

"I can blow them off. I'd much rather be with you." Gail said in a quiet voice. One that Holly recognized immediately as Gail's honest tone. Whenever Gail made a confession or an admission of something that made her uncomfortable her voice would get quiet and she would speak slower as if each word she spoke was more important.

"I'd rather spend tonight with you too. But I don't want to steal you from them."

"You could come. I mean they've been bugging me for days for me to bring you along so that they can meet you in a non-professional capacity." Gail looked up at Holly briefly before averting her eyes, finding the paperwork in front of her suddenly very interesting.

"Do you want me to come?" Holly asked cautiously. She couldn't tell if Gail was offering because she thought that she had to. Or if she was offering because she genuinely wanted Holy to meet her friends. Of course they knew each other in the professional sense. They'd all worked cases together or seen each other around. But as far as who Holly was when she wasn't at work, and more importantly who Holly was when she was with Gail, they were all very curious.

"I want you to meet them. I want you to get along with them."

"If you're sure." Holly replied.

"Do you not want to meet them?" Gail asked.

"I want to do whatever you're comfortable with."

Gail hesitated. It wasn't that Gail didn't want them to meet. She wanted the people that were important to her life to get along. But she didn't want to share Holly with them yet. She didn't want to share Holly with anyone. And realizing how ridiculous that sounded in her head Gail felt herself burn with embarrassment. She sounded like a possessive asshole. To keep her girlfriend from her friends simply because she was afraid that she would then have to share Holly's attention. It was childish, and it was stupid, but it was also powerful and all encompassing.

"That's what I thought. It's okay Gail. I'll talk to you tonight when you call me." Holly said pushing off from the desk. Gail wanted to stop her but she couldn't bring herself to.

"Shit." Gail muttered to herself. Mentally kicking herself for how she handled that. She should have just told Holly how she was feeling. Holly would understand. Holly always understood what she was feeling even when Gail didn't understand.

"You okay?" Andy asked sitting down next to Gail and seeing the torment on her friends face. Gail didn't look angry she looked distraught. Andy had watched Holly walk away but the brunette didn't look upset.

"Fine." Gail said going back to her report but from the sound of it Gail was going to break her keyboard with the intensity she was typing.

"Something happen with Holly?" Andy tried again. She wasn't really expecting Gail to open up and tell her. Things were still so tentative between them. But Andy wanted Gail to know that she was there if Gail ever wanted to talk.

"Everything's fine McNally." Gail snapped though her tone carried with it less of a bite than it normally would have.

By the end of her shift the feeling of guilt had settled full force into the pit of Gail's stomach. It nagged at her, she knew that she'd hurt Holly. And the thought made her feel as if she were worse than the criminals she arrested for heinous crimes. She had to see Holly. Explain to Holly that it wasn't that she was ashamed. Shrugging her bag over her shoulder Gail wandered out of the precinct. She was going to go see Holly and she was going to find a way to make it right. Even though she was due to go to the Penny Gail knew that she wouldn't have any chance of having a good time if she knew that she had managed to cause Holly pain.

Looking up at Holly's town home, seeing the lights that were on inside Gail knew that Holly was home. But she couldn't bring herself to go and knock on the door. How could she hope to explain to Holly what she didn't even understand herself? Gail felt the panic seep through her system like ice water and she shivered violently as she thought about it. Could she make Holly understand? Why was she having such a hard time with going to the Penny to hang out with her friends who already knew that she and Holly were a couple? It would be more understandable if they didn't know. If she was taking Holly to meet them as a way of coming out to them. But that wasn't the case. So why was she so afraid?

An hour passed but it felt like minutes. Gail leaned against the side of her car where she parked on the street. Looking at Holly's townhome lacking the courage to go up and knock on the door. Finally she heard Holly's front door open and it shook her out of her thoughts. Holly had been shutting things off for the night and happened to look out the window. Gail was hard to miss with her platinum blonde hair.

"Gail? Is everything okay?" Holly asked seeing the clearly distraught look on Gail's face. The way that the blonde had seemed to fold in on herself. Arms crossed tightly over her chest but hunched over like she was trying to protect herself. Walking towards Gail, Holly gave no thought to what happened earlier that night and immediately wrapped her arms around Gail pulling her in tightly.

"I'm so sorry Holly." Gail whispered, her breath hot against Holly's neck as she clutched the fabric of Holly's shirt tightly in her fist keeping the brunette to her.

"I told you, you have nothing to be sorry for. I understand Gail. I really do. I was there once I had to come out to." Holly offered calmly. She had felt the sting of Gail's hesitation, she wasn't going to lie and say she didn't. But she also knew that coming out wasn't easy. And finally feeling comfortable around her friends to bring Holly along might take Gail some time. Holly was willing to wait for that.

"I'm not ashamed of us. I don't want to hide what we have." Gail said pulling away needing to look into Holly's eyes so that Holly could see that she meant it.

"I know."

"I couldn't stand the thought that I'd hurt you. It-"

"Shh Gail. Come inside. It's freezing out here." Holly said ushering Gail inside and locking the door behind them. Gail wandered into Holly's living room tentatively. Not with the usual confidence and force of nature that Gail was. Holly's heart broke a little for Gail. It had been a while since she'd come out. Several years in fact and she'd forgotten what it felt like.

"It isn't what you think." Gail announced suddenly halting any attempt Holly had planned to make to calm Gail down. Now concern bled into confusion as Holly wasn't sure what Gail meant and therefore didn't know what to say. "My friends know about us Holly. Everyone knows, it's the newest hot gossip around the precinct. That's not why I hesitated when I invited you to the Penny tonight."

"Okay, so then why did you?" Holly asked patiently. She could see the wheels spinning in Gail's head. Gail sat down on the sofa and covered her face with her hands rubbing tiredly at her face.

"Let me preface this with, I promise I'm not as chauvinistic as this is about to sound." Gail started. Holly couldn't hold back the laughter that came as a response. Whatever Gail was about to say was going to be good. Sitting down on the coffee table Holly waited patiently for Gail to begin.

"I'll try."

"I'm not ready to share you yet." Gail blurted out with her usual brashness and utter honesty that always surprised Holly.

"I don't understand."

"Good things don't happen to me very often. And if they do it doesn't last. I really want what we have to last a really long time. But I guess I just want to enjoy just being us for a while before adding in whatever everyone else's opinion might be." Gail explained as best she could. Finally looking up at Holly unsure what reaction the brunette would have to her confession. Holly didn't really know what to say. She wanted to believe Gail. But she couldn't help but fear that Gail was hiding them whether it be out of shame or fear or maybe both Holly didn't even want to hazard a guess.

"Don't they know about us?"

"They do. I told them weeks ago."

"Okay." Holly sighed standing up and walking to the window on the opposite side of her living room. Needing to put some distance between them so she could think.

"Okay what?" Gail asked watching Holly and wishing she could read Holly as well as Holly could read her.

"I meant what I said when I told you I wasn't upset. Just confused. But I remember coming out and how confusing it was telling everyone I was dating a woman. It's hard. So I can be patient. Just…I've done this before. Dating straight girls that are only experimenting-"

"Holly that's not what I'm doing." Gail interrupted.

"I know. And I'm having faith in us that this is more than that. I'm willing to take that risk because I think you are worth it. I think we're worth it. But if you can't do this, if it's too much I need you to tell me because I've been someone's secret girlfriend before and I promised I would never do it again."

Gail was silent for a long moment while she took in what Holly said. Appreciating Holly's honesty and seeing the deep routed pain there. It was a story Gail wanted to hear. Hear about the woman that was stupid enough to want to keep Holly a secret. Who didn't flaunt the fact that someone as amazing as Holly.

"I promise I'm not trying to hide you. I just don't want to share you yet." Holly wasn't sure if she understood exactly what Gail meant but she knew that Gail wasn't trying to be possessive. That wasn't what this was about. Gail wasn't treating her like property to be shared but Gail wanted to cherish the time that they had together before adding the complications of the outside world. Holly could respect that.

"I think I'm okay with just being yours. Doesn't sound so bad." Holly offered the same lopsided grin that made Gail's stomach flip flop spreading across her face. Gail breathed a sigh of relief as she stood up from the couch and walked towards Holly looping her arms around the brunette.

"So uh, girlfriend huh?" Gail had tried to ignore the way that the word had made her feel when it had accidentally come out during Holly's rant. Gail was kind of surprised how much she liked the idea. It had never been like that with her past relationships, even if it was generally accepted that she was dating Chris or Nick they didn't throw terms like boyfriend or girlfriend around. But with Holly, Gail really liked the idea of being Holly's girlfriend and vice versa.

"If you want. I don't want to push."

"I want." Gail insisted. The two women stood in Holly's living room for several minutes letting what had just happened sink in with them. Now they were firmly established as a couple. The thought was both thrilling and terrifying to both of them. Ultimately it was Holly who broke their embrace first, pulling out of Gail's arms and walking towards the kitchen.

"Hungry?"

"I'm always hungry." Gail fired back causing Holly to laugh while she scrounged around the kitchen for something to cook.

* * *

Holly had been looking at her computer screen so long her eyes were starting to burn and the words were blurring together. It was the fourth time she'd read the same report. She didn't know why she kept reading it. The information wasn't going to change. There were no matches in any database for the heart that had been in the victim's body. Traci and Luke had the officers looking for the identity of the body that they had found but that was also slow going. It was a puzzle that was getting harder and harder to crack.

"Brought you coffee." Holly welcomed the excuse to look up from her computer when her lab assistant came in holding two large cups of coffee. Accepting the cup with a grateful smile Holly took a generous gulp welcoming the warmth.

"Thanks." Holly said finally. Zach had been her assistant since she started at the lab and he was probably her favorite. He was more than competent, and they got along and worked in sync with one another. Often times she didn't even need to say anything and he knew what she needed. Hence the coffee.

"Any progress?" He asked looking at the reports.

"Nope. Lab couldn't find any fibers or particulates that would help identify where this guy died. And the wounds are surgical. It's remarkable in its own way."

"It just seems weird that a doctor would do this." He mused. Holly felt his words hit her like a lightning bolt and she quickly rummaged through the photos looking for one in particular. There had been something that just didn't look right when she had looked over her initial photos of the body before her autopsy. When she found it she looked it over and realized what it was that seemed so odd about it.

"Jesus Christ." Holly whispered looking up at Zach as if he could read her mind. But he just looked at her confused while she picked up the phone and dialed Traci's phone number telling her she'd found something and then grabbing the photo and heading out of her office.

Holly navigated the hallways of 15th division with a practiced ease though her feet carried her with a bit more urgency than they usually did. Photo clutched tightly in her hands concealed within a manila folder. Her eyes automatically sought out Gail, like it was a muscle memory. She was so used to visiting 15th to see Gail that it seemed strange not to be there to see her then. Gail spotted her too and looked confused when Holly bypassed her desk and quickly ascended the stairs to the detective's offices.

"Please tell me you've found something to crack this case." Traci said when she saw Holly.

"I think whoever killed this guy is a coroner or an ME." Holly announced slightly out of breath. It seemed strange to say the words out loud. Knowing enough of the people in that community as she did Holly didn't think any of them were capable of murder.

"Why do you say that?" Traci asked. Holly produced the photo and showed it to Traci who then handed it to Luke.

"I thought something looked off when I was looking at the body during my autopsy. I just couldn't place it. But looking at that photo I realized what it was. The way the heart was removed is exactly the way that we are taught to remove the heart during autopsy. In fact it's textbook." Holly explained. She had all details that they probably didn't want to hear about ready if they asked.

"You're sure?"

"Down to each artery and vein he cut."

"Okay, so if he is or was an ME that narrows down our search." Traci said looking at Luke as they both went to their computers to begin pulling up lists of registered medical examiners in the city.

"Thanks Doc."

"Any time."

Holly left the offices walking considerably slower than she had when she arrived, not in any particular hurry to get back to the lab. Still, it didn't make her feel any better. It was bad enough when they thought it could be a doctor that did it. But for it to be a ME, someone that was supposed to solve the mysteries of how people died not be the cause of it, it made Holly feel sick.

"Hey, you okay?" Gail asked seeing the look on Holly's face and noting how very un-Holly like it was.

"Yeah, just some further information about that murder from a few days back." Holly offered seeing the concern radiate from Gail's eyes.

"You sure?"

"Uh huh. I gotta get back to work. Call me later?" Holly asked not waiting for an answer before she turned down the hallway towards the elevators.

Gail knew something was bothering Holly, probably work related since as far as Gail knew things were going great between the two of them. But in the five hours since Gail had seen Holly at the barn she had not gotten one text message or phone call. Not even something as simple as asking how her day was going. That was unusual. Holly liked to text, she liked to stay in as constant of contact as possible. And while that normally would bother Gail with it appearing to be overly clingy and unnecessary Gail knew that it was in part because it put Holly's mind at ease. If Gail was texting her back then it meant she wasn't hurt. That didn't mean that their conversations were especially deep either, one of their first text conversations had been about the ridiculousness of people putting clothes on their pets.

But the no contact was bothering Gail.

_**Gail Peck 6:02pm: Hey Lunchbox are you hungry?** _

Setting her phone down at her work station while she finished her paperwork from the otherwise slow day she'd had Gail waited impatiently for her phone to spring to life with Holly's reply. Five minutes passed, and then ten, by fifteen Gail was reaching for her phone and tapping out another text.

_**Gail Peck 6:17pm: Please confirm existence.** _

Remembering when Holly had asked that through the bathroom door that night of the shooting and hoping that it might inspire Holly to respond. Finally after what felt like an eternity her phone buzzed and Holly's name appeared on her screen.

_**Holly Stewart 6:23pm: Sorry, been lost in work all day. Still hungry?** _

_**Gail Peck 6:24pm: Glad I can cancel that APB on you. Can you get away or do you want me to bring food to you?** _

_**Holly Stewart 6:30pm: Come to my office whenever you get off. I'll be here a while.** _

Gail frowned, remembering how Holly told her she never spent time in her office. Submitting the last of her reports and then going to the locker room to chance Gail saw Traci also changing to go home. The two acknowledged each other with a nod and then went about their business in silence before Gail couldn't keep it in anymore.

"What did you do to Holly?" Gail demanded her tone more accusatory and biting than it probably needed to be. But Traci had learned to expect things like that from Gail.

"What are you talking about?" Traci countered.

"She came to see you this morning and then when she left she was different." Gail elaborated.

"Holly brought some information to us about a case we're working on. You know I can't go into details with you Gail. And neither can she."

"She's my girlfriend and she's upset and I don't know how to fix it. So you have to give me something." Gail insisted. She knew that they couldn't talk about active cases it wasn't her first day. But she needed to know what she was about to walk into so that she could come appropriately armed. Traci didn't even bother hiding the smile at Gail's protectiveness of Holly.

"We think that the person that killed our victim is a ME. I think she's handling it the same way we would handle it if a cop killed someone." Gail could understand that. Holly was incredibly proud of her job and in the profession in general. She thought it was noble and she had even managed to convince Gail that it wasn't weird that she spent the majority of her time around dead bodies.

"Thanks." Gail said genuinely.

"You really like her huh?" Traci probed. When she had spoken to Steve about it he knew about as much about Holly as she did. Which was to say that neither of them knew anything about her except in the professional sense. Traci could tell it bothered Steve that Gail wouldn't open up to him about someone that obviously made her as happy as Holly did. But he wouldn't outright say it.

"Yeah I do. She makes me better."

"Gail, you don't need to be better. You're fine the way that you are." Traci insisted.

"I know. And she's not trying to change me or anything. She just makes me want to be better."

"I really want to meet her you know. Outside of work."

"We'll figure something out." Traci knew that was a polite Gail Peck brush off but she wasn't going to push it. She watched Gail go with a pleased smile and then grabbed her bag to go home to Leo.

* * *

Gail knocked on Holly's office door and waited to be invited inside. When she heard the sound of her girlfriends voice Gail pushed open the door and instantly found herself squinting to adjust to the darkness she found in the room. The only light came from the small desk lamp that sat on Holly's desk and the glow of her computer screen where she was typing away.

"Hey." Holly greeted with a smile. Gail hesitated, she'd thought that Holly was upset. She'd come in expecting that she would have to find some way to cheer her girlfriend up. But Holly didn't look upset, the smile that she gave Gail was even genuine and reached her eyes.

"Hi." Gail said warily.

"You okay? You look like you're afraid I'm going to bite you or something." Holly said saving the changes to her report and then turning her attention back to Gail.

"I thought you were upset. You looked upset."

"I try not to let this job get to me." Holly said. It did sometimes, she couldn't help it. There were some cases that still haunted her but she couldn't let them all get to her.

"It's okay if it does you know."

"I know. Thanks. Come on, let's get out of here." Holly said gathering her things and following Gail out of her office. Gail still wasn't sure if she believed Holly or not. Holly seemed fine but Gail was terrible at reading people.

On their way back to Holly's they picked up take out for dinner and then ate while talking about their days. Gail wanted to ask about the case but she didn't know if Holly wanted to talk about it yet.

"Gail, I promise I'm okay. I'm just frustrated that I can't find a break in this case." Holly said after the fourth time she'd caught Gail glancing at her instead of paying attention to the movie they were watching.

"Okay. I just worry you know. When things upset you." Gail offered bashfully. Holly's heart melted a little at Gail's confession and she reached out for Gail's hand and squeezed it gently.

"I'm okay I promise. If I wasn't I'd tell you."

"Good, because we talk about things right?"

"We do."

Gail leaned into Holly's shoulder and cuddled into Holly's side while they watched the rest of whatever movie they had turned on. Neither of them were paying much attention to it. Gail's attention was on the circles that Holly's hands were drawing on the inside of her palm that were beginning to drive her crazy. It was such an innocent and sweet gesture but it was also incredibly erotic and Gail wasn't sure why that was. She felt each stroke of Holly's fingers shoot tendrils of pleasure through her body making her shiver with excitement. Holly pretended not to notice Gail's reaction but she couldn't help the smug smile that soon spread across her face.

It was unclear which one initiated the kiss, but before Gail was aware of how it happened she was pinned against the cushions of Holly's couch with Holly's weight pushed deliciously against her. Gail wasn't sure if it was possible to actually combust. But if it was possible she was convinced she was about to. Her entire body was on fire, tingling with a deep rooted pleasure that she felt everywhere. Their mouths melded together in an effortless way, tongues dancing erotically around each other's as they remained locked in a deep, languid kiss. Gail used to hate being the submissive one during making out or sex. She was always on top. And she was always the dominant one. But with Holly it was different. Gail didn't mind Holly taking control of their kisses.

Feeling Holly withdraw from their kiss hovering over Gail, her dark hair falling around them like a curtain Gail couldn't resist reaching up and brushing Holly's hair back for a better view of her girlfriends beautiful face. Both of them were breathless, but Gail didn't care. She wasn't done kissing Holly yet. She doubted there would ever be a time where she wouldn't want to kiss Holly.

"You're so beautiful." Holly whispered. Gail was always beautiful, breathtakingly so. But there was something about the additional flush of her usually pale skin, and the way her chest heaved as she tried to regain control of her breathing. It made Gail very sexy.

Their bodies were pressed tightly together though Holly was resting her weight mostly on the couch. Their close proximity made Holly dizzy. She wanted Gail. It was such an all-encompassing desire Holly had never felt anything like it before. And the way that Gail's hand kept rubbing small circles on the small of her back, keeping her close made Holly's head spin.

For a long time they allowed themselves to just stare at one another. Drink in the subtleties of each other's faces. Commit them to memory. They could have stayed like that forever and Holly would not have considered it a wasted life. But then Gail slipped her hand under the edge of Holly's shirt and ran her fingers along the skin she found there. Both of them felt the air shift. Gail's ice blue eyes looking up at Holly silently asking for permission. The faintest nod was the only permission Gail needed to pull Holly's lips crashing down upon hers.

The kiss was all passion and desperate need to consume the other. There was no playful caressing of tongues just the need to dominate the kiss. Holly moaned into Gail's mouth as Gail drug her nails across her back hard enough to leave angry red marks. Arousal pumped through their veins so potent it was impossible to think clearly. Feeling Holly's hand clutch tightly at the hem of her shirt Gail knew that Holly was holding back.

"Holly." Gail breathed against Holly's lips before being drawn into another deep kiss. Holly didn't sense any hesitation so she didn't stop her kisses. "Touch me."

Any restraint Holly had snapped at hearing the request. Though deep in the back of her mind she knew that she should put a stop to this dangerous dance they were lost in before it went too far. But she couldn't. Not when Gail was laying under her, requesting to be touched. Holly wasn't a saint. Her touch managed to remain soft though there was a frenzy lingering just underneath. She wanted to feel the silkiness of Gail's skin, commit it to memory. Remember the sounds that Gail made as Holly's hands slid up Gail's rib cage and the blonde arched off the couch encouraging her.

"We should stop." Holly cautioned against the skin of Gail's neck. Despite her words Holly made no effort to stop. Gail just felt too good under her.

"That's a terrible idea." Came Gail's eventual reply masked in a moan that only further made her point. In truth, Gail knew they should stop. Neither of them were ready for this step. But Gail really didn't want to. So when Holly withdrew from their embrace a few moments later after mustering up every bit of her willpower Gail had to fight to keep herself from pulling Holly back to her.

Both women took a few minutes to right themselves and neither said anything. Holly moved to the far end of the couch, her skin still buzzing and her need to touch Gail still high enough she didn't trust herself to be close to the blonde. Gail was lost in thought, processing what had just happened. Before Holly she'd never thought of a woman in any sort of sexual capacity. If anything other women were competition. But kissing Holly was fast becoming her favorite addiction.

"What are you thinking about?" Holly asked after the silence stretched on for almost ten minutes.

"Loaded question. I think my brain is still trying to remember how to function properly." Gail said with a slight blush.

"Yeah, you're pretty amazing at that." Holly praised. No one had ever had the power to make Holly come completely undone like that before. She had always been the composed one in relationships. Not that she didn't ever lose herself in passion but she'd never felt so out of control than she did when she was around Gail. She liked it.

"Of course I am." Gail said with the same playful arrogance that Holly found charming.

"I'm going to get some water. Want some?" Holly asked already standing up and finding her legs were unsteady beneath her. Even with the distance between them it didn't take away the fact that Holly was still incredibly turned on.

"Sure. Thanks." Gail watched Holly walk to the kitchen and grab two bottles of water from the fridge and begin walking back. It filled Gail with an enormous sense of pride that Holly was hers. That someone as amazing as Holly had found something redeemable in her. Enough to give her a chance.

"You look a million miles away." Holly commented. Mostly concerned she might have done something to spook Gail.

"No. Just thinking about you. And how glad I am that I'm here with you." Honesty seemed to come so easily with Holly. Even if Gail had had no intention of making such a confession, with Holly the words came before she could stop them.

"I feel the same Gail." Holly returned sitting down and taking a deep, calming breath. Gail knew that Holly was still as affected as she was from their making out. If she were smart she would leave, go home and take a cold shower and pretend that she wasn't going to dream about it. But she didn't want to leave. She couldn't fathom leaving Holly's. She'd rather endure the unsatisfied arousal.

"I don't work tomorrow." Gail announced. The sudden exclamation drew curious raised eyebrow from Holly.

"Are you asking if you can spend the night Officer?" Holly teased.

"Maybe. Not to you know…do anything. I just don't want to have to go back to my apartment alone. My bed sounds very unappealing to me right now." Gail offered with a shrug.

"You are more than welcome to stay Gail." Holly replied thrilled that Gail felt comfortable enough to even request such a thing. Though Holly wasn't sure if Gail meant that she wanted to sleep in her guest room. The same room she'd stayed in the night of the shooting. But Holly doubted that was what Gail meant. Gail wouldn't have looked so unnerved if that were the case.

By the time they were getting ready for bed both of their ardor had faded enough that it wouldn't be torture for them to cuddle. Holly gave Gail first pick of which side of the bed she wanted, normally sleeping in the center of the bed Holly had no idea what it would be like to sleep with someone again. Gail crawled onto the queen sized bed as if it were her own and kicked her way under the covers.

"Your bed is comfy." Gail commented laying back against the headboard. Holly laughed at the adorable scene playing out in front of her.

"I am quite fond of it." Holly answered circling around the far side of the bed and pulling the covers back. Gail had thought a lot about what clothes Holly wore to bed, imagining Holly in bed was something that had fueled most fantasies of Gail's. It turned out that Holly wore a tank top and navy blue cotton pajama pants.

"I sleep with my socks on." Gail said kicking her feet under the blanket.

"Okay." Holly replied looking at Gail expecting that there might be something more to it. It was something Holly was learning about Gail, outbursts of random facts about Gail sometimes just happened. They didn't come with explanations. Most of the time they didn't even make sense. But they formed a snippet of who Gail was.

"You don't think that's weird?"

"If it makes you comfortable why would I think it's weird? If you want I can go put some socks on." Holly offered pointing to her dresser. With a laugh Gail shoved Holly playfully until she was laying down and looking up at Gail.

"You're so weird."

"Says the girl who announces randomly she wears socks to bed."

"I just thought you should know."

"And now I do." Pushing herself up on her elbows Holly reached for the lamp on her bedside table but before she could flip it off she felt Gail lean over her stopping her before she could turn the light off.

"Is there anything I could say that would freak you out?" Gail asked mostly out of curiosity not because she wanted freak Holly out. But the older woman seemed to legitimately be pondering the question.

"You're asking me this before I fall asleep next to you? Not the smartest thing you can do officer." Holly replied as Gail got comfortable next to her, her head resting on her hand her weight on her elbow.

"I'm just curious."

"Are you a serial killer?"

"No."

"Have a weird panty fetish and I'm going to wake up tomorrow and all my underwear will be gone?"

"What? No."

"I'll have you know I have some very tasteful stuff that you might see someday if you're lucky." Holly playfully defended.

"I have no doubt."

"Um look I don't want to think of things that might freak me out about you. But I don't scare easily."

"Thank God for that." Gail said curling against Holly.

"Can I turn the light out now or is one of your quirks that you like to sleep with the light on? Because if that's the case you're going to need to buy me one of those mask things." Holly said flipping the lamp off. Gail looked over at Holly, in the darkness she couldn't see if Holly's eyes were open but she could see Holly shifting to get more comfortable.

Gail didn't normally cuddle, she wasn't someone that liked a lot of physical contact. But laying so close to Holly made it difficult not to want to be wrapped in Holly's arms. Inching closer to Holly, Gail found that she was curling around Holly side and nestling into her.

* * *

Holly woke the next morning with Gail practically draped over her, wrapped as tightly around her as it seemed possible for two people to be. It seemed that Gail didn't want to stay on her side of the bed while they slept. Struggling to look at the alarm clock that she mercifully hadn't needed to set, it was 6:43am. Ever since medical school Holly hadn't gotten the hang of sleeping in. She just naturally woke up early. But for the first time in a long time she had absolutely no desire to leave bed. On any other morning she would wake up and then get up. No point lingering in bed when there were things she could be doing.

She tried to subtly extract herself from Gail's death grip, just enough so that she could sit up and maybe read a little bit. But every time she moved Gail's hold on her tightened. So Holly took the time before Gail woke up to look at the woman in her arms. When she was sleeping Gail looked so peaceful, there was none of the harsh exterior that she tried to convince everyone she had. Her features were relaxed. It was nice to see.

Time passed by but Holly wasn't really paying attention. She sort of lost herself in memorizing what Gail looked like in this moment. And then as Gail started to wake up, shifting and trying desperately to cling to sleep Holly watched as Gail's subconscious lost and icy blue eyes opened and blinked through a sleep filled haze to look at her. Confusion was the first that Gail felt, she was _cuddling_. Gail Peck did not cuddle. But as more awareness crept through the cloud of sleep circling her brain Gail realized this was the most comfortable she could remember being in bed with someone.

"Good morning." Holly greeted, her voice low and carrying a slightly seductive lilt that Gail didn't know if it was intention or not. But it made her mouth go dry.

"Hey." Gail replied looking up at Holly. Holly wasn't wearing her glasses, she guessed because at this close a distance the brunette didn't need them. Neither of them knew what to say, not wanting to break the spell that held the room they let silence take over while they both retreated into their own thoughts.

Gail's mind screamed at her to move away, put some distance between the two of them so that she could think more clearly. But every time she thought about moving she found that her limbs refused to cooperate. She was comfortable and thus she was not moving until she absolutely had to.

"Sorry, I'm kind of smothering you aren't I?" Gail asked hesitantly waiting to see if Holly was going to ask her to move.

"You aren't."

"I'm not usually like this. I don't usually cuddle." It was clear to Holly that Gail was struggling with this sudden change.

"How do you usually sleep in bed with people you're dating?" Holly asked before she could stop herself. She didn't want to think about Gail's past relationships. Especially given that they had all been with men, and it was still a prominent fear in the back of Holly's mind that Gail was still a straight girl experimenting.

"Separate sides of the bed. I sleep on my side and they sleep on theirs. I don't know, I'm not a very affectionate person as I'm sure you have gathered."

"Well I happen to know I'm an exceptional cuddle buddy so I don't blame you." Holly said lightening the mood effortlessly. Gail chuckled before resting her head back against Holly's shoulder. She was curious who had told Holly that in the past. Surprised at the sharp pang of jealousy that spread through her at the thought of Holly with anyone else.

"You're alright."

"Well if you disagree then you don't have to stay in bed with me." Holly warned. Laughing as Gail's hold on her tightened.

They ventured outside the comfort of Holly's bed an hour or so later, when hunger and general want to get started with the day took over. Holly disappeared into the kitchen to make coffee and scrounge up some sort of breakfast while Gail settled into the living room with the TV turned to some sitcom reruns.

"You need an Xbox." Gail hollered over her shoulder.

"Then buy me one."

"Don't think I won't. If you want me to spend a considerable amount of time here then you should invest in my needs. Which include an Xbox and cheese puffs." Gail explained as Holly placed a steaming mug of coffee on the table in front of Gail.

"You lost me at cheese puffs. Those things are so bad for you." Holly crinkled her nose at the thought. She did agree that they were delicious and in a weak moment of hunger she would indulge in a bag but she couldn't understand Gail's near obsession with them.

"Shut your mouth!" Gail exclaimed faux outrage pouring from her tone.

Holly just shook her head and sipped her coffee, content to watch Gail as she added her colorful commentary to whatever show she had decided to watch. It was a pleasant day, there was no pressing need to get anything done, and they could just be lazy together and enjoy spending the day. It had been a long time since either of them had been able to do that.

_**Traci Nash 3:11pm: Black Penny tonight. Bring Holly.** _

Gail chuckled when she saw the incoming text from the detective. Traci had been relentless in trying to get Holly to come to one of their hang outs. And Gail did appreciate that Traci wanted to get to know Holly and make her feel like part of the group. But Gail wasn't ready yet. And Holly seemed in no rush to become indoctrinated into 15th division.

_**Gail Peck 3:13pm: Nice try Nash. Holly's mine tonight.** _

Once she hit send Gail realized how that might have sounded. But found that she didn't care so much if it was taken the wrong way.

"Are you aware your smirk is particularly devious right now?" Holly asked looking up from her book.

"I'm aware."

"Which of your friends are you tormenting now?" Holly inquired though there was no judgment in her voice.

"Traci. She wants me to go to the Penny tonight. I told her I already have plans with you." Gail replied tossing her phone aside.

"Inviting yourself to stay over again Officer? Mighty presumptuous." Gail knew that Holly was teasing but that didn't mean she didn't feel that slight nag that she might be bothering Holly. As if reading her look Holly abandoned her book on the coffee table and grabbed Gail's hand. "You know you're welcome here Gail."

"Are you sure?"

"If you want to be here then there is nowhere else I want you to be. Though you do work tomorrow and unless your uniform is now invisible you're going to have to pick it up." Holly said watching Gail groan at the thought. If she went over to her apartment then she was going to have to face Chris and/or Dov and neither of them would let her live down the fact that she had spent the night at Holly's.

"I think I have a spare in my locker at work." Gail was pretty sure she did.

"Gail, go get your uniform and bring it here. I'll make dinner."

"Ooh, what're you making?" Gail's entire demeanor changed at the promise of food.

"I'll figure it out. I'll need to go to the store."

"Just remember..."

"No tomatoes and you hate eggs. I know." Holly interrupted before she stood up and walked to the kitchen. Gail watched her go, a look of astonishment on her face though she didn't know why she was surprised. Holly remembered stuff like that, even if she had only mentioned it in passing Holly would remember. She and Nick were together for years and he forgot constantly about things like that. The thought that Holly took the effort to remember things like that made Gail smile.

* * *

Gail pushed open the door to her apartment and listened, hoping that she might have managed to arrive when the place was empty. There was no sound of TV or video games echoing through the living room. Walking quickly from the door into her room Gail closed the door and began collecting the things that she would need for her shift. Her uniform hung in her closet and she folded it into her duffle bag before she heard the door to her room open. Dov stood with his arms crossed and a shit eating grin on his face. Chris stood behind him eyebrow raised expectantly.

"What?" Gail asked in her usual biting tone.

"How's Holly?" Dov asked implication dripping from his tone. She knew very well what they thought had happened the night before. And the thought of them thinking about it raised Gail's protectiveness of Holly. She didn't want her roommates imagining the two of them together, even if Dov and Chris were guys and they couldn't help it.

"She's fine. She's making me dinner tonight." Gail boasted.

"Found her way to your heart did she?"

"She didn't need to make me food to do that." Gail answered automatically her eyes widening when she realized what she'd said. But her friend's beaming expressions told her that they were happy for her. For all the teasing and crap that they gave her they did care if she was happy or not.

"We're happy for you Gail." Chris offered. Gail fought back the snarky response that she normally would have said. Instead she just smiled gratefully at the two guys who had come to mean a lot to her.

"I better go. She's waiting." Shoving past them Gail shouldered her go bag and walked to the door.

"We'll see you tomorrow." Dov called exchanging knowing looks with Chris.

* * *

Holly ducked under the yellow police tape, her forensic kit seeming heavier than normal. But she could attribute that to the late hour. The fact that it had been a phone call that had woken her up when she would have been much happier to remain in bed curled around Gail. It was another body, same MO as the first one they found and they needed her to do the autopsy and the forensic analysis because she knew the details of the first case better than anyone.

"Hey Holly, thanks for coming." Traci said looking just as tired as Holly felt. Only difference was that Holly would have bet that Traci hadn't gotten any sleep.

"Who'd rather be sleeping when they could be hovering over a dead body?" Holly replied kneeling over the body and looking for the tell-tale incision that had marked the first body.

"Same as the first one?"

"Looks like it. Same incision anyway. But that is where the similarities end. Victim is totally different than the first one, female, early twenties." Holly pulled out her flash light and went about making her initial observations about the body.

"Killer's changing his MO? They don't usually do that do they?" Traci asked curiously. Truthfully, as morbid as it was she was kind of excited at the prospect that this might be a serial killer. The prestige that would come along with catching the killer alone was like an endorphin rush.

"Statistically? Not usually."

"This one had a wallet on her though. Gretchen Sanders." Luke said coming to join them.

"I need to get her back to the morgue. She hasn't been dead long. An hour, maybe two tops."

"Keep us informed."

Holly watched as the body was loaded into the coroners van. She couldn't shake the sinking feeling that was filling her gut. It was the kind of feeling that came when something big was about to happen, something bad.


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry this chapter took so long. It kind of got away from me and ended up being waaay longer than planned. Also, just a warning this chapter is rated M. But if that isn't your cup of tea just skip over the last bit of the chapter.**

**Standard Disclaimers apply, I don't own the characters or Rookie Blue.**

Chapter Three

Gail listened to the casual conversations happening around her while the all gathered in the munitions locker to get their service weapons for the day. She wasn't really listening, she was too distracted to actually care what they were talking about. Her mind still circling around Holly having to leave in the middle of the night and how much that bothered her. She wasn't angry, she understood that sometimes in the jobs that they did weird hours were to be expected and emergencies to come up. Gail understood that on a cognitive level. But that didn't stop it from sucking any less. She woke up to an empty bed that Holly was supposed to be in.

"Gail? You okay? You look off." It was Dov who finally pointed it out to Gail as they were lining up to test fire their guns.

"I'm fine." Gail replied instinctively. The words were too familiar, she'd said them enough times that usually they came out before she could even think about it.

"Everything okay with Holly?" He pressed. She knew he was just trying to be a friend so Gail tried to temper back the retort that was so ready to be spat out.

"She got called into work last night." Gail offered knowing that he was not going to give in if she didn't tell him.

"That's rough." Chris chimed in.

"Wait a minute! You're sleeping at Holly's now?" Andy exclaimed louder than was necessary given the small room and several other officers turned and looked at them. Gail blushed a deep red and glared at Andy.

"Jesus McNally! Does the concept of privacy mean _anything_ to you?" Gail demanded.

"Sorry. I just didn't know your relationship had gotten to that point." Andy said with the decency to look actually contrite for her complete lack of discretion.

"Why would you know?" Gail countered her eyes narrowing.

"We're friends. Friends tell each other things." Andy mumbled looking away nervously. Maybe she had overestimated how much Gail had forgiven her. Gail didn't know why she suddenly took pity on the brunette.

"We aren't. I just spend the night over there some times. To be close to her. That's all." Openness was new to Gail. And if she was completely honest it wasn't always easy, and often times was like trying to swim against a harsh current. Her first thought was always to close up. Most people trusted their friends when it came to things like feelings and relationships. Andy liked to tell anyone who would listen about her relationships and how she felt. But that wasn't how Gail operated. She liked to keep things close to the vest.

"That's really sweet."

"Yeah. So is sharing time over? We're going to be late for parade."

_**Gail Peck 10:08am: This is all your fault.** _

_**Holly Stewart 10:09am: What's my fault?** _

_**Gail Peck 10:11am: Dov and Chris know that I've spent the night at your place and now it's all over the station.** _

_**Holly Stewart 10:15am: Sorry?** _

_**Gail Peck 10:15am: Make it up to me with lunch.** _

_**Holly Stewart 10:16am: Deal** _

Holly's gaze lingered on her phone as she played over the conversation that had just transpired between her and Gail. It amazed her how just a short conversation with Gail could bring a smile to her face and make her stomach flutter with excitement. Gail did that to her. Made her feel like a giddy school girl. It was a nice break from what she was having to deal with on her autopsy table. She'd finished the autopsy and sent the necessary samples out and she was writing up her reports.

Looking at the details of her notes, every detail the exact same as the first one. It was textbook. And there was nothing, no evidence she could find, no fibers, nothing that stood out that might help them find who was doing this. It frustrated her, she was good at solving puzzles. She was one of the best in fact. Hours went by and she looked over every detail again and again until she could recite it by memory.

"How can you still look that good after getting so little sleep?" Looking up from the files Holly saw Gail leaning casually against the doorway of the lab. For the first time in hours Holly smiled.

"A Gail Peck compliment? Wow. Be still my beating heart." Holly said locking her computer and standing up excited to be leaving her lab if even for just a minute.

"Well if that's the response I'm going to get when I give you one. Then it'll be the last compliment you get." Gail pushed off the door and walked into the lab determined to give her girlfriend a proper greeting. She'd surveyed the lab when she got there and noted that they were alone. Looping her arms around Holly's waist pulling the brunette towards her.

"Somehow I doubt that." Holly said with a smile drawing comfort from Gail's presence.

"You're probably right. So, I realized something about this morning when you left." There was a mischievous hint in Gail's tone that made Holly's smile grow.

"What's that?"

"You didn't give me a kiss goodbye. So the way I figure it you owe me two kisses. One to make up for the goodbye kiss I didn't get, and a proper hello kiss. Oh and they better be good too."

"I haven't had many complaints about my kisses so I can promise I'll do my best." Holly replied playfully bringing her hand up to cradle the back of Gail's neck and guide the blonde towards her.

The seconds that it took for their lips to meet felt like a small eternity. But then their lips touched and time didn't matter anymore. It could have stopped or it could have sped up Gail wasn't sure which. Gail's senses exploded with everything Holly. The way she felt, warm and firm against her own body. Holly's scent, traces of cinnamon and citrus with the faintest hint of disinfectant. Holly felt her back collide against her desk as Gail pressed closer to her.

"If we're going to spend our entire lunch break making out we should move this to my office." Holly insisted once they broke apart.

"As tempting as that is. I think that I should get you some food. You have been up since 2am. I doubt you've had more than coffee and I happen to like my girlfriend not passing out." The concern that Gail was showing warmed Holly's heart knowing that Gail cared. And that it wasn't common for Gail to show such concern for people.

"Is it wrong that I'd rather spend the time making out?" Truly conflicted over the issue Holly couldn't decide which should take precedence. Of course, the logical answer would be to eat something. Gail was right she hadn't eaten since she'd returned to the lab. And she was starving. But kissing Gail, just being with Gail also felt like a biological need.

"There will be plenty of time for that tonight after shift. Come on, let me buy you lunch."

"I thought I was supposed to be buying you lunch for the ridicule you had to endure." Holly followed Gail out of the lab keenly aware that Gail hadn't let go of her hand as they walked.

"We can just say you owe me one. Plus, it was totally worth it."

Lunch was just what Holly needed to help clear her head of the case that would have otherwise driven her insane. Sitting with Gail at a small table at a local café listening to Gail's day, different things happening at 15th division. They didn't talk about the case. Gail had a million questions, there were whispers going around the division about the possibility of it being a serial killer. Everyone was buzzing with gossip about it, if there was going to be a task force, who would be on the task force. There wasn't a single person who wasn't trying to suck up in some way to Traci and Luke to see if they would pick them. Holly had heard Traci talking about how many cups of coffee she'd been brought that morning alone by different uniforms.

"Chloe's coming back tomorrow. It's her first shift back." Gail said as they were finishing their lunch. Holly knew that Chloe wasn't Gail's favorite person but Gail was still concerned for her.

"That's exciting. How about Sam?"

"Andy says that he's still a week or two out from being cleared for duty."

"Still, he was lucky. They both were."

"Yeah. I don't want to think about what would have happened if they hadn't pulled through." Holly watched a cloud cross over Gail's face as the thought swept her up. Holly knew that Gail cared so deeply for the people she worked with. Even the people that she declared that she hated. If they hurt, Gail hurt with them. It was just how Gail was. And it was a pity that most of them didn't even know that.

"But they did. And soon you'll be back to riding with Chloe and having to deal with her talking your ear off." Holly teased seeing a grimace replace the sadness.

"On second thought, maybe she isn't ready. She should rest more right?"

After lunch Gail walked Holly back to the lab, she would be late back but she didn't care. She couldn't pull herself away from Holly. Only sad part was that there were lab tech's around when they returned so any hope of Gail getting another kiss before she went was thrown out the window. Instead they settled for a brief hug and a more than lingering look before Gail left the lab to return to work.

"Dr. Stewart the lab found something interesting." Zach said once Holly had pulled her lab coat back on and sat at her work station. The young assistant looked nervous as he held the file in front of him, his gaze darting around nervously.

"What did they find?" Holly asked pulling the file from his hands before he could hold it out to her. Her eyes skimmed the content of the report and then she looked at him her gaze was piercing. "This report was done almost thirty minutes ago. Why didn't you call me?"

"You were on lunch with Officer Peck." He stammered. In the time that he had been working with Holly he'd never had the brunette snap at him before.

"I don't care who I was having lunch with. Something like this, you interrupt me." Holly said lifting her phone to her ear, it was already mid ring and she was waiting for Traci to pick up.

"Sorry Dr. Stewart."

* * *

"Ilex aquifolium." Holly said holding out a photo of it for Traci and Luke to look at.

"Commonly known as holly?" Traci asked looking up from the photo.

"Toxicology came back and found that there were traces of the berries in the victim's stomach. The toxin carried in the plant isn't enough to be fatal. But it's enough to cause vomiting, general intestinal upset, the victim wouldn't have felt very good for a couple of days leading up to death." Holly explained seeing the gears turning in the detective's minds.

"So the killer makes them eat the berries before killing them. Some kind of ritualistic last meal or something?"

"That's not all. The heart is covered in spores from the plant. We didn't notice it on the first body because they are so tiny and we hadn't been looking for it. I'm having the lab re-run the toxicology on the first victim to see if it also contains holly."

"Any word back on the heart?"

"Belongs to the first victim. Cut the same way, the heart definitely does not belong to the woman currently on my autopsy table. DNA analysis confirms that it belongs to John Doe."

"What is the significance of the plant?"

"Maybe it will help narrow down where these murders are happening. What do we know about holly?"

"I'm not a botanist but I know that this particular species of the plant is native to Europe. It would need to be cultivated here if it was expected to thrive. With it being so far away from Christmas there isn't a whole lot of demand for the plant." Holly offered. She didn't need to stick around but since she hadn't been dismissed and they seemed to all be tossing ideas around she thought it would be a good idea to stay. See if she could help in some way. If not gain some sort of insight as to what the detectives knew.

"So we'll pull up any companies or private growers who grow this stuff and see if we can find a link."

Once Luke retreated to his desk already pulling up their search query. Traci turned her attention to Holly, the two women looked equally exhausted and were working on about the same amount of sleep. They had both been working pretty much nonstop since they had gotten the call with a wave of her hand Traci and Holly ventured out of the detective offices and walked to the coffee maker.

"This case is driving me crazy." Traci commented leaning against a nearby desk and looking at Holly. Holly accepted the cup of coffee and took a generous sip. It was bitter, and it was strong, both of which Holly didn't usually like in her coffee but she needed it if she hoped to survive the day.

"I'm sorry I can't help more." Holly offered.

"No, Holly you're doing great. You're doing the best you can and have given us a lot of information that could lead us somewhere." Traci reassured resting her hand on Holly's arm.

"Thanks."

"We're going to find him right?" Traci asked looking at Holly hopefully. Traci was still new to homicides, she'd handled a few but they had never been like this. Holly's entire career revolved around solving murders. Traci needed Holly to tell her that they would catch the guy that was doing this.

"They make mistakes eventually. Leave a hair or a fiber for us to find and then we're able to track down something about them. We just need him to make a mistake."

"What if he doesn't?"

"Then we pour over the evidence again, and again until we find something we missed. No murder is perfect. We've already found the holly. Hopefully that leads to something."

"One more and it's considered a serial." Holly didn't know if Traci was talking to herself or if she was trying to see what Holly felt about it.

"We don't know that yet. Let's just hope it doesn't get that far. I should get back to the lab."

"You should go home and get some sleep." Traci's tone had switched from professional to personal. She saw how Holly looked and it didn't look like just lack of sleep. It was something deeper rooted than sleep deprivation.

"I won't get any sleep. Might as well be at the lab getting something productive done. I'll see if I can get forensics to isolate anything unique about the plant. Maybe they can find a specific soil marker or something." Holly offered starting to walk away.

"They can do that?"

"Oh yeah, my guys can do anything."

"Good to know."

* * *

They didn't have to wait long until another body showed up. A week. And this body came with the added benefit of the press. Third body that turned up, strange circumstances of the death and no arrests caused a lot of attention. When Holly arrived at the scene there was a row of news vans and reporters standing just outside the yellow tape talking into their microphones. She'd dealt with this one before she knew to avoid eye contact and trust that the cops on the perimeter would do their job and keep the reporters from her. She just needed to do her job. Dov and Nick were managing to keep the more unruly of reporters from ducking under the tape but that didn't stop the slew of demanding questions that were being shouted at her.

"It's a circus up there." Holly commented when she came to the crime scene. Holly wished that the sight of the body surprised her but it looked like the other two. To the untrained eye, from a distance it would appear that the victim was sleeping. But Holly knew by the color on his face that he was dead.

"Yeah, there will be no stopping this now." Luke commented looking over his shoulder and seeing the different flashbulbs going off.

"Always wanted to be a celebrity." Holly offered dryly kneeling down next to the body. Conducting the initial report Holly reached out with her gloved fingers along the inside of the shirt pulling it aside to see the incision. It looked like the others. Angry and red. But all the blood had been washed away.

The victim was a man, early twenties, he might not have even turned twenty yet. And he looked every bit his age with a sweet looking baby face. His clothes were proper, white button up shirt that had once been ironed and starched to look perfect and black slacks. Professional looking. He'd come from work when he was taken. Holly felt a strong swell of sadness at the thought, getting off work, excited to be able to start his real life maybe go visit his girlfriend or come home to her. And then he was taken and cut up while he was still alive to feel every bit of pain. The thought made her stomach twist violently and for a moment Holly wasn't sure if she was going to be able to not throw up all over the crime scene.

Pushing herself off the ground Holly walked a few paces away from the body. Her sudden action drew the attention of everyone at the scene but no one said anything. They all knew what she must be feeling, they were probably feeling it too. The overwhelming sensation of being helpless. Someone was killing these people and had so far been able to get away with it. There was nothing that they were going to find on this body that was going to be able to narrow it down and point them to the killer.

"You okay?" Traci asked her hand on Holly's shoulder reminding her without words that she wasn't alone.

"I just uh…need a minute." Holly replied shaking her head trying to pull herself together.

"Take your time."

* * *

The parade room was buzzing with a sort of nervous energy that was understandable given the situation. It was fuller than normal, some officers who hadn't gotten there early were made to stand in the back and crowd into any open space they could find. Frank had called everyone in, even those who were off duty. He wanted everyone aware of what was happening. At the front of the room Frank stood with Traci and Luke flanking him. That wasn't unusual. What was strange about the situation as that Holly joined them. Leaning against the wall trying to make herself as unobtrusive as possible but made to be there nonetheless. Her own badge hanging front her belt as a sort of signal to the officers before her that she belonged there.

"Everyone listen up!" Frank called out. His booming voice silencing the room almost instantly. Everyone's eyes were now on him waiting on the edge of their seats to know why they had been summoned to parade. But that wasn't where Gail's focus was. As was quickly becoming a common thing whenever Holly was in the same room as her, Gail couldn't focus on anything else.

"Look, I don't know what it is you may have heard about the killings happening in our neighborhood. But I want to set the record straight. There has been three confirmed deaths associated with one perp." There was a series of murmurs around the parade room as those who didn't know about it shared their shock and their concern with their peers and those who did know about it had to insist they knew something was up.

"A serial killer sir?" One voice chimed in from somewhere in the back.

"We don't want to jump to any conclusions. We're hoping to catch this guy before he can do it again. But as of yet we haven't gotten any leads. Forensics have done all they can combing over all of the evidence. Now it's time to do our part and track this son of a bitch down. We have ID's on the second two victims but the first is still unknown. That is our first priority is finding out who the first victim is. Second priority will be finding out how these people are connected. They have to be connected in some way for the killer to have contact with each of them. What do they have in common? Do they know each other? How could the killer have singled out each of them? We'll be splitting you up into different units. First unit will be with Detective Nash and I, the other two units will be assigned detectives to report to." Luke jumped in. He could see the way that each of them were all chomping at the bit thinking how glamourous and how glorious it would be to be on the task force that caught 15th divisions first serial killer in decades.

"Dr. Stewart will be our liaison with the forensics lab. She'll be telling us what we know." Traci said introducing Holly. Holly pushed off the lab and looked at the board behind her where there were a series of pictures of the crime scenes and different copies of reports she knew by heart. When she turned to the crowded parade room her eyes found Gail and for just the briefest of moments they shared a look.

"We don't know a whole lot. We know that the victims are alive when he starts to cut into them. In each case the cause of death has been extreme blood loss from severing the venae cava and the coronary arteries. Death at that point is immediate. In all three cases the heart was then removed. In the first victim, his body contained a heart of unknown origin. The second victim contained the heart of the first and so on." Holly explained. Normally Holly hated talking in front of large groups of people. It made her uncomfortable. She could barely handle giving a deposition in court. But now, standing in this room she wasn't talking all of them. She was talking to Gail. That's where her focus was. And the blonde knew it.

"Do we know what he does with the hearts once their removed?" Nick asked curiously.

"No. Only that we've found plant particles on the heart. Transfer from wherever he's doing this. We're trying to find a specific strain of plant that might narrow this down." Holly answered. She still didn't like him.

"I don't have to tell you guys how important it is that we handle this quickly. The media has already picked up on this. Lots of cameras and lots of attention. You are not to speak to reporters unless it is to say "no comment" is that clear?" There was a murmur of affirmative throughout the room. "See the board for your assignments."

The room emptied as officers checked to see where their names were on the board and which unit they'd been assigned. Gail didn't know if she was excited or if she was mildly annoyed that she was placed in the unit with everyone Andy, Dov, Chris, Nick, Oliver and Chloe. That was the downside. The upside was that was the main unit. The unit led by Traci and Luke.

"Everyone in first unit please remain in the parade room." Luke called before they left.

Once the large room was emptied Luke circled around to close the door. The small group of officers congregated towards the front of the room eager for their assignments.

"We need to get ahead of this. So far this guy has managed to kill three people in three weeks. That's one kill every seven days. And we are no closer to catching him." Luke commented though it didn't need saying. They all knew the time frame.

"How do we go about doing that sir?" Dov asked always eager to be the first to jump in. Gail rolled her eyes.

"We start by tracking down who the first victim is. He's got to be someone important. He is the only victim that the killer took the ID off of. The other two had their wallets on them when we found their bodies. Diaz and Collins I want you on missing persons reports. Someone's got to be looking for this guy. McNally and Peck I want you on tracking down any suppliers and growers of holly in this area." That caught Gail's attention and she startled as if she'd been smacked across the face with the words.

"Holly sir?"

"That's the plant residue that was found on the victims. It's not native to Toronto so it's got to be grown in nurseries or in specialized environments." Holly could feel Gail's eyes burning into her. Holly hadn't told her about this part and it was for the exact reason that Gail was experiencing now. The fact that Holly's namesake was the plant that was on these victims had not escaped the doctor's notice.

"What about Chloe and I?" Dov asked.

"You are going to go over every registered Medical Examiner, Coroner, and Pathologist. Look for those who have been terminated recently or anything out of the ordinary." The confusion was evident on the officer's faces so Holly jumped in to explain.

"We think that whoever is doing this is medically trained. Probably a ME or coroner because the way the heart was removed is exactly how a ME would do it."

"Where do you want me?" Oliver asked.

"You're supervising these guys." Frank said finding a smirk pulling at his face at the thought. He knew that most of them thought of Oliver as a sort of father figure to them and he liked watching the way Oliver worked with the rookies. They listened to him in ways they never would listen to Frank.

Holly was aware that Gail was following her before she even thought to pause. She knew enough of her girlfriend to know the sound of her footsteps when she was angry. And then the way that Gail grabbed her arm pulling her into the nearest empty room and closed the door Holly knew she was about to get an earful.

"Why didn't you tell me about the holly?" Gail demanded once the door clicked shut.

"It's a recent development. And I know what you're thinking and it has nothing to do with me." Holly promised trying to be reassuring but she could see the storm in Gail's eyes and knew that nothing she could say would convince Gail otherwise.

"You don't know that!" Gail exclaimed.

"Why would this be about me? It's coincidence Gail. Traci and Luke think that this guy has some weird Christmas fetish or something." Holly reached for Gail putting her hands on each of Gail's shoulder and feeling the roughness of Gail's uniform. Gail was tense Holly could tell.

"I just…" Gail started clearly not being able to articulate what it was she wanted to say. She couldn't find the words to describe the sick feeling that filled her stomach. It had honestly been just a passing thought when they were in parade. She'd thought that the fact that the plant and Holly shared the same name was unsettling. But it opened a floodgate in her of all this worry that Gail hadn't known she felt. It gave her mind permission to start spinning scenario's and what-if's.

"You just what?" Holly asked her voice dropping into the compassionate and loving tone Gail had first heard the night of the shooting. And it was now the only thing that could get Gail to open up about how she was feeling without the blonde putting up a fight.

"It made me worry."

"Worry about what?"

"You're not allowed to get hurt okay." Gail huffed looking down, she couldn't look at Holly. Already her codependence on Holly was something that her mother would shame her for until the end of time but Gail didn't care.

"Honey look at me." Holly requested waiting until Gail looked up. The blonde was fidgeting, filled with a nervous energy that made her seem to bounce. Holly knew that this was hard for Gail. Gail was revealing how concerned she was about Holly. It was beyond sweet. But Holly could tell that this was something that was actually freaking Gail out. And while Holly would normally have made a joke or tried to alleviate the tension somehow Holly knew that would only made Gail withdraw into her shell.

"You mean too much to me." Gail whispered her eyes still downcast.

"Gail, nothing is going to happen to me. We're going to catch this guy, well, you're going to catch this guy and I'm going to help. And then we'll go back on with our lives." Holly promised pulling Gail into her. Gail was the type of person that wasn't always in the mood for hugs. Holly learned that very quickly. There were times when Gail would return a hug but only because she knew Holly wanted it, there were times when Gail would squirm until she was out of the embrace, and then there were other times like these. They were few and far between but Gail would just melt into Holly's arms until it seemed like her entire body weight was being held up by Holly's arms. And Holly didn't mind one bit.

"Yeah we're going to do that." Gail agreed nodding against Holly's shoulder. She couldn't believe how worked up she was getting over a what-if. She'd dated two cops who went out onto the streets with Kevlar strapped to their chests and she had never been as worried about them as she was about Holly and Holly wasn't even in any real danger. It was unnerving. Gail felt like she couldn't breathe the more she thought about it. "God this is disgusting."

Laughing at Gail's sudden mood shift Holly let Gail move out of her arms and rest against the wall but they were still close. Holly didn't think that Gail would let Holly stray too far away. At least not in this moment. But Gail's comment about her emotions being disgusting was more of the Gail that Holly was familiar with. Feeling her cell phone buzz briefly in her pocket Holly pulled the device from her jeans and looked at it.

"It's the lab. Zach thinks he might have found something." Holly explained not wanting to leave Gail in such a vulnerable state. It would take Gail some time before her armor was fully back up and she was ready to face the rest of the world.

"I'm fine. Go." Gail insisted. Holly hesitated knowing that Gail was putting on a brave face for her.

"He can wait."

"The faster we solve this thing the faster we can get back on with our lives. So go, and I'll see you back at your place tonight?" It had become a routine that Gail would spend the night at Holly's. They were both accustomed to it. Holly didn't think she'd ever shared the same bed with someone so much without having had sex. But she was in no rush. And she definitely didn't want to push Gail into something she wasn't ready for.

"Okay." Holly placed a lingering kiss against Gail's lips before leaving Gail in the room. Gail took a minute to collect herself before she went back into the heart of 15th division. No one mentioned anything about her absence like she'd been afraid that they might. Instead Andy handed her what would be her stack of leads to track down. There were dozens and it would probably take the rest of their shift just to go through the suppliers.

* * *

Holly was lost in some samples that Zach had brought her to look at when she heard the sound of someone entering the lab. From the corner of her eye Holly saw that whoever it was must be a cop, the navy pants and the police issue boots were a dead giveaway. Lifting her gaze up from her microscope Holly saw that it was Oliver standing before her. She hadn't had a whole lot of dealings with Oliver professionally but she knew that Gail respected the man a great deal and that spoke volumes to Holly.

"Officer Shaw, what can I do for you?" Holly asked cordially. The older man shifted awkwardly and for a moment he averted his gaze.

"It's not business Doc. I was wondering if you had a minute. I wanna talk to you about our girl." Oliver asked.

"Is Gail okay?" Holly asked catching his usage of 'our girl'. It wasn't jealousy that filled her but a sort of warm comfort that told her that there was someone that had Gail's back when she was out putting herself in danger.

"Oh yeah she's fine. She's over there running down leads. It's kinda delicate what I wanna talk to you about." Holly's interest was definitely peaked when she gestured for Oliver to sit but he refused. She guessed he felt better if he had the option to pace.

"Okay."

"I always joke with the rookies I train that I'll give two 'Officer Shaw talks' as part of my training officer duties. One happens on their first day. The second talk isn't for them. It's for the people that they date." Oliver explained. Holly's eyebrow rose in silent question wondering where this talk was headed and how many of them she was expecting to get. With most of Gail's friends and family being cops Holly had guessed she'd get a few 'if you hurt her I'll kill you and hide your body' talks. But something about this told Holly there was more to it.

"Peck likes to keep people at a distance, she has a hard exterior but she has this huge heart that I've had the chance to see a few times and boy I'll tell you each time I see it it's like a punch in the gut you know? We're not supposed to have favorites with our trainee's and all of them are special in their own right. But Peck, she's definitely something." Oliver paused, laughing to himself at the cheesiness of what he was saying but Holly didn't interrupt. Even though she wanted to tell him that she knew that about Gail. "I didn't have to do this with Diaz or Collins because I didn't worry about her with them. She wasn't as invested in them, not like she is with you. Man, the way she looks at you it's like the Earth and the Moon revolve around you."

"Are you giving me the protective friend speech because Oliver I-." Holly started.

"No it's not that. This job that we do, we know the risks. We go out there every day and we know that there is a chance that we might not make it back. And that takes a helluva toll on the people that we love. I just, I guess I need to know that you're okay with that. That you'll stick with her through that." Oliver finished, taking a deep breath and looking at Holly as his words sank into her mind.

"I'll never be okay with the danger she puts herself in every day Oliver. I would like to say that I can make peace with it. But I won't. I'm going to worry like crazy about her when she's out during patrol. But that isn't going to scare me away from her. Gail is amazing, every aspect of her, including the part where she is a cop."

"Okay good." Oliver said with a smile.

"So, protective partner talk over?" Holly asked.

"Yup I think so. See ya Doc." Oliver waved and made for the door. He loved all the rookies that he'd helped train in some way but he'd always felt closest with Gail. He couldn't explain it, but whenever they were partnered up together those were his favorite shifts. Even when they were being shot at and his concern had gone immediately to keeping her safe instead of himself he knew that she had his back. He had hers and she had his and that was what made it perfect.

"Hey Oliver." Holly called out just as Oliver got to the door. He turned quickly and saw Holly looking equal parts like she was going to hyperventilate and also like she was unbelievably happy. "Thank you for taking care of her. I feel a lot better knowing that you have her back. And I appreciate the talk, but I'm in love with her. And if that means I need to spend a few sleepless nights worried out of my mind about her so that I can spend as long as I can with her. So be it."

It took a moment for the gravity of her words to sink into her own mind. She'd just told Oliver that she loved Gail. Part of her had known that for a while. It had been slowly growing since the day that they met but she'd never said the word out loud or to herself. It was both terrifying and exciting.

"You should tell her that darlin'." And with that sage advice he was gone.

_**Holly Stewart 11:03am: You have the best partner in the world.** _

_**Gail Peck 11:05am: Oliver? What'd he do?** _

_**Holly Stewart 11:06am: Funny you knew exactly who I meant. He cares about you.** _

_**Gail Peck 11:06am: What. Did. He. Do?** _

_**Holly Stewart 11:07am: Something about the second of the Oliver Shaw talks.** _

Gail looked down at her phone for a minute and then up at the man in question. He was talking with Traci at the coffee counter laughing his usual jovial laugh. She wanted to be angry at him, prickly even because that's what Gail would have done pre-Holly. She'd be offended by how he had dared to presume to interfere with her personal life. But she wasn't. Oliver was her favorite and a surrogate father and mentor if anyone had a right to butt into her personal life it was him.

_**Gail Peck 11:15am: Gonna tell me what he said?** _

_**Holly Stewart 11:16am: Nope.** _

Holly was packing her things up for the night, she was due to pick Gail up from the station so that they could go home when Zach walked into the lab. From the looks of him he had every intention of continuing to work even though he'd worked just as long as she had. They were both exhausted and as far as she knew there was nothing else for them to go over. All the evidence had been checked and double checked and was now submitted to the detectives for them to go over.

"Zach go home." Holly insisted.

"I just want to go over a few more things. I'll head out soon." He replied bashfully.

"You don't get any bonus points for running yourself into the ground Zach. I need a fully functioning assistant. Go home and get some rest and we'll start again fresh tomorrow okay?" She had to admire his dedication. It mirrored her own. No matter the time of day or the length of shift Zach never complained about it. If he continued on this way he would make a hell of a pathologist one day.

"Are you heading home?"

"That's the plan. I'm exhausted."

"Have a good night Dr. Stewart."

"Zach, I've told you a million times. Call me Holly." Holly said walking past him to the door not seeing the way his eyes followed her as she went.

* * *

Holly leaned against the side of her car waiting for Gail to exit the station. Phone out and playing some mindless game that would help take her mind off of the stressful days she had been going through. Gail had texted saying she was running a little behind but that she would be out in a few minutes which was why Holly didn't bother going into the station. No point in going through all the hoops it would take to get through the front desk. But when Holly looked up and saw Gail walking out with her friends Holly quickly guessed that her dream of a quiet night curled up with her girlfriend on the couch was quickly being replaced by something that would take considerably more of her energy.

"Hey Holly." Chris greeted her first. He always tried to make her feel included in the group for which she appreciated him immensely. She nodded her greeting but her attention was on Gail, her blonde girlfriend looked guilty. Her head down and eye averted.

"Gail said you guys are coming to the Penny with us tonight." Dov announced excitedly. He'd been itching to try and best Holly at trivia. If she was really as smart as Gail boasted then it would be a good chance for him to stretch his skills.

"We are?" Holly asked wondering what had caused Gail's sudden change of heart over the whole not hanging out with her friends yet. Gail glanced up at Holly, trying to gauge if she was mad or not. She couldn't read Holly's expressions. Not as easily as Holly seemed to be able to read hers.

"I thought it'd be nice. We've all been really stressed out lately. I thought it'd be nice." Gail muttered.

"Okay." Holly acquiesced with a shrug. She was excited to be able to spend time with Gail's friends, her family really, she just wished she'd had more warning to mentally prepare. Once they were in the car Holly could feel Gail's eyes on her.

"I'm sorry I didn't give you more warning. It was a last minute thing." Gail explained rushed.

"It's okay Gail. I'm glad that you want me to hang out with them." Holly offered taking Gail's hand and squeezing it affectionately.

"You aren't mad?"

"Why would I be mad?" Holly didn't understand Gail's persistent fear that whatever she did in their relationship would be wrong.

"I don't know." Gail sighed defeated. She fell back into the passenger seat with a huff.

"I was just surprised that you had a change of heart that's all. You seemed pretty adamant before that you didn't want all of us to hang out until you were more comfortable."

"I know. And I still am a little worried about it. But I think we all need this. And this way it'll get them off my back about meeting you in a non-professional capacity."

With an unspoken agreement that they weren't going to talk about anything work related while they socialized they all congregated around a large table at the Penny. Each with drink in hand and genuine smiles on their faces. Having Holly there gave them all something new to talk about. Gail sat beside Holly, their hands linked under the table, unlike Chloe and Dov who were constantly showering one another with public displays of affection both Holly and Gail were alright with being more discrete about it.

"So Holly do you have any family in town? Are they all Doctors too?" Chloe asked excitedly. It seemed she was almost more excited that Holly was there than Holly or Gail was.

"I'm the only doctor in the family. My brother lives in Toronto and works for the District Attorney's office." Holly answered.

"Wait, is your brother Thomas Stewart?" Steve asked looking at Holly as if she'd conspired to keep such a secret from him. Gail looked between her brother and Holly, confusion painted across her pale features.

"My twin brother yeah." Holly said taking a sip of her drink. She hoped this was where the conversation would end. There were things about her family that she didn't want to go into at a table full of people she just met. But from the look on Steve's face he knew what it was that she didn't want to go into and thankfully let the conversation die there.

"You have a twin brother?" Gail asked wondering how she didn't know that. It always filled her with a sense of sadness when she realized the amount of information she didn't know about her girlfriend.

"You've seen pictures of him all over my house. We're pretty close but work keeps us busy." Holly replied trying to make Gail feel better that Gail didn't know.

"Do you guys look alike? I mean I know you're fraternal twins but you've got to look a little bit alike right?" Chloe continued in the same excitement that Gail had once found annoying. But after going so long without it she found that she kind of missed it.

"We have the same color hair and eyes. But that's pretty much where our similarities end. He's like 6 foot 3. Kinda towers over everyone." Holly laughed.

"We should have dinner with him sometime." Gail commented casually. Everyone at the table recognized the significance of the suggestion. Gail was trying to make it sound like it wasn't a big deal by mentioning it in a public setting. But it was huge. And they all knew it.

"Sure. I'll look at our schedules." "Holly replied with a bright smile.

Conversation continued on around them but for a moment Holly and Gail were in their own world. Something monumental shifted between them and they would have had to be blind not to see it. Holly's thumb traced patterns on Gail's thigh, scratching gently and feeling the faint tremor that went through Gail's entire body at the intimate touch.

Things between them had reached a stage where there was only one place left to go physically but neither of them knew when they should take that step. Even the most innocent of kisses turned heated whether they intended it to or not. Gail didn't know what it was that was stopping her. She wanted Holly, more than she could ever remember wanting anyone. Every time Holly touched her it was like a small electrical shock through her entire body. Holly set her body aflame like Gail had never experienced before.

Gail knew Holly was well aware of the affect she was having on the blonde, the playful smirk that pulled at the corner of Holly's lips was evidence enough. But Gail didn't mind. She just let herself enjoy it. So if that meant her mind went a little hazy around the edges and it wasn't due to the alcohol Gail was just fine with that.

"Gail? You okay? You look a little zoned out." Traci commented concern more than anything. Gail looked up sharply, she'd been busy running her thumb over the building condensation on her glass.

"I'm fine. Oliver just walked in I'm going to go say hi." Gail said pushing off her seat. Holly looked up inquisitively and then Gail leaned down and pressed a kiss to Holly's temple. There were a few "awe's" that circulated around the table as Gail walked away.

Oliver turned when he saw Gail coming towards him, extending his arms in the way that he did when he saw her coming. Half the time Gail didn't know if he was actually going to hug her or not so she stayed just out of reach of his arms. Leaning against the bar Gail turned to face Oliver, her eyes narrowed in a sort of playful glare that only Gail could pull off.

"What'd I do?" Oliver asked taking a gulp from his beer.

"Holly told me that you had the talk with her." Gail saw a faint blush cross over Oliver's face.

"Busted. She wasn't supposed to tell you."

"We tell each other everything."

"That's good. That's the key to a successful relationship."

"What'd you say to her?" Gail looked back at the table. Holly was laughing at something Chloe had said, her head thrown back and smile as bright as the sun. It was a beautiful sight and for a moment Gail forgot everything else. Oliver followed Gail's gaze to the table and he didn't bother fighting the proud smile that came to his face.

"It looks good on you." He said instead of answering her question.

"What does?"

"Happiness. She makes you happy."

"Like I didn't think was possible." Gail confessed looking up at Oliver. Gail was often conflicted about what to do when it came to telling Oliver things. She always wanted to. But confiding in anyone about her feelings was always hard. Still, Oliver was her partner, she trusted that he had her back just like she would always have his.

"Good. I'm happy for you."

"What did you say to her?"

"I told her that you were a pain in the ass. That you were stubborn, and bullheaded. But that you had a good heart." Oliver saw Gail smile at the strange way the insults that he dealt her were veiled compliments.

"Trust me, she knows that."

"You're right, she probably does."

"Go back over there kiddo. Go spend time with your girl she's looking kind of lonely."

Gail walked back to the table and fell into her seat, her hand sliding across Holly's leg. The brunette looked over at Gail and then back to the conversation she was having with Andy about some running trail or another. Everyone seemed to be getting along, alcohol loosened tongues until they were sharing laughter more than they were sharing words.

As the night wound down the group parted ways and Holly and Gail returned to Holly's place. Gail was still bubbly, the alcohol in her system making her bolder than she would normally have been. As they walked up to Holly's door the brunette was acutely aware of Gail's hand on her bare back having slipped under the fabric of her shirt as they walked. It wasn't easy to ignore it but Holly kept the mantra of the fact that Gail was still drunk.

"Hey Holly?" The blonde asked looking up from the bed where Holly had laid her. Holly was in the process of pulling off Gail's boots and dropping them onto the floor.

"Hmm?" Gail had all but commandeered a pair of Holly's pajamas when she first started regularly spending the night at Holly's. She had the opportunity to go get her own pajamas from her place but she was fond of the slightly oversized flannel pajama pants that were a deep red and a white tank top. Simple, but they always smelt like Holly.

"I'm glad that my friends like you." Gail sighed, she spoke it in such a sing song voice Holly had no doubt that Gail would not be loving life in the morning. She made a mental note to prepare a glass of water and two aspirin on the nightstand.

"I like them too." Holly replied helping Gail sit up. Gail was being difficult on purpose. Holly had seen the blonde function quite well after drinking more. But it seemed Gail liked having Holly take care of her. And Holly didn't mind, Gail was adorable when she was like this.

"More than me?" Gail pouted.

"No." Holly drew out the word fighting back the laugh that threatened to tumble from her lips.

"Good."

"Alright you're going to have to change your own clothes babe. Otherwise I might be tempted to take advantage." Though her words were spoken in jest there was no doubt that there was a bit of seriousness behind Holly's words. Gail seemed to sober up all of a sudden, the slightly dreamy smile that had been a permanent fixture on her face most of the night faded into something more serious.

"Do you want me Holly?" Gail asked quietly. Gail didn't normally move slowly in relationships. She was comfortable with physical intimacy and she often times used it to distract the people she dated from the lack of emotional intimacy. She'd never been in a relationship where the emotional intimacy came first. It was unnerving.

"Very much." Holly offered honestly.

"I want you too. More than I think I've ever wanted anyone." Gail's words sent a shiver down Holly's spine. Gail wanted her. Even if she knew it based on Gail's actions and the number of times she had caught Holly staring at her. Hearing the words made them that much more real.

"We have time. Whenever you're ready. And you're not drunk."

"I'm not." Gail insisted feebly.

"Well you definitely aren't sober."

"But I want you." The pout was back and damn if it wasn't effective. Holly made herself turn away while she searched her dresser for a pair of pajamas for herself.

"Let's get some sleep Gail." Holly ventured into the bathroom to change after switching the overhead light off in her bedroom leaving only the night table light on. When Holly returned from the bathroom Gail was already fast asleep curled up on Holly's side of the bed hugging Holly's pillow to her chest.

* * *

Holly's eyes snapped open, consciousness sending a battering ram through her slumber in the form of pulsing arousal centering on the throbbing between her legs. She was turned on. Her entire body tingled with it, skin flush and breath coming quickly as her body responded of its own volition. It took Holly a moment to force her higher brain functions to figure out why she was feeling like this. She didn't usually wake up in such a condition. And that was when she felt it. A hand, and more specifically two fingers thumb and forefinger were under her t-shirt and teasing her nipple. In her sleep Gail had somehow managed to begin fondling Holly working her up into quite a state.

"Gail." Holly choked out. She needed Gail to stop, as good as it felt and the bliss that was sure to follow should she selfishly allow Gail to continue her actions, she needed it to stop. This wasn't how she wanted this to happen and she didn't want Gail to wake up and freak out. Back arching off the mattress Holly bit back a groan as Gail's response to her name being said was to pinch Holly's nipple less than gently but no less pleasurable.

She could feel her entire body trembling, she needed to get out of bed and away from Gail but her body wasn't moving. Pushing against Gail's shoulder trying to get the blonde to roll away from her Holly hoped that might be enough to wake Gail. When Gail's eyes opened wide, surprised at the sudden jostling movement she looked at Holly and then down where her hand was. Her movements stopped instantly but she didn't withdraw her hand. Not right away. She was touching Holly's breast, feeling the softness of the skin beneath her fingertips.

"Hi." Gail said softly her hand not moving though her fingers stopped. Holly looked over at Gail, seeing the contended smile that she'd only ever seen when Gail had just woken up. Gail was so beautiful in the morning, with her defenses completely down.

"Hey."

"You're so soft." Gail commented her hand moving away from Holly's breast down along Holly's rib cage hearing Holly gasp.

"Is this your way of getting back at me for last night?" There was no accusation in Holly's tone, Gail could tell that Holly was teasing her. This was a dangerous game.

"Why would I want to get back at you? You took care of me in my drunken state." Gail replied replacing her fingertips with her nails enjoying the reaction that it inspired.

"For putting the brakes on. I just don't want to rush things. Do something you aren't ready for." Holly reasoned.

"I know. I know you're more patient than I deserve." Gail couldn't explain the uncontrollable urge she had to get closer to Holly. There was barely two inches between them and it felt like a mile. She wanted to be closer, to feel Holly pressed tightly against her. Subconsciously her body moved forward until she felt the firmness of Holly's side. The warmth she found there.

"You deserve the world Gail. I can be patient with you as long as you need." Holly believed those words, and she would keep as still as possible no matter how potent the arousal that pumped through her veins was. No matter how much she wanted to turn and kiss Gail senseless, memorize the way that Gail's skin felt, learning the ways to touch Gail that would make her moan make her whimper, make her want more.

"What if I don't want you to be patient anymore? What if I want you to touch me?" Gail asked in a low purr.

"God Gail." Holly groaned, pure want dominating her brain functions. She could barely remember how to breathe. Gail knew how to seduce, she knew how she could make Holly want to rip her clothes off.

"I like the sounds you make." Gail whispered her lips ghosting along Holly's jaw line. "Don't ask me if I'm sure. I'm a big girl. I know what I'm doing, I know I've never wanted anyone more than I want you right now. Let me tell you a secret." Gail said her attitude changing so swiftly it took a moment for Holly's mind to catch up. Gail propped her elbow against the mattress and rested her head on the palm of her hand looking down at Holly.

"Tell me." Holly prompted when her brain finally caught up.

"I lost my virginity when I was 15. Stupid high school party, in the guy's bedroom. Wasn't great, was barely enjoyable in fact but I learned then that sex can distract from intimacy. No one wanted to talk when I was offering them uncomplicated and pretty mind blowing sex." Gail paused laughing softly at herself as she explained this to Holly. She didn't know why she was telling Holly this, except that she felt like she needed to. She needed Holly to understand why she was making this decision.

"Pretty confident of yourself Officer." Holly teased her ardor cooling slowly since she was given something else to pay attention to.

"Oh please, I'm amazing at sex."

"I believe you."

"Anyway, I've had a lot of sex. And it's fine and it distracts from all the emotional stuff I don't like to deal with. But…" Gail stopped herself, looking at Holly her blue eyes shining with vulnerability.

"Why are you telling me this Gail?" Holly asked. It wasn't that she didn't mind hearing about Gail's past. But this was an odd time to do it. Normally those conversations came later.

"I've never made love before Holly." Gail said in a rush. "I've had sex before but I've never been with someone that I care this much about."

Holly took in Gail's words knowing how hard it was for the blonde to have confessed such a thing. It looked like it was something that Gail was ashamed up though Holly couldn't imagine while Gail would be. It also gave this moment, this potential moment between them so much more significant.

"I've never been with someone that I've felt so connected with."

"And that's okay Gail."

"I just wanted you to know. This, all of this, it's new to me. Every part of it."

"You're worth the wait." Four words. That's all it took to completely crash through any residual doubts that Gail had in her mind that Holly was the one she'd been waiting for. Leaning down Gail brought Holly into a deep kiss, full of longing and desire her tongue parting Holly's lips with no resistance until she and Holly were engaged in a passionate duel for dominance of the kiss. Shifting so that Gail could settle on top of her Holly was content to let Gail lead where this was going. Wherever it was. But if they carried on any further and Gail stopped them Holly couldn't promise she wouldn't go a little insane. It was the best frustration she'd ever experienced.

"No one has ever said that to me before." Gail confessed when their kiss broke.

"Then they are idiots." Holly said without pause. Reaching up with her right hand Holly tucked several errant strands of hair behind Gail's ear. Allowing her an uninterrupted view of the beauty that hovered above her. Holly wanted to show Gail all the great parts of what being in a relationship could be, she wanted to love Gail in a way that she deserved. Worship her like she should be, show her how much she was wanted.

The gentle weight of Gail's body on top of her own reawakened the desire that had been cooling during their conversation. Heat built between them as their bodies moved in the instinctive need to be closer to one another. Gail's body slid against Holly's creating a delicious friction that made them both elicit small moans of contentment. Hands unable to remain idol began to explore along contours, ridges, and soft expanses of skin. Pushing clothing aside as if it weren't even there Gail felt Holly's hand on the small of her back urging her lower half closer and parting her legs to accommodate Gail between them.

As their hips met, pressed tightly against one another Gail broke the kiss, a sharp intake of breath the only sound in the room. Her left hand moving down to grasp at Holly's hip clutching at the skin revealed between her pants and where her t-shirt rose up. Using her grip Gail pulled Holly up to press tighter against her. Feeling Holly pressed against her, so warm, so tantalizing Gail felt a rush of arousal settle between her legs. She ached for Holly to touch her. Her head was spinning.

They moved together in perfect sync, one pushing while the other recoiled and then pushed back. Their foreheads rested against one another, eyes tightly closed wanting only to drink in the sensation and the closeness. Holly knew that if they stayed like this they would work themselves up enough to be able to find satisfaction. But that wasn't how she wanted their first time to be. She wanted to touch Gail, see her, and taste her. She wanted to experience what it meant to be with Gail on the most intimate of levels. But the baser part of her, the one not boggled down by sentiment or by affection, just wanted to see Gail come completely undone.

Gripping Gail's hips Holly hooked her leg around Gail's and spun them so that she was now on top of the blonde. Before Gail could even comment on the talent of the move her words were swallowed by a gasp as Holly set about lavishing Gail's neck with kisses. Hot, open mouthed kisses blazed a pattern down Gail's neck from the underside of her jaw to where the fabric of her tank top started. Holly felt Gail's hand in her hair, closing her hand in a fist and pulling tightly on her hair. The message was simple, keep doing what she was doing. Her neck had always been a particular weakness of Gail's. And when Holly's teeth nipped at the sensitive skin just above Gail's pulse, drawing it into her mouth and sucking ever so slightly Gail was lost. The sound it evoked from Gail was a sound Holly would never forget. Allowing her tongue to sooth the tender skin Holly continued her path down Gail's neck feeling the blonde arch up into her, encouraging her on.

Holly felt Gail's free hand tracing up her sides, lingering along the sides of her breasts before one of Gail's fingers managed to brush over Holly's nipple. The touch was fleeting but it tore through Holly so powerfully she had to stop for a moment. Laughing softly Holly looked up at Gail, a playful glare to the blonde woman now looking down at her.

"Stop distracting me." Holly playfully reprimanded.

"You can't expect me not to touch you." Gail returned now running her hand through Holly's dark locks.

"You can touch me all you like." Holly offered pressing a kiss to the juncture where Gail's neck met her shoulder and the blonde shivered. "After I'm done having my way with you." Holly tossed in as an afterthought. Gail laughed, she liked this side of Holly. The more dominant side of the brunette was seriously affecting Gail. She didn't think that it was possible to be more turned on than she was in that moment.

And then the weight on top of her was shifting, and then was gone all together as Holly sat up. Gail missed the contact instantly and reached up to pull Holly back down. Holly swatted at Gail's hands and instead pulled Gail up. Straddling Gail's waist Holly reached down to the hem of Gail's tank top and tugged gently. It wasn't enough to bring the fabric up all the way but it was enough to show her intention. She was asking Gail's permission to take the shirt off knowing full well that Gail wasn't wearing anything underneath. Gail's answer came in her lifting her arms allowing Holly to remove the garment and toss it aside.

Holly's gaze remained on Gail's eyes. Though she wanted desperately to look down and take in the beautiful sight that was being presented before her. She wanted Gail to know without a shred of doubt that Holly wanted her, not just her body.

"You are so amazingly beautiful." Holly whispered her look all but assuring that Gail believed her. When she was convinced that Gail believed her Holly lowered her gaze to the newly revealed expanse of skin. Gail was a Goddess. Absolutely perfect in every way, there were a vast amount of sentimental, and romantic metaphors Holly could use to describe that beauty. But all of them fell short and all Holly could do was drink in the sight.

Gail watched Holly as Holly looked at her. She supposed she should feel exposed, uncomfortable by the close scrutiny she was under. But she didn't. Holly wasn't looking at her like she was being criticized. Holly was looking at her like someone would look at the Mona Lisa, or the statue of David. Completely awed by the masterpiece before their eyes. And it made Gail's chest feel funny, her heart beat just that much faster.

And then Holly's lips were on her again and thought completely escaped Gail. She didn't need to think. Everything was about sensation, feeling Holly's lips on her skin, the gentle teasing of her tongue as it slid down along Gail's sternum. The noises Gail was beginning to make were impatient. She needed Holly, she was beginning to throb with need and it was unbearable. And then finally. After what had felt like forever Gail felt Holly's hand slide up and cup her breast. Arching into Holly's touch Gail's eyes closed tightly and her breath catching. Like everything else about Holly, she kept her touch gentle, inquisitive but controlled. Soon Holly's other hand was joining the first and she was palming both of them.

Gail wasn't sure how much longer she was going to be able to remain sitting up, her hands dropped from Holly behind her to brace herself against the mattress. When she was able to force her eyes open Gail watched as the pad of Holly's thumb brushed against the hardened peak of Gail's nipple. It only took a millisecond for the sensation to register and when it did Gail's head fell back and pressed into Holly's hand a sound that was full of want tumbling from her lips.

"Jesus." Gail looked up at Holly her usually bright eyes were now dark almost indigo.

"Lay back." Holly instructed never breaking contact with Gail as the blonde laid back against the bed. Given her vantage point Holly couldn't help but shift on top of Gail, pressing down against the younger woman causing just the right amount of friction. Seeing Holly's eyes flutter shut Gail grabbed Holly's hips, encouraging her to push down harder. Allowing herself to be distracted for a moment, to drink in the sensation Holly's head fell backward eyes closed and bottom lip firmly ensnared between her teeth.

Bending at the waist Holly bent down and took Gail's nipple into her mouth sucking earnestly, her tongue teasing and her teeth lightly nipping. She could have spent all night exactly where she was. But Holly knew that neither she nor Gail had the patience for that. So she continued down, leaving Gail's breasts to kiss every rib cage, run her tongue along every trembling muscle of Gail's abdomen. Gail had always been fit, and Holly always had an appreciation for Gail's physique but this was different. Seeing the way that Gail's muscles rippled with each kiss.

Even through her cloud of arousal Holly made sure to go slow as much to savor each moment as it was to give Gail all the time she needed to stop her. Holly didn't want to spook Gail, and intimacy like this was the kind that Gail had been running from her whole life. When she reached the waistband of Gail's pants Holly looked up and what she saw took her breath away more than any amount of arousal, more than anything else ever good. To see Gail laying with her head thrown back and eyes closed tightly, her chest heaving as she tried to fill her lungs with air while allowing herself to be completely swept up in the pleasure of the moment. That sight told Holly that Gail wanted this. Hooking her fingers under the waistband Holly lowered the fabric revealing more of Gail's body to her.

Finally Holly pushed the sheets and the comforter off the edge of the bed and took Gail's pajamas and underwear too leaving Gail completely exposed to her. Gail was a confident person. She was beautiful and she knew it, and it was that confidence that Holly found sexy in addition to her body. Holly wanted to devour Gail, she couldn't wait to taste Gail to find just how she liked to be touched.

Gail worried she might hyperventilate, Holly's slow, torturous exploration of her body was going to make her combust if she didn't find release soon. It was mind boggling to think that it was possible to want someone so much. Holly's lips found the inside of Gail's thigh, kissing, nipping, and sometimes flat out biting the skin she found there until Gail was cursing silently for Holly to hurry up. Trailing her mouth up, and up until she was nearing where Gail wanted her most and then just as her mouth was about to descend onto the slick flesh she bypassed it and began the same teasing along Gail's other thigh.

"Holly." Gail growled warning Holly that if she didn't get a move on Gail would be determined to do it herself. With one last look at Gail, seeing no trace of doubt on the blonde's face Holly finally put her lips on Gail. Her tongue moved in long, exploratory strokes. Pleasure exploded through Gail's body the likes that she had never experienced before and all she could do was lay back and let it consume her. She wouldn't last long, the teasing and the lead up and taken Gail to the edge and now Holly's mouth was going to push her right over it.

Grabbing at the sheets, at the pillow beneath her head, at anything to keep herself grounded Gail's body began to move on its own. Desperate for release. Placing her hand on Gail's hip to keep her from thrashing to violently Holly felt Gail's hand grip tight around it. They were as close as two people could be physically and Gail still wanted more contact. It warmed Holly's heart to think that even in the heat of passion Gail still wanted to be closer.

Gail was seeing colors flashing vibrantly behind her eyes, she heard nothing but the sound of her heart thundering in her chest and her quick breaths intermixed with loud moans and colorful curses. Holly's mouth was taking her to a level of pleasure Gail didn't even know was possible. And just when Gail was positive she couldn't take anymore Holly's lips closed around Gail's clit, sucking the small bundle of nerves into her mouth. For a moment Gail thought she might have died. She felt euphoria in every inch of her body. It lasted minutes, maybe longer before Gail collapsed back onto the mattress her body still spasming and trembling slightly.

Holly inched up Gail's body pressing loving kisses randomly along Gail's skin as she went. Gail blindly reached for Holly, still not willing or able to open her eyes. She was still lost in the afterglow of what had to have been the most intense orgasm she'd ever experienced.

"You okay?" Holly asked her voice low and right next to Gail's ear. Nodding quickly Gail felt Holly nuzzle against her cheek and turned her head allowing their lips to meet in a sweet kiss.

"That was…" Gail didn't know how to put words to what that was. Anything she could think of felt utterly short. Holly loved seeing Gail like this. It was possibly her new favorite time to observe Gail, second only to Gail first thing in the morning. Here Gail was completely laid bare physically as well as emotionally. Allowing herself to be completely open and vulnerable with Holly. Holly felt the incredible sense of honor and responsibility that came with that. "My entire body tingles." Gail commented with a smile.

Finally opening her eyes Gail looked at Holly, still dazed but she needed to lay eyes on Holly. The brunette was gorgeous, slightly disheveled from what she'd been doing, her cheeks flushed but in the best possible way. And the same lop sided grin that made Gail's stomach do that flip flop thing.

"You're amazing you know that?" Holly's words surprised Gail, her expression reflected as much.

"I didn't do anything. You did all the work." Gail was slowly coming to her senses again and her familiar snark was returning.

"I don't mean about that. I just mean in general."

"I want to make you feel like you just made me feel. But I have no idea what to do." Gail admitted. She felt like an idiot confessing to her lover that she had no idea what to do. But of course, Holly being Holly, only smiled and that alone made Gail feel at ease.

"You don't have to do anything you're not ready to do." Holly heard herself saying these words and she did honestly believe them. But she was turned on past the point of sanity. She burned for Gail to touch her, anywhere. The throbbing between her legs was getting more and more difficult to ignore.

"I want to. I just might need some pointers I guess?" Gail blushed a deep red realizing that didn't make her look any more suave.

"Don't be embarrassed. Really, I'm touched that you're asking. It gives me a chance to show you what I like." Shifting on the bed Holly sat up and removed her top, followed shortly by her pants and underwear so that they were both now gloriously naked. It allowed Gail the opportunity to drink in the sight of Holly without clothes. She'd imaged it plenty of times, Hell she'd fantasized about it enough. But nothing prepared her for the perfection that was Holly Stewart.

Laying back down on the bed, Holly pulled Gail to her allowing Gail to settle into her side. Before she knew it Gail found her right hand had taken it upon itself to begin touching Holly. Running her fingers over the top swell of Holly's breasts, down through the valley between them until she reached Holly's belly button. Holly never looked away from Gail, enjoying the focused look Gail had on her face. Like Gail was trying to unlock a puzzle or something. Her fingers continued to go down until her hand was cupping Holly. The moan that fell from Holly's lips was both relief and also to encourage Gail to keep going.

"You're so wet." Gail commented, more to herself than to Holly, Holly knew how aroused she was and if she were thinking clearly she might have been embarrassed by that fact. But Holly's mind was only focused on the fact that Gail was touching her. Though Gail's touch was tentative at first, reading Holly's reaction to her touch Gail began to grow more confident. Her fingers drawing small circles around Holly's clit causing the brunette to moan loudly. Gail set a dizzying pace. She wanted to see Holly lost in pleasure. It was a sight Gail never wanted gone from her memory.

Gail slid a finger inside Holly, feeling Holly tighten around the digit and an appreciative sigh come from Holly she began slowly working her finger in and out setting a steady rhythm. Parting her legs wider allowing Gail more room Holly's eyes closed tight. Gail may have been inexperienced but she was quickly picking up with Holly liked and soon it was like Gail was reading her mind everywhere she wanted to be touched Gail seemed to know. When the rolling of Holly's hips against Gail's hand grew more frenzied Gail introduced another finger and doubled her pace until Holly was moaning almost constantly.

"Gail." Holly forced her eyes open she wanted Gail to see her, to know that she was the one giving Holly so much pleasure. Gail felt Holly's orgasm before she heard it, Holly tightened around her fingers, her inner muscles constricting and relaxing over and over. Gail's name fell from Holly's lips over and over again and Gail was struck still by it.

Both of them fell back against the mattress still both in the afterglow and enjoying the closeness, their naked bodies wrapped around each other so tightly if it weren't for the contrasting skin tones it would have been impossible to know where one ended and the other started.

"Best way to wake up ever." Gail said finally breaking the otherwise peaceful silence of the room.

"I'm not done with you yet." Holly stated getting her second wind and rolling on top of Gail a huge smile on her face. A smile that Gail soon returned.

"Oh yeah?" Gail asked already running her hands up Holly's sides.

"I hope you didn't have any plans for today because we're not leaving this bed."

**So...thoughts?**


	4. Chapter 4

Finally! The long awaited chapter 4. Thanks for being so patient with me. A quick side note, I'm not from Canada and I did add some things in this chapter about federal cops (still not entirely sure how that works) if I got it wrong I apologize. Anyway, enjoy :-)

 

 

Chapter Four

"We're going to be so late." Gail groaned tilting her head back against the wall in Holly's foyer, feeling Holly's lips smile against her skin before the pleasant hum that came as Holly's agreement. They were supposed to meet everyone at the Penny, it being a Saturday night that they could spent drinking too much and spending time with friends. In reality, neither one of them had wanted to get out of bed. They'd spent all day getting lost in each other, hours blurring together in a pleasurable haze.

"Do you want me to stop?" Holly asked pausing the exploration of her hands and halting her kisses.

"Don't you dare." Gail growled, closing her fist around Holly's hair tugging slightly. Holly felt a jolt of pleasure shoot through her body at Gail's dominance. Even though it was clear Holly had the upper hand in their current situation that didn't mean that Gail was going to play a passive role. Their previous love making had been sensual and sweet, this was different.

Gail gasped at the sharpness of Holly's grip, the way her fingers dug into her skin, nails dragging along her skin hard enough to leave angry red marks. Moving just the fraction of an inch closer to Gail, pushing the blonde hard against the wall so there wasn't even room for air between them Gail sensed that just the subtlest grip of her hand had awoken something in Holly and her entire body shivered with excitement. Holly was about to fuck her. She could see it in the intensity of Holly's gaze, the focus, and the raw want that reflected in Holly's dark eyes.

A sharp cry tore from Gail's throat when she felt Holly enter her suddenly, biting her collar bone at the same time creating an intoxicating mixture of pleasure and pain. Her hips moving of their own accord to match Holly's thrusts. Gail held onto Holly for dear life, sure that Holly was the only thing holding her up. Moans and curse words fell from Gail's lips as she let Holly fuck her, she was powerless to do anything else she was surprised she even remembered to breath.

Recognizing the signs that Gail was fast approaching climax Holly pulled her mouth away from Gail's neck, as tempting as it was to remain there she wanted to see Gail. The blonde's head was tilted back against the wall exposing the long column of her neck, her eyes shut tight and her lips parted as she gasped hungrily for air. It was the look of someone lost in pleasure and knowing that she was the one that was giving that pleasure to Gail was enough to send Holly spiraling towards her own climax. Still, lost as she was Gail managed to slide her thigh in between Holly's legs and push upwards, satisfied when she heard Holly groan.

"Jesus." Holly groaned dropping her forehead against Gail's shoulder the pleasure coursing through her whole body made it impossible to focus on anything else. They both lost themselves in their frenzied rhythm until finally with one last expert stroke of her thumb against Gail's clit Gail fell over the edge and allowed the waves of her climax to sweep her up into euphoria. She felt it throughout her entire body, in her fingertips and tips of her toes.

When Gail finally came back to her senses, tremors of pleasure still making her unsteady she looked up at Holly with such an open vulnerability it was unlike anything that Holly had ever seen before. It took a moment for Holly's own post orgasmic haze to fade enough for her to realize that Gail wasn't just feeling the after effects of an earth shattering orgasm but she was trembling. The kind of trembling someone might do if they were afraid, or feeling exposed. Both of those were not things that Holly wanted Gail to feel.

"Are you okay?" Holly asked cupping Gail's face and making the blonde look at her. Bright blue eyes shimmered at her while bottom lip trembled ever so subtly, if Holly weren't paying close attention to it she would have missed it. "Gail? Did I hurt you?"

Gail shook her head vehemently, she didn't know what was wrong with her. She'd never been the emotional sort after sex. It was easier for her to shut down emotionally after sex and just ride out the pleasure as long as possible. But like with so many other things with Holly, this was new. New and terrifying. Gail fell into Holly's arms, her arms thrown around Holly's neck pulling the brunette to her with a crushing intensity.

"Talk to me babe." Holly's soft, reassuring voice seemed to ease whatever it was that was happening to Gail. Only so much for Gail to realize that what she was feeling wasn't entirely unpleasant. It was the realization that she'd been battling for weeks, pushing down into the deepest parts of her mind so that she wouldn't have to deal with it. But now, standing with Holly like this she couldn't hide from it anymore.

"I think I love you." Gail said finally thankful that her voice didn't shake when she said the words. There were tons of more romantic ways she could profess her love for Holly. Especially the first time. But then it just wouldn't be Gail's style. And the fact that she spoke the words with such awe, like she'd never felt anything like it was utterly charming.

"Yeah?" Holly asked when she could find her voice. Gail nodded, biting her bottom lip and looking hesitantly at Holly. Expecting Holly to laugh, or to reject her, maybe tell Gail that she didn't feel that way about her and was only in it for the sex. Whatever Gail expected Holly to say, she wasn't imagining that it would be a positive reaction. She just wasn't prepared for Holly to smile at her, pull her into a gentle and loving kiss to put her mind at ease. "I love you too." Holly replied once the kiss was broken.

The smile that spread across Gail's face made the sun pale in comparison. Holly had never seen Gail light up the way that she was. She was loved. Gail didn't know how to explain to Holly what it felt like to know that she was loved for the first time just for being herself. With just three words Gail felt all the tension that she hadn't known she was carrying around with her fade into a warmth and excitement that filled her chest with each quickened heartbeat.

"Wow." Gail mused leaning against the wall and looking at her girlfriend. The remarkable woman that had somehow seen something in Gail that made her want to take the chance that most people thought was too risky.

"Seriously though, I didn't hurt you did I?" Holly asked worriedly. She hadn't been gentle, and while she had suspicions that Gail would be alright with taking things a little rougher, she still didn't know for sure.

"Babe, you didn't hurt me. That was amazing, feel free to do that anytime." Gail replied a hint of her usual snark sneaking back into her tone.

"I couldn't help it. You just look so good." Holly replied pushing away from Gail so that she could observe the perfection that was her girlfriend.

"I know, it's a curse."

"You going to be okay there stud? We're already late." Holly laughed, Gail definitely had the 'I just had the best sex of my life' look but she pulled it off well. There would be no denying that at least one if not all of her friends would be able to pick up on it but Gail didn't care.

"Just give me a minute. My legs are kinda jelly right now."

 

When the two women finally snuck into the Penny it was already crowded with cops from 15 and a few other divisions that didn't fear the repercussions of crossing divisional lines. It was easy enough to spot their group sitting around a large table towards the back of the bar. Holly would have gone straight over to them if Gail didn't pull her to the bar so that they could get their first round going. Gail would be far more receptive to their teasing if she had some alcohol in her system.

"You look nervous officer." Holly teased following Gail's attention towards her group of friends. They hadn't gone unnoticed when they arrived. Traci waved already and it looked like Andy was about to get up to greet them when Gail waved her off.

"Not nervous. It's just another night at the Penny." Gail said downing her tequila shot with practiced grace.

"Afraid they're going to know why we're late." Holly whispered in a low voice only Gail could hear over the chatter of the bar.

"Let them know." Gail replied with a casual shrug. She honestly didn't care if her friends knew that she and Holly had just had sex. The old Gail would have gloated about it. When she and Chris had been sleeping together, or when she was with Nick she didn't mind talking about how great the sex was. That wasn't the point. Holly was different. What they had was different, special in a way that Gail couldn't quite find words for. Blabbing the details just to garner the envy of her friends just didn't seem right in this case.

As they walked towards the table Holly felt Gail's hand slip into hers. It wasn't often that Gail actively sought out physical contact. She wouldn't fight it if Holly initiated it thought. Still, Holly glanced down at their hands while they weaved in an out of the crowd until they were standing in front of the table. Traci kicked out a chair for Holly while Gail stole one from another table and sat down.

"Glad you could join us." Steve commented a knowing smirk on his face.

"It looks like you guys were suffering without our awesomeness. So we took pity on you guys." Gail snapped back good naturedly. She was in a good mood and she doubted it was possible for anything to ruin that for her. Her hand slid across Holly's thigh, the tip of her middle finger playing with the in seam of Holly's jeans. The touch was concealed by the table but it was still something new that Holly hadn't expected. But Gail carried on conversation with her friends as if nothing were happening.

Holly's attention was drawn when she heard the noticeable sound of chair legs being drug across the floor, looking up just in time to see Chloe scoot the chair just the last bit so that she was sitting next to Holly. Like Gail was always talking about Chloe really did have an almost obnoxiously bright smile on her face.

"Hi?" Holly greeted more of a question than anything. She didn't know Chloe that well, other than the dealings they had during their work on various cases over the past few months. But Chloe was smiling at her like they had been friends for years and was expecting to gossip.

"Hi!" Holly fought the urge to cringe at the enthusiasm with which she was greeted. "I know we haven't met outside of work. I'm Chloe. I'm dating Dov." For emphasis Chloe pointed across the table at Dov who was talking with Chris and Steve about some suspect take down or another.

"I'm aware." Holly humored the girl. Holly was good with people. She always had been good with people, even when she didn't particularly get along with them. Chloe seemed to be an acquired taste but Holly wasn't going to mean just because Gail seemed to have an abhorrence for the perky girl.

"Of course you are. Gail probably told you all about me and how much she hates me."

"She doesn't hate you." Holly was quick to correct. She knew that Gail didn't really hate any of her co-workers despite what aura she liked to portray.

"It's just how Gail and I operate. Anyway, tell me about yourself. Gail's been keeping you to herself for so long. I wanna know everything."

"Everything? We'll be here for a while." Holly laughed at the thought.

"Cliff notes version then."

"You don't give up do you?" Holly asked though she was about to humor the redhead.

"Nope. Come on spill. It'll be easier and much less painful."

"Um okay. I went to the University of British Columbia for my undergrad and then McMaster University for medical school. I did my residency at Mount Sinai, went back to McMaster for my PhD work. Then got a job working forensic pathology for the city." Holly said sounding more like she was listing off her strengths for a job interview. When she was done she realized that she had somehow become the center of the table's attention. And it occurred to her that she was the only one that they didn't know. The rest of them had spent years together and knew pretty much everything about one another.

"Mount Sinai? That's impressive." Steve commented. He didn't know much about medical school residencies but he did know that Mouth Sinai was one of the best hospitals, if not the best hospital, in Canada.

"Thanks. It was fun, you know if subjecting yourself to years of sleep deprivation and working ridiculously long hours is your idea of fun." It actually was for Holly. She'd loved most everything about her residency and had absorbed as much information as she could while learning from the best doctors.

"So what exactly does it take to become a doctor?" This question came from Dov.

"Four year degree, premed, medical school, residency, and picking your specialty. When I picked pathology I had to go back to school and get my degree in that. I could have been done at that but I decided to get my PhD in pathology." Gail looked at her girlfriend, she knew Holly was smart and accomplished but for her own sanity and her own ego she had tried not to think too much on it. She didn't want to think of herself as inferior to her girlfriend. But now that she heard Holly explain what she'd had to go through to become as awesome as she was at her job Gail felt nothing but pride for her girlfriend.

"Nerd." Gail offered affectionately nudging Holly with her shoulder. Holly smiled warmly at Gail and then sipped her drink.

"Why would you subject yourself to that much school? I could barely survive through the academy and I was done with tests and studying." Andy wondered in awe.

"I like learning. No one likes tests but I think that if we don't push ourselves to continue learning we'll never reach our full potential. It doesn't have to be in an academic setting or anything but learning about the world we live in makes us appreciate it more."

"But why forensic pathology? I mean working on dead people, I can't see you making that decision when you were a little kid." Gail had always wondered why Holly had picked such a morbid profession. Especially when she had experienced first-hand how brilliant Holly was. She could see Holly working in a hospital in surgery or doing something that didn't involve being locked away in a room with dead bodies.

"I didn't know that's what I wanted to be until I was in medical school. One of my favorite instructors had been a forensic pathologist. She helped me see that while there are more glamourous medical professions, ones that would gain me better prestige and more money they were only treating the problem, not finding out what caused it. Not finding the final answers that family's want when someone they loves dies. I liked the idea of providing answers. The rest of the details are morbid and not fit for such situations." Holly replied knowing that Gail wanted to know the answer and the reassuring smirk she gave the blonde told Gail that if she still wanted to know the full story then later the two of them would talk about it.

"I'm just glad you're our pathologist. God, the guy at 27th is insufferable. And ancient." Steve said shaking his head at the memories spent waiting, and waiting, and waiting some more for results.

"Dr. Mansfield? Yeah, he's definitely a character." Holly was being generous. The man was a dinosaur. He didn't believe in the merits of advanced medicine so any case he worked on seemed to take that much longer. That, paired with the seemingly permanent aroma of formaldehyde that followed him everywhere made him less than ideal to work within close proximity.

"I think we'll keep ya Doc." Traci said with a warm smile. Holly liked Traci, she was the surrogate mother of their group and Holly suspected that it wasn't entirely because of the fact that she had her own son but because that was just her general personality. She loved each of them and she took care of them like they in turn took care of her and Leo. But Traci had a way with Gail, the two women had been through something that Holly had never felt right prying into. But she could see it whenever they talked, Gail checked her snark and her harshness when it came to Traci similar to the way that it was when Gail talked to Holly. There was no shortage of shark and sarcasm but the bite was gone her tone.

"Hey now, she's mine first. Remember that Detective." Gail warned with the narrowing of her blue eyes making the Detective laugh.

Over the course of the night as Gail became more and tipsier from the drinks that she was consuming she grew less shy about her affections for Holly. Where the night had started with her hand resting casually on Holly's thigh, present but discrete after a few drinks Gail moved her hand to actually clasp around Holly's on top of the table. The rarity of the contact was not lost on Gail's friends but they all had the good sense to not say anything. Not sure if they were more frightened by Gail or by Traci should they call attention to the softer side of Gail.

The sight hit Steve in a way he wasn't expecting. He and his sister had always been close, though that was only ever really apparent to him and Gail. They had grown up in the same house under their mother. They shared the experience of what it was like to have the world expected of them and the sting that it felt when their mother was disappointed in their lack of fulfillment of that expectation. But Steve had always been fiercely protective of Gail. Intervening whenever possible between his mother and sister. Even though Gail never fought back vocally against Elaine the words spoken about her might as well have been daggers. Gail had been a vibrant little girl, always full of energy and a lust for life that was as terrifying as it was enviable.

Gail was fearless as a child. She would take any bet, she would do anything regardless of the dangers posed by doing it. At eight years old she had accepted challenge from Steve to race to the half mile marker bobbing just off shore at a lake they used to frequent. She wanted to beat him so bad. But when she was about half way she started to lag behind. She wasn't going to quit though. She kept pushing. Finally Steve had to fake that he had gotten a cramp so that he could convince her to turn back so that she didn't drown. Where he had seen fearless bravery with a twinge of recklessness, their mother had only seen stupidity and had made sure that Gail knew it. Bit by bit Steve had watched as Gail lost that spark. One of his biggest regrets in life was not stopping it.

Still, seeing Gail sitting with Holly he caught a glimpse of the girl he had thought was lost. She smiled the genuine, bright smile that lit up her entire face. She wasn't mean, well, not with the intention to actually hurt. Holly was good for her sister, unlike the other losers that Gail had dated in the past who didn't challenge her. Holly kept Gail on her toes, and would give her a slightly reproachful look when Gail said something too harsh to one of her friends.

"You look lost in thought." Traci whispered leaning against Steve's shoulder. Steve looked over at his girlfriend with a smirk. Loving how well she knew him already.

"She's in love." Steve replied in a low voice nodding towards Gail who was too lost in Holly to notice that they were talking about her.

"That she is." Traci said.

"Looks good on her."

"She deserves it."

"What are you two whispering about over there?" Gail demanded slightly worrying when Traci and Steve whispered amongst themselves because it usually had something to do with her.

"Nothing." Both of them said at the same time before bursting out laughing. Gail obviously didn't believe them but she didn't push it either tonight was about having fun.

"I think they're talking about us Lunchbox." Gail stage whispered.

"I think they're talking about you officer."

"Same difference."

"Contrary to most lesbian stereotypes we're not the same person yet." Holly corrected teasingly. Gail shrugged and went back to her conversation with other people but her attention to Holly seemed to increase, her fingers moving to caresses instead of just contact.

 

Monday morning rolled around with nothing but paperwork to greet Holly. Mondays were like that, admin days and since she was the most senior pathologist that they had a lot of it fell on her to make sure people got their paperwork in order. Her inbox was filled with file after file that needed her signature or a second look. It was tedious but given the alternative Holly was happy to take the paperwork. Gail and her fellow rookies were back on patrol, something Holly wasn't overly thrilled with but she kept that kind of thing to herself.

The uneventful ended with an email from her boss just after 9am informing her of a staff meeting that had been called at the last minute. Staff meetings were rare in their office, messages meant for the entire staff were usually delivered via email. Holly blamed that on most of the people she worked with preferring the company of dead bodies to live ones. Grabbing her things Holly left her office and headed towards the conference room, she was one of the first to arrive and greeted her co-workers with a friendly nod or even a quiet 'hello' before sitting down.

Dr. Charles Warner had been Holly's boss since she had started at the pathology office. They got along famously, mostly because Charles knew Holly was capable and wasn't going to waste either of their times micromanaging. He was also not so secretly grooming her to take over for him when he took his inevitable retirement. When he entered the conference room it was with a look of deep consternation on his face. Whatever he had to tell them, he wasn't happy with it and thus they were probably going to not like it either.

"Thank you all for coming. I'll make this short so we can all get back to work. This afternoon we'll be joined in our offices by federal pathologists to go over the evidence of the recent killings." Charles looked at Holly specifically knowing that their presence if anything would be an insult to Holly over everyone else. But none of them liked it when the feds came in and messed with their labs.

"Do they think we missed something?" Holly asked expression schooled. She was livid. She hated dealing with the federal forensic specialists. Especially when they were usually suffering from some superiority complex and liked to hint that Holly and her team were barely capable of doing their jobs.

"No. But given the high profile nature of the case and the complexity of the evidence they want to come in and throw their resources at it." Charles answered leaning against the desk and folding his arms in front of him.

"The evidence isn't complex. It's non-existent. Come on Charles, if Holly couldn't find it then it isn't there." The praise came from the ballistics lead. They worked together a lot and had over the years developed a friendship on top of a pleasant working relationship.

"I know that. This isn't any slight against you Holly. But you know how these federal types are. If you even hint at a serial killer they come in waving their badges and making everyone else's lives difficult. Just, try and accommodate them as much as possible. Dr. Silas will be at your office just after lunch."

"Victoria Silas?" Holly asked. She knew that name. Most everyone knew that name, Victoria Silas was a very good pathologist, if there were a race of who was the best pathologist in Toronto it would be a tight race between Holly and Victoria.

"One in the same." Charles said unsure if the familiarity spawned from professional intrigue or something else.

"Fantastic." Holly said sarcasm dripping from her words.

"Try and be nice. She's only here to help."

"I'm always nice."

The meeting adjourned a little bit after that once Charles went over a few more house keeping things to make sure no one wondered why they were there. It was clearly just a meeting he needed to have with Holly. Charles stopped Holly on her way, he looked truly sympathetic.

"This has nothing to do with your performance Holly. I know how skilled you are." Charles insisted.

"I know Charles. Don't worry I'm not upset. It's just inconvenient." Holly said.

"Okay. If you could compile your notes for Dr. Silas I'm sure she'd appreciate it."

"I'll get right on that. Any idea when she was going to arrive?" Holly knew Victoria, they had come up in the same field together. Most people assumed that they were rivals because they were both up and coming in the same field. But there had never been bad blood between them.

"Some time later today. The feds don't want to take over the case Holly. They just want to help in any way they can."

"Thanks for the heads up Charles. I'll talk to you later."

Holly had barely reached her lab when her phone dinged several times in very quick succession, which meant that whoever was texting her had sent her a very long message that needed to be broken up into smaller ones. Holly guessed that it was Gail. If they were sending a federal forensic pathologist to help Holly out then it was reasonable to assume that they were also sending agents to help out 15. Holly doubted that Gail would be as open minded about it as Holly.

Gail Peck 8:42am: FED's Lunchbox. They are sending feds to 'help' us out. I mean, do they not think that we're capable? And you should see these guys. Their right out of a movie or something, suits and sunglasses. Only thing their missing is the ear pieces. –

They've been in with Frank and the D's for the last half an hour but they are having us pack up all the notes and files we have and-

Holly's reading was interrupted when her phone started to ring and Gail's name appeared across the screen. Apparently Gail had gotten tired of waiting for Holly to get back to her so she decided to call again.

"Feds Holly!" Gail exclaimed before Holly even had a chance to greet her. No one was happy when they saw the agents walking into the Division. They had, as they were known to do hijacked the case as if they'd been running it all along. Frank told them that they had to cooperate with the investigation but until he knew more they were just sharing information.

"I know, I've got one coming down to 'assist' me too." Holly replied understandingly. Though she never understood what it was about the territorial nature of cops and their hatred for outside assistance.

"Really? What is he like?" Gail asked sitting down on the bench in the locker room. They were all waiting around to see what was going to happen. And Gail really didn't want to be helping the agents collect all the files so she'd retired to the locker room to call Holly.

"She hasn't arrived yet. But I've worked with her before. She's not terrible." Holly answered casually. She could hear the hesitation on the other side of the line and couldn't tell if it was because Gail was distracted by something or if she was taken aback by the fact that the federal pathologist was female.

"What's she like?" Gail asked curiously. She didn't know any other pathologists so it seemed natural to be curious. Even though Gail was pretty sure that she was mildly jealous, even if she couldn't understand why she would be.

"Her names Dr. Silas. She and I have worked together on cases before. Usually I'm helping her out so this will be a change. Most people think we're rivals." Holly said.

"But you're not?"

"No. We're both good at what we do, there's no point in complicating it more than that."

"You're much more mature than I am Hol." Gail commented affectionately.

"You say that like you're surprised." Holly teased in return causing Gail to laugh softly. This was what she needed, she just needed to hear Holly's voice for a few minutes to take her away from having to deal with federal jack asses that liked to walk in as if they owned the place.

"Let's go out tonight. I want to take you on a date." Gail suggested suddenly. It wasn't that they didn't date, they went out to the Penny plenty now that Gail had gotten over her weird issue with sharing Holly's attention. But they were usually so tired after their shifts they didn't want to go anywhere so they ordered in. Movie and take-out nights were fast becoming Gail's favorite thing ever. However, Gail wanted to take her girlfriend out for a change.

"A date? What did you have in mind?"

"Dinner some place nice, conversation, maybe if you play your cards right some other things when we get home." Gail hinted in a low voice. Holly felt herself shiver just at the thought of it. Holly knew that once she and Gail crossed the physical intimacy line that things would change between them, and they had in some ways, but what Holly liked the most was it seemed to have cemented something for Gail and the blonde seemed to open up, allow herself to funny commit herself to their relationship. Holly wasn't sure if it was the fact that they'd made love, or the fact that they had both expressed their love. But if she were guessing she'd say it was both of them.

"I like this plan."

"Excellent. I'll see you after shift. You can teach me how two girls get ready for a date."

After her conversation with Gail all Holly wanted to do was pass the time faster. She wanted to go home and be able to go out with her girlfriend. Suddenly, it felt like it was the most pressing thing in the world. Otherwise she was just compiling evidence for Victoria when she arrived. When the door opened to the lab Holly didn't bother to look up, people came and went all during the day. It wasn't until she saw a feminine form come to stand next to her that she paused, her head slightly turned so she could get a better look. But to someone not paying attention it might have appeared that Holly was oblivious.

"Good Afternoon Dr. Stewart." Holly's fingers stilled on the keyboard at the familiar voice that carried through the room. It was familiar yet Holly remembered the last time she'd heard it there had been a stronger hint of an accent than there was now.

"Dr. Silas, about time you showed up." Holly replied spinning her chair so that she was facing the new comer. For a moment Holly was taken aback by how close Victoria was to her but she recovered from the shock.

"Traffic?"

"Glad to see some things never change, we can always rely on you to stroll in whenever it's convenient for you." Holly jibed, it might have seemed like Holly was being unfairly harsh but the slight curl of her lips indicated that her words were in jest.

"I'm glad someone appreciates it. How have you been?" Holly stood and accepted the friendly hug, it was brief and lasted only a moment before the women parted.

"I'm well, and you?"

"Other than this case I'm fine."

"Perhaps after work today you'll allow me to take you out for drinks and we can catch up."

"Sorry, I can't tonight I have plans. Rain check?"

"Keep the ladies wanting more hmm? Glad to know some things haven't changed." Victoria teased.

Victoria Silas was a beautiful woman, brilliant, beautiful, funny, with legs that went on forever. Her golden hair was pulled back into a functional and also elegant clip exposing her neck. Her green eyes peered at Holly with a mixture of fascination and playfulness. She was exactly the type of woman Holly would have fallen for, even found herself developing a crush on at one point in her life. But now when she looked at Victoria, the only admiration she felt was professional.

"Shall we start looking over the evidence?" Holly suggested gesturing to the empty chair next to her.

 

Agent Valmont and Greer were fast becoming the bane of Gail's existence, Valmont seemed to be the more dominant of the two being the one that spoke more. But Greer was the muscle, he stood silent and brooding and was kept, Gail was sure of it, for purely intimidating properties. Both alpha male types enjoyed the idea that they were there to help solve a serial killer case and liked treating the uniforms as servants who could go and get them coffee. Gail felt her anger spike to an almost critical level when she overheard Valmont trying to get Chloe to go get him coffee by calling her sweetheart. Gail was proud of the redhead for telling him she'd be happy to get him some coffee if he didn't mind having her saliva in it.

But Frank had asked them to be as accommodating as possible and Gail would not want to be on the receiving end of one of Elaine Peck's lectures on how they were supposed to be helping bridge the gap between interdepartmental rifts.

"This is stupid." Andy grumbled sitting next to Gail arranging the different copies of files she'd just had to make and stapling them all together. Gail chewed on the edge of her pen gently while watching as Traci and Luke were made to play nice with the Agents.

"So far I haven't seen how they can help us find this guy." Chris commented from across the desk.

"Resources, it's all about the resources. They got them and we need them." Dov answered running down names at his work station.

"Holly says they sent a forensic pathologist down to work with her too." Gail commented.

"Man, this is going to become just one giant federal mess."

"So I heard that Noelle's coming back from maternity leave beginning of next week." Chris commented hoping to brighten the mood of his friends. They had all wondered if Noelle was going to come back from her extended maternity leave. Noelle was a hard ass, but she was someone that they needed, someone that the Division hadn't realized they were taking for granted until she was gone.

"That'll help. She won't put up with this shit." Andy said in a low, conspiratorial voice. She didn't like the Agents being there but she didn't want them to know that either. Pissing off a federal agent was not the best move for her career.

"Oh God." Gail exclaimed quietly looking up and seeing the white shirt and the flash of red that could not be anyone other than her mother walking into the Division. She didn't know why she hadn't thought about it before, having Agent's coming in of course the Superintendent would be present to make sure everything went smoothly. However, that usually meant that Gail was about to be thrust into some form of spotlight or volunteered for a task she most definitely didn't want.

"Uh oh Superintendent Mom is on the prowl." Dov teased. Though his jabs had essentially lost their meaning he still made them because it was fun to see how riled up it got Gail.

"This is not something I want to deal with right now." Gail said turning her chair away in hopes that by some miracle her mother had more to pay attention to than her. But Gail was never that lucky, and it seemed that Elaine was at least a part of the reason that she had decided to drop by 15th.

"Gail, a word please." Elaine said without even breaking her stride towards Frank's office. Gail looked past her friends and each of them saw the tormented look that crossed over her face as she stood up to follow.

Once she had crossed the threshold of Frank's office the door closed firmly behind Gail. Frank looked up, like Gail he was not surprised that Elaine was there but the unorthodox manner in which she arrived seemed to surprise him too.

"Superintendent Peck, what can I do for you?" Frank asked folding his hands over his stomach as he reclined in his chair.

"A serial killer. A serial killer has murdered three people and I am just now hearing about it when I find out that federal agents are being sent in to help the investigation. Explanations now." Angry was definitely an understatement about Elaine's mood, Gail would guess that she was closer to livid. Elaine didn't like important things like this being kept form her in any case but to be caught unware when the request to intervene came through made Elaine look like a fool and there was no greater sin in the world.

"We didn't want to make a big deal out of this. It's already catching fire with the media and I thought that it best if we tried to keep this in house." Frank explained glancing at Gail. Neither of them had to ask what she was doing there. She was expected to have told Elaine about the serial killer. But she hadn't which put her at the top of Elaine's shit list. The reaming that Elaine was about give was for the both of them.

"A big deal? Staff Sergeant someone has killed multiple people in your district and you think that you have the luxury of keeping this discrete? I'm expected to make a press conference about this by the end of the day today. So you will catch me up on all of the details." Gail new that last part was aimed at her. She was going to have to catch her mother up on all the details of the case.

"Of course Superintendent." Frank said nodding towards Gail to lead Elaine to the parade room where all of the details of the case were being spread out. Gail didn't expect her mother to say anything to her while they walked. That was how Elaine handled her displeasure with her children, she didn't yell. At least not right away, the punishment came with the disapproving look that she had perfected. The feeling of knowing that she had let her mother down was enough of a punishment. And then the lecture would come.

"The first victim was-"Gail started without looking at her mother.

"How could you not tell me?" Elaine demanded once they were alone. Gail stopped, looking at her mother wide eyed, surprised by the sudden burst of anger that came from her mother.

"Frank said it, we were trying to keep this under wraps."

"You are my daughter. You are a Peck and you owed it to your family to tell me what was going on. Especially if you're Staff Sergeant isn't making decisions that are in the best interests of his Division." Elaine said as if Gail should have already known that.

"I don't think he was wrong. Sargent Best acted in the best interests of the public. He didn't want to create a panic by whispering the words serial killer. The media is already going to make this a huge deal, telling them what we know, or worse yet all that we don't know isn't going to help anyone." Gail insisted.

"You're first responsibility is to your family name Gail. I thought you would have known that by now." Elaine said with a disappointed sigh. Gail regarded her mother, for a moment trying to pretend like the words didn't sting. But showing that weakness would only spur Elaine on.

"You taught me that my division is like my family mother. And to follow the orders of my commanding officer as if they were orders from you." Gail fought back. It was clear that it surprised Elaine that Gail was standing up for herself. Gail usually remained quiet when it came to Elaine's attacks. She was raised to silently take the criticism, even if it was unwarranted because it was the fastest way to make them stop.

"Well I'm glad that you're at least attempting to listen to me. Even if your draw the wrong conclusions. Now, catch me up so that I can go and try and clean up this mess."

By the end of her shift Gail was ready to jump out of her skin. She had spent the majority of the day talking over the entire case with her mother. Explaining that they were doing everything that they could and that no effort was being spared in finding who the killer was and stopping him. But Gail was agitated, and barely able to contain her ire as she sat with her mother.

"This Dr. Stewart must be completely inept if this is all she could provide you with." Elaine commented looking over Holly's notes as she looked them over. Gail's jaw dropped slightly and she felt her blood threaten to boil over. Criticizing Gail was one thing, her Division was slightly more egregious but insulting Holly was something that Gail could not, would not allow.

"She has been working harder than any of us to find out who this killer is. There is no forensic evidence." Gail defended. Elaine looked up, removing her glasses in a meticulous fashion that drove Gail up the wall.

"When did you get your degree in forensics Gail?"

"That's not the point. Dr. Stewart is one of the best forensic pathologists in the country. She's the only reason we know what we know." Gail continued, she could hear the sound of blood rushing through her veins so loud that it blocked out almost anything else. Elaine was not allowed to do this to Holly. A woman whom she'd never met, but assumed was a failure at her job simply because a report didn't blatantly spell out who the murderer was.

"You are awfully defensive of Dr. Stewart." Elaine commented looking at her daughter closely. Gail didn't give her praise easily. If Gail was willing to defend Holly to Elaine of all people then there must be something special about the doctor.

"I just won't have you jumping to conclusions about her skill level just because the killer has at least some forensic knowhow." Hoping that she hadn't said too much that her mother might grow suspicious. She hadn't even thought about telling Elaine about Holly yet. She knew she would have to do it eventually, and it was an experience that Gail was not looking forward too. It wasn't that Elaine was in any way homophobic, but there were expectations and Gail was sure that her being in a relationship with a woman wasn't a part of that plan.

It was clear by the narrowing of Elaine's eyes that she didn't entirely believe that was the only reason her daughter was coming to such a vehement defense of the doctor. There had been whisperings delivered by her spies that Gail was seeing someone. Gail hadn't exactly been discrete about it. Putting two and two together wasn't difficult.

"How long have you been seeing her?" Elaine asked. Gail wished that she could have been surprised that her mother had figured it out. She thought for a brief moment of denying it but what would the point of that be?

"A few months." Gail answered truthfully watching her mother's reaction closely. She couldn't ever read her mother's expressions. It was too difficult to tell if the older woman was going to react favorably or indifferently. Gail didn't even want to think of the other possibilities.

"My daughters been a lesbian for a few months and I'm only now hearing it from her? Wow, not only am I apparently oblivious as a Superintendent but as a mother as well." Elaine said sitting down. Maybe it was just a sign that she didn't know her daughter as well as she thought she did because she honestly had not seen this coming.

"Kinda took me by surprise too. And I'm not a lesbian. It's just Holly." Gail answered softly, taking pity on her mother when she saw just the barest glimpse that this was truly bothering Elaine.

"Just Holly?"

"You know when you meet someone, and they just get you? And you just feel it, this is the person that you're supposed to be with forever?" Gail tried to explain though she wondered if her mother did know what that felt like. It wasn't that her parents had a loveless marriage, but since as far back as Gail could remember her parents had more of a partnership than a marriage.

"I do know that feeling."

"That's what Holly did to me. The fact that she is a woman just didn't matter."

"Would it be out of the realm of possibility to meet this woman?"

"Are you going to criticize her ability as a pathologist?" Gail asked.

"No. Maybe her worthiness to date my daughter but not in a professional capacity." Elaine said pulling her purse over her shoulder.

"Maybe once all this dies down. We're all really stressed out and I don't think that the stress will bode well for a successful dinner."

"Thank you for telling me Gail." Elaine said before she left the parade room not giving her daughter a chance to respond. Gail stood silent for a moment unable to move or even think for a minute while she processed what had just happened.

Aware that her phone was ringing some time later Gail jumped, looking at the offending device and seeing Holly's name crossing the screen Gail cursed silently for losing track of time.

"Hey." Gail greeted already packing the files up.

"You okay?" Holly asked picking up on the strange somberness of Gail's voice. Gail always had snark present in her tone but somber was usually indicative that something was wrong.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just spent the day with my mother." Gail answered though even that wasn't the entire truth. While it normally would mean that Gail was angry enough to want to shoot something she decided this would go down in the history books as a pleasant encounter.

"Okay…" Holly didn't know how to answer that. She never understood Gail's relationship with her mother. Being almost estranged but at the same time not.

"I'm okay, really. It was just a lot more of her than I wanted to deal with today. Anyway, are you ready for me cuz I still need to change."

"That's okay, I'm just leaving the morgue now."

"See you in a bit."

The drive to Holly's mostly silent, but not in an uncomfortable Gail brooding kind of way. The two women just knew better than to start their night together with the heavy conversational stuff and decided to just allow themselves to process their days before asking the other how their own day had faired. It was one of the many things that Gail appreciated about Holly. She didn't find that it was necessary to fill silences with small talk.

"So what am I wearing tonight?" Holly asked as they crossed the threshold of her home. Gail looked at her quizzically for a moment wondering what that question meant. "How would you like me dressed? Are we going fancy-ish, casual?"

"Oh, um comfortable but nice?" Gail said with a hint of question.

"So nice jeans and a blouse kinda thing?" Holly asked and then nodded.

"Surprise me."

"Always do." Holly said before disappearing upstairs.

"You're telling me." Gail murmured to herself.

Holly emerged from the bedroom almost half an hour later and descended the stairs. Gail had sat herself on the couch and was aimlessly flipping through channels while she waited. She'd changed already and had used the downstairs bathroom to touch up her makeup and hair. But nothing prepared her for the sight of Holly. Holly was always beautiful, Gail was sure Holly would always be beautiful, even without make up first thing in the morning when she hadn't even made an attempt. But tonight she had, her glasses were gone and she'd put in her contacts, she wore a pair of blue jeans that hugged her hips and her butt perfectly before relaxing down her legs. The blouse she had decided on was a maroon color and showed a generous view of her cleavage.

"Wow. This is you casual?" Gail asked her mouth dry and her body reacting to the sight of her girlfriend. Holly blushed at the compliment and a warm smile touched her lips.

"You look beautiful." Holly said, but she said it like it was the most natural thing. Gail would never get used to the way that Holly looked at her. It would still always surprise her that Holly looked at her with such adoration, Gail had never experienced anything like it before.

The two gravitated towards one another and it seemed like such a natural thing for Gail to wrap her arms around Holly's waist and pull the brunette against her. Their lips meeting effortlessly and the familiar warm feeling filling both of them as they enjoyed the leisurely kiss. It broke at its inevitable end and Holly grabbed her bag and let Gail lead her out of the house.

Dinner was a small, intimate affair at a small restaurant Gail had discovered through the course of work. She'd helped the owners recover some stolen property and they had sworn that she would always be welcome there. As the two of them walked in Mark the owner came out to greet Gail with a hug. The gesture surprising both Gail and Holly but neither knew what to say in response.

"You're going to have to tell me the story behind that hug." Holly said once they had been seated. Gail laughed, it wasn't that big of a deal, at least she didn't think so. But she told Holly the story of how Mark and his wife had come into the station when she had been on desk duty and had claimed that their house had been robbed. Gail being Gail had been disinterested at first until Mark explained why everything that was stolen was important and Gail had gone out of her way to help them. Turned out their junkie son had stolen from them and pawned everything to support his impressive drug habit.

"What happened to their son?" Holly asked.

"That's the reason for the hug, I pulled some strings and got their son into rehab. I think he'll be six months sober in a few weeks." Gail sipped from her water shifting uncomfortably. She didn't like praise, that wasn't why she did the job. But people seemed to enjoy giving her praise.

Dinner carried on comfortably as it always did with them, conversation came naturally. Given their varying careers and their different interests there was never a shortage of things to talk about. Of course Holly had to be a little more discrete when talking about autopsies given that it wasn't exactly appropriate dinner conversation.

"Do you want to get married?" Gail asked suddenly causing Holly to nearly choke on her drink. The brunette's shocked expression would have been comical if it hadn't been for the fact that Gail was slightly worried about the answer.

"What?" Holly asked when she had finally regained her breath.

"Relax Hol, I'm not proposing or anything. I'm just curious, do you see yourself getting married one day. I mean it is legal and everything." Gail explained gathering now how her question could be mistaken as a proposal.

"I think I do. I wasn't one of those girls that dreamt of a wedding when I was a little girl but I think someday I want to get married. Be someone's wife." Holly chose the word 'someone' carefully. She didn't want to spook Gail.

"I was going get married at 22. I didn't do it out of love though. I did it to rebel against my parents. They hated Nick. But I think that being married might be nice, have someone to come home to every night, a life with someone. It sounds nice."

"You can have that even if you don't get married."

"Yeah but then they wouldn't be contractually bound to put up with my rather colorful personality traits." Gail replied mischievously. Holly couldn't help but laugh, Gail knew she could be a pain in the ass. And she didn't always mean to be. Of course there were times when she knew she was being a pain and did it anyway.

"They are definitely colorful."

"Can I ask you a question that you're not allowed to look too much into?" Gail asked leaning forward against the table and her voice dropping.

"I'll try not to look into it. But I can't promise anything." Holly offered honestly. Her mind was in a constant state of overdrive. She couldn't stop it. But at least she could promise that she wouldn't outwardly look to much into whatever it was Gail was about to ask.

"Could you ever see yourself marrying me?" Gail asked. She watched Holly's reaction, expecting a freak out or something. But Holly just sat back and pondered the question, the longer it took Holly to process the question the more worried Gail became. Maybe Holly was trying to think of a way that she could let Gail down easily. Maybe Holly was going to tell her that she wasn't in this for the long term. All of Gail's insecurities were preparing to rear their ugly heads and Gail had to keep herself from bolting.

"I could. One day." Holly answered finally.

"You hesitated." Gail countered defensively.

"I daydreamed. I imagined what it would be like to come home to you every day. To call you my wife, to be married to a police officer." The first part of Holly's statement was almost dreamy sounding but the last part of it was somber, and slightly fear filled. Holly was still coming to grips with the idea that she was dating a cop that things were going to happen to Gail that wouldn't happen if Gail had a normal career. She was going to be shot at, she was going to be hurt and every day there was a potential for danger. It was something Holly was still trying to reconcile in her brain.

"It's who I am Holly. I can't change it." Gail knew where Holly's mind went, and she knew that there was nothing that she could do that would make the look of sadness leave Holly's face forever but she had to try.

"I don't want you to ever change who you are. But that doesn't mean that I'm not going to worry."

"I think I could handle that. It's nice to have someone care about me and not just the fact that I'm a Peck. Oh speaking of which, I kind of told my mother about us today." Gail said taking a very large last bite of her meal before pushing the plate away. She was hoping if she distracted herself with eating she wouldn't have to deal with the aftermath of the bomb she'd just dropped on Holly.

"How do you 'kind of' tell your mother about us?"

"She came in guns blazing to the Division today. She thinks we aren't doing enough to catch this guy. And she was going over your report and she was saying some stuff. I defended you and she asked why I was so protective of you and poof it kind of just came out of my mouth." Gail explained in a rush. Holly didn't know whether or not she wanted to ask what Elaine had said about her or if she wanted to find out more about how Elaine had handled the news.

"How did she react?" Holly asked finally deciding that was the more important question.

"It's a lot for her. But I think that she's going to be okay once she can wrap her mind around it."

"I wasn't sure if you'd tell her about us or not."

"I told you I'm not ashamed."

"It's one thing to tell your friends. But another entirely to tell your parents." Holly remembered how torn up she'd been when she had first decided that she needed to tell her parents that she was gay. She'd made herself sick over it for days. Then when she couldn't handle it anymore she had sat them down and blurted it out in the most awkward and tactless way possible.

"I think that she might have already had a suspicion. But either way, she knows now. And I'm okay that she knows." Gail said reaching over and grabbing Holly's hand. Reassuring the brunette with just a touch that she was okay with everything that was happening with their relationship.

"You're really okay with all of this?" Holly asked. They hadn't ever really talked about it, not how Gail was processing all that was happening.

"I really am. I want to be with you Holly. And I'm not going to hide the fact that I'm with you just because some asshole is going to stare." There was such strength and conviction in Gail's voice that Holly had no choice but to believe it.

"I love you." The words were forced from Holly's mouth because in that moment she was beyond thought other than her overwhelming adoration and love for the woman now sitting opposite her. And she was rewarded by the brightest and most genuine smile Gail had.

"I love you."

They paid their bill and left the restaurant hand in hand, still enjoying pleasant conversation and the general warmth that was their happiness. With only the soft sounds of the radio playing some song or another Gail found the silence soothing and the security of Holly's hand in hers comforting.

"You look deep in thought." Gail commented when she noted that Holly had that look of deep focus she got when she was facing a problem that she couldn't see a solution for.

"What do you think about children?" Holly asked daring a glance at Gail briefly before she looked back to the road. Gail fell back against the seat she sat in and watched as Toronto sped pass.

"Not for me." Gail dismissed. Though even then the words felt like lies as she spoke them. It was only recently that Gail had begun to dream that she might one day become a mother. Holly felt Gail's words like a paralyzing blow. She had always wanted children, it wasn't so much a what if, but it was a when. And the more that she thought about it the more she had wanted children with Gail.

"Why not? You're great with children."

"I'm great with them if I can give them back at the end of the day and only have to deal with them for short periods of time."

"That's not true. Traci says you're great with Leo."

"Motherhood isn't for me. I'm fine being the cool aunt." Another lie. This one more convincing.

"That surprises me." Holly said as a final thought for the rest of the drive. This time however the silence was tense, filled with an uneasiness that had befallen the car. They didn't speak even as Holly parked and they made their way into her town home. Gail watched, wondering where the night had gone wrong as Holly went about her usual routine when she got home. Dropping her keys into the dish next to the door, hanging up her coat and then heading upstairs to change. Gail could tell Holly was bothered by something and it revolved around having children. But now she was torn on whether or not she should follow Holly and confront the issue or remain where she was and wait for Holly to come down to her.

Minutes passed like hours as Gail stood in the entryway of Holly's home. Looking around feeling as if she didn't belong anymore though she couldn't justify the feeling. It made her uneasy but she couldn't bring herself to move. Holly hadn't returned from the upstairs and almost twenty minutes had passed. It never took Holly that long to change into comfortable clothes so Gail figured that Holly was remaining upstairs.

She ascended each step cautiously until she was at the top of the stairs and looking down the dark hallway towards Holly's bedroom. The thin sliver of light showing from beneath the door told Gail that Holly was inside. In all the time that they had spent together in Holly's house Gail had never knocked on the bedroom door. She'd always felt welcome whether the door was open or not. But now she knocked, likely because she didn't know if Holly was angry or not.

"Come in." Holly's voice was muffled through the door but Gail pushed the door open anyway and peaked inside. Holly was sitting on her bed, legs crossed under her TV remote in hand but the device wasn't on.

"You're mad about something."

"I'm not mad Gail. I'm just thinking." Holly answered as Gail ventured towards the bed.

"About what?"

"I want kids Gail."

"Oh." Gail breathed sitting on the corner of the bed and looking at Holly while the brunette looked away.

"Yeah oh."

"And I told you that I didn't want to have kids." Gail was putting the pieces together and she wasn't liking the sinking feeling that was beginning to settle into her stomach.

"It's just something that I've always saw for myself. And I get that we're still newly into this relationship and I don't want to push for anything. But if we both want different things in our lives, it just makes me worry us."

"No, babe don't worry about us. We're solid right? I mean we're good together right?"

"We're great together Gail. That isn't what this is about. This is about the future. I want to have kids one day Gail." Holly pressed. She didn't want to convince Gail how she was wrong for not wanting children or that there was anything wrong with that. But it was what Holly wanted and Holly needed Gail to understand that wasn't going to change.

"I don't know what to say Holly." Gail said quietly looking at Holly, her eyes showing every bit of fear and vulnerability she was feeling. She didn't like the feeling that this conversation might lead to the two of them breaking up. Gail didn't know if she could live without Holly. Holly had woven herself so inextricably with Gail's life that removing her would be impossible.

Silence fell over the room and neither woman knew what to say. This was the first time that they had reached something in their lives that they disagreed on. And unfortunately it couldn't have been something simple that could easily be resolved. Holly wanted to have kids, and honestly there was no greater mental image for Gail then doing just that. Her and Holly raising a child together and going to the park, Christmases, Gail had no doubt in her mind that Holly would make a remarkable mother. But she couldn't do it. Gail knew she couldn't subject a child to being raised like that.

Gail shifted closer to Holly so that their knees were touching as they faced each other but the brunette didn't look up. Holly didn't shy away from eye contact, not usually but that's what worried Gail. Holly refused to meet her gaze which in Gail's past experience had never been a good thing.

"Why don't you want kids?" Holly asked finally, it took her a moment to find her voice and even as she spoke it was through the lump that was forming in her throat.

"It's not that I don't Holly. It's that I can't." Gail offered softly. Holly's eyes shot up, concern and confusion marring her beautiful face.

"What do you mean? Like you can't have children? Medically?" Holly asked wondering why Gail had never mentioned anything before. It wasn't that they spent hours on end going over their past medical histories but it was usually something that came up in conversation.

"No, I think biologically I'm all good to go for children. I just can't. Like I can't let myself have kids." Gail said knowing that probably didn't help alleviate any of Holly's concern.

"Why not?"

"Because of the job Holly. It's risky and there is a more than probable chance that I could get hurt or killed in the line of duty one day. I don't want to do that to a child. I saw what happened to Leo when Jerry died. How hard it was for Traci to deal with him being gone and having Leo ask why Jerry wasn't coming home. I can't do that to a kid Holly, or to you. So I just decided that kids aren't going to be for me." Gail offered hoping that Holly might understand her point of view.

"Nothing in life is certain Gail. That doesn't mean that we should stop going after the things that we want just because we don't know what's going to happen tomorrow."

"Maybe, but I can decide this. I know that I don't want to have to subject a child to losing a parent."

"But you'd subject me to losing you?" Holly snapped. She hated how easily Gail was talking about it. How easy it seemed for Gail to talk about her own possible death as if it were a certainty.

"That's different."

"How? How is that different? You think that it would be easy for me to have Oliver or Traci come to the door and tell me that something happened to you? You think that is something that I could be able to cope with?" Holly demanded getting off the bed and walking across the room. She needed some distance from Gail, she needed to have the room stop feeling like it was closing in on her.

"Whoa, that's not what I meant."

"Then what did you mean Gail? You won't have kids because you don't want to abandon them if you get killed on the job. But you're okay with the idea that you'd be leaving me? I thought the whole point of you strapping that vest to your uniform was to make sure that you did come home every night."

"Why are you getting so mad Holly? You knew who I was when we started this, you knew that it was a risk."

"A risk sure, a risk I could handle. I didn't think that this was something that you were actually planning for."

"Of course I plan for it Holly. I know that it could happen."

"Sure, it could happen. But so could me getting hit by a car tomorrow, so could a million different freak accidents that could kill me."

"Don't say that!" Gail yelled standing up. She didn't want to think that something might happen to Holly. It was hard enough to force herself to let Holly get out of bed every morning.

"It's the same thing Gail."

"No it's not."

"If you're going to keep your life at a standstill because you're afraid of what might happen then I don't know what it is that we're doing. Clearly we won't have a future if you keep envisioning yourself getting killed."

"What are you saying?" Gail asked both anger and hurt flooding through her system.

"I don't know. I just, need some time to think. I think you should go."

It took a moment for the words to sink in for Gail. It was the first time since she had unofficially moved into Holly's house that the brunette had asked her to leave. She stood, gawking at Holly trying to get her body to move but it refused. Finally it was Holly who moved first walking first to the bedroom door and opening it for Gail and then going to the bathroom and closing the door behind her. She didn't want to watch Gail leave. A huge part of her was still confused as to why she was asking Gail to leave. But she needed to think, she wanted to be with Gail more than anything. She was happiest when she was with Gail. But that didn't take away the want she had to have children, and she didn't want to sacrifice that dream to be with Gail and wind up resenting the blonde. And likewise, she didn't want Gail to be pressured into having children with her if that wasn't truly what she wanted. Either way, they both had some thinking to do if they both still wanted to have a future together.

The first tear fell when Holly heard the bedroom door shut, and moments later the front door slamming shut as Gail left.

Thoughts?


	5. Chapter 5

**Phew, this is a long one. I just want to quickly point out that this chapter is definitely rated M. I'm about to head out of town for a couple weeks but I hope to get your likes and reviews while I'm away. I'll be working on the next chapter but I don't know if I'll be able to post it until I get back.**

**As always, I don't own the characters or Rookie Blue.**

Chapter Five

The Parade room filled with a chorus of loud applause as Noelle walked through the threshold clad in her police uniform for the first time in what had seemed like forever. Gail wanted to be happy to see the older officer returning to work, and deep down beneath the hangover and the throbbing headache Gail was sure she was actually happy but at that moment all she wanted to do was run. After leaving Holly's confused and pissed off that things had spiraled so quickly she'd gone to the Penny and proceeded to get completely shit faced until she was barely making sense to the cab driver that took her home.

She was still fuming about what had happened when she'd drug herself into the station. She just didn't understand, maybe this was where her shortcomings in relationships became truly evident. Something she'd done had managed to turn what was a simple difference of opinion to an actual fight. Gail had never seen Holly angry before, Holly didn't get angry or lose her temper so this was new. And Gail already didn't like it.

But the idea of the fight made Gail feel sick inside. More than any hangover ever had. Gail knew that she'd said something that night that had managed to trigger something in Holly she just thought that Holly understood that it was part of her job, the risk came with being a cop. It wasn't something that they talked about but she had at least hoped that Holly understood. Maybe she'd been wrong. She'd only ever dated cops who understood the risks that came with the job. She didn't have to have that conversation with them about what happens if she were to die on the job.

"Alright everyone settled down. I know that you are all as happy as I am to see Noelle back and in uniform. But we've got work to do. We've got a killer to find. I've managed to convince the upper brass that we can handle this in house and they've agreed to back off if we can produce results." Frank could see the relief on every face.

"How do you plan to do that sir? We've been over everything. Until we find something new we were hitting dead end after dead end." Nick commented.

"Stay alert, stay focused and keep on those leads. Something will turn up, no one is that good." Frank knew he was asking for miracles from his people but he knew that they could handle it.

"You look terrible." Oliver commented as they dispersed from the parade room after a thankfully brief but heartfelt speech by Frank welcoming Noelle back. Gail looked up at her partner and shrugged. He was the perfect person to talk to about stuff like this. Zoe wasn't a cop and he'd managed to make a marriage work for a while, and now he was with Celery and they were making it work despite Oliver's chosen profession.

"Long night." Gail said instead. She could tell by the look in his eyes that he didn't believe that was the whole story. But if there was one expert in Gail behavior aside from Holly it was Oliver.

"Well you're partnered with me all day so we have a whole ten hours to talk about it." Oliver said throwing his arms around Gail's smaller shoulders while they made their way out to the squad cars.

* * *

"Holly!" Looking up from her report Holly saw Steve walking towards her at such a quick paced walk he might as well have been jogging. But that wasn't what caught Holly's attention, it was the boy that was following behind him. She recognized him immediately as Leo Nash. Standing quickly, Holly pulled the sheet over the body currently laying on her table to hide it from the child's view Holly looked back at Steve.

"Detective Peck, children are not allowed in the morgue." Holly scolded in a low tone. Steve hesitated, not expecting such a hostile response.

"Sorry, look Holly I need a favor." Steve said hurried. Holly looked behind Steve at Leo guessing that the favor had something to do with that.

"What?"

"I'm supposed to be watching Leo today for Traci. But I got called in on a big case I need you to watch him for me for a couple hours." Holly's eyes widened in surprise at the request. She'd never thought that Steve would be so presumptuous, the two of them had shared a few pleasant social conversations but they weren't on the level that apparently Steve thought that they were.

"Steve, I can't really just put everything on hold to watch over Leo right now." Holly said pulling Steve aside so that the boy wouldn't hear her.

"Look I'm sorry but this is important. I'll owe you one." And then he was off before Holly could even say anything else leaving Holly and Leo standing opposite each other looking awkwardly at one another.

"Uh hi." Holly said.

"My mom's going to be so pissed when she finds out." Leo commented dropping his backpack and sitting down in Holly's abandoned chair.

"Yeah, she's not the only one. Let me finish up a few things, make a call and we'll get out of here okay?" Holly asked. The autopsy could wait, and she could call in an emergency PTO day. But the next time she saw Steve there would be Hell to pay.

"You don't have to. I can just sit here and play on my phone." Leo offered.

"Nah I don't mind getting out of here. It's about lunch time anyway. We'll go get some lunch and figure out what to do with our day." Holly said with a grin. Leo smiled at the sincerity Holly had like she genuinely didn't mind that he'd just been dumped at her door.

Holly left Leo sitting in one of the chairs while she dialed a number she wasn't thrilled about having to call. Charles would be fine with her taking the time but there was going to need to be someone to cover for her if any cases were to be called in. In less than ten minutes Victoria was walking into the lab with a very smug smile.

"Dr. Stewart." Victoria greeted looking between Holly and Leo.

"I was surprised that you were sticking around. I need a favor."

"You want me to cover your shift today. What do I get out of it?"

"Gratitude."

"Go on get out of here. I'll handle things here." Victoria said nodding towards Leo.

"Thanks."

In a little under half an hour Holly was leading Leo out of the lab and driving them to her favorite diner a few blocks from the lab. Watching with a mixture of amusement and awe as Leo attacked the cheeseburger he ordered with a fervor she'd only seen in Gail before. She was beginning to see how the two of them bonded.

"What do you want to do after lunch?" Holly asked leaning back against the booth.

"You don't have to spend the whole day with me."

"I don't mind. I mean I don't blame you for not wanting to spend the whole day with _me_. I'm kind of a science nerd. Just as Gail."

"I like science."

"Well, if that's the case I know of a really cool exhibit at the science museum."

"Dad said he would take me to that but he forgot." Leo replied dejectedly. Holly could see that Leo was trying to pretend that it didn't both him but Holly saw right through it.

"We could go, and then if he remembers then you can walk him through it and show him everything that you've learned. That's the cool thing about science, you have to experience it multiple times before you can really get a grasp on it. What do you think?"

"Cool." Leo replied trying to hide the brightness of his smile.

* * *

Traci was taking a much needed break from pouring over the cases with Valmont and Greer. Her eyes were burning and she would kill for a cup of coffee. She'd just taken her first luxurious sip of the hot when she saw a flash of red hair that she wasn't expecting to see. Putting the cup down Traci headed towards Steve where he stood talking to a uniform.

"Steve? Where's Leo? You said you'd watch him for me today." Traci demanded pulling Steve away from the uniform. Steve looked like a kid caught with his hand in the candy jar, for a minute his mouth just opened and closed trying to find the words to get him out of this. And that's when Traci's panic was replaced with blood boiling rage. "WHERE IS MY SON?!"

Her raised voice caught several officer's attention including Gail who had just returned from patrol. Steve had yet to answer Traci's question when Gail joined them and the blonde wondered if she might have to physically restrain Traci from hitting him.

"Hey Traci, don't worry Leo's fine. I got called in on a case I've been working on. It couldn't wait." Steve said quickly with his usual charming smile.

"I don't care why you're here Steve. I want to know where my son is." Traci said.

"I left him with Holly."

"Wait my Holly?" Gail asked turning her anger on Steve. He held his hands up defensively.

"Yeah, she said she'd take him for me while I handled this case." Traci shook her head disgusted and walked away phone already in hand dialing Holly's phone number. Gail turned to Steve and smacked him in the shoulder.

"What were you thinking?" Gail asked.

"This case is important Gail."

"So is Leo. Traci trusted you to watch him for the day and you just dumped him on Holly because work is more important? God I hope she dumps you for this." Gail said walking off leaving Steve gaping after the two women.

"Holly? Hey it's Traci." Traci greeted when Holly picked up her phone.

" _Hey Traci."_ Holly answered as they pulled into a parking spot in front of the museum.

"I'm so sorry Steve just told me. I can come get him…"

" _Don't worry about it. We're at the science museum now. We're going to go geek out for a bit."_ Holly said looking over at Leo who chuckled.

"Are you sure? I'm so sorry about this."

" _It's okay Traci really. I don't mind at all."_

"Okay, call me when you want me to come get him."

" _Why don't you come pick him up from my place when you get off work? Drop Gail off?"_

"Deal. Thank you again Holly."

Traci hung up and looked at the phone for a minute. She'd lucked out, but this is exactly the thing that Dex was looking for to try and take Leo away from her. This was the exact stress that she didn't need on top of the case that they were working.

* * *

The afternoon was spent with Leo leading Holly around the museum, asking her question after question about everything. She'd never seen a kid with as much passion for science since she was a kid herself. Leo had a passion for science, he lit up as she explained DNA sequences and chromosomes and how they make up who a person was. He watched, glued to the screen as they watched a video of cells dividing. They spent hours wandering through the halls, ducking into different exhibits some of them they'd been through before.

"When is your mom's shift over?" Holly asked as they exited the museum after having spent some time in the gift shop where Holly had bought Leo a few souvenirs.

"Not until 6."

"It's almost four, are you hungry?"

"Not really."

"That's where you and Gail are different. She's always hungry." Holly said fondly. She had been thinking about her girlfriend most of the day and had welcomed Leo as a distraction. She'd behaved badly when it came to their fight and she knew that she needed to apologize to Gail. Something that she intended to do later that night when Gail got off shift. But that hadn't spared her the guilty feelings that had followed her like a dark cloud most of the day.

"You're dating my aunt Gail aren't you?" Leo asked while they walked. Holly almost tripped over her own feet at the suddenness of the question. She never knew how to explain homosexuality to kids. A lot of the time she found them to be more understanding than adults but other times they just couldn't wrap their heads around the concept of people of the same gender as couples.

"I am." Holly choked out finally.

"Cool." Leo said simply.

"That's okay with you?" Holly asked. She doubted that Leo was referring to Gail as his aunt more because of the closeness of their relationship and less because Traci was dating Steve.

"She talks about you sometimes when we hang out. She really likes you."

"I really like her."

"I like you too. Most people explain science to me like I'm five and I have no idea what it is. But you talk to me like I'm a grown up." Leo said stopping at a bench and sitting down.

"You're a pretty bright kid."

Leo fell silent, his attention suddenly intent on the edge of his jacket zipper. Holly sat beside him but didn't try and engage him in conversation. Sadly, she found a lot of similarities within herself and Leo and she could only imagine how he was dealing with it. After about twenty minutes of silence Holly decided to break it.

"Your mom loves you, you know that right?" Holly asked.

"I know. But she has a busy job. She helps people so it's okay I guess."

"It's okay if it's not you know. Your mom would love nothing more than to spend all the time in the world with you."

"Yeah." Holly frowned. She knew that he was starting to doubt it. And she didn't blame him for it, he was a little boy that wanted his parent's attention and to a kid of Leo's age it seemed like his parents were too busy for him. It was heart breaking to him to always feel like he didn't come first even if that wasn't true.

"My parents were busy with their careers when I was little too. My dad was in politics and my mom was a lawyer. They were always gone, working late nights and weekends. But the days that we got to spend together, those were the best days because those were the days without work, when nothing mattered but family time. I knew that they loved me, but sometimes it was hard to remember when I was lonely." Holly offered trying to make Leo understand that she knew how he felt to some extent.

"Did you ever hate them for it?" It was torturing Leo that he was beginning to hate his parents for never making time for him. He knew that Traci loved him. She was the best mom ever. But that didn't mean that he didn't hate the nights when she said she'd be home at a certain time only to get a phone call to tell him that she would be late.

"Sometimes."

"She used to call me on her way home from work when she first started as a cop. She'd call me before bed and she would count down the minutes until she would see me. I know I've outgrown it, but sometimes I miss that."

"You should tell her." Holly insisted.

"Nah."

"Just remember Leo, your mom loves you more than anything." The sound of her phone chime indicating that she had a text message drew her attention away from the boy.

_**Victoria Silas: We have another body.** _

"Do you have to go back to work?" Leo asked seeing Holly's look change. Holly would normally have run back to work and done the autopsy herself.

"Nope. Come on, I might need your help picking something out." Holly said standing up and holding her hand out to Leo.

"What are we getting?"'

"What do you know about Xbox's?"

* * *

Gail followed Traci up the stairs towards Holly's front door, she was hesitating. She hadn't thought that Holly would want to see her so soon after the fight. Traci knocked and after several minutes Holly appeared pulling the front door open and inviting the two women inside. Immediately Gail recognized the sounds coming from Holly's living room and she looked at Holly for confirmation.

"He's waiting for you." Holly nodded towards the living room and watched as Gail appeared to sprint towards the living room.

"You bought an Xbox?" Traci asked amused while she followed Holly to the kitchen where Holly offered the detective a beer.

"I kinda screwed up with Gail. The Xbox doesn't make it better but it might at the very least help." Holly answered.

"She loves you. She's terrified that she's here so that you can break up with her."

"It was a fight. A stupid one."

"Thanks for taking Leo today. Steve had no right to do that."

"Really, I didn't mind Leo is a great kid. And I had a blast today."

"He is amazing isn't he?" Traci asked fondly.

"You used to call him when you left the precinct, count down the minutes before you got to see him." Holly saw the memory hit Traci before she continued. "You should do that more."

"I thought he hated that."

"He loves you."

A few hours and a pizza later Traci was leading Leo out to the car leaving Gail and Holly behind. It had been a pretty perfect night but once they were alone the tension surrounded them until Gail couldn't even make eye contact with Holly. Instead she just sat on the couch, controller in hand but the game was paused.

"You bought an Xbox?" Gail asked.

"I remember you saying if I wanted to keep you around I should get an Xbox." Holly said standing next to the couch, not feeling comfortable enough to sit down beside her girlfriend.

"So you do? Want to keep me around?"

"Gail, we fought. Couples fight."

"We don't." Gail countered. In the entire time they had been together they hadn't fought. Holly hadn't even appeared to be annoyed with Gail.

"It was bound to happen. I'm sorry we fought. And I'm sorry that I told you to leave." Holly said pushing off of the wall and walking in front of Gail. Kneeling down in front of the couch Holly looked up at Gail, the blonde still refused to meet her gaze.

"I went to the Penny and got really drunk." Gail confessed with a humorless laugh.

"I cried myself to sleep." Holly countered trying to prove to Gail that they both handle their sadness in different ways. Gail wasn't a crier, not usually.

"So I guess the grown up thing to do is to talk about why we fought? Cuz I still don't understand what happened. The night was going perfectly and then suddenly it wasn't." Gail hated feeling vulnerable like this. And she hated how scared it made her thinking of the possibility that Holly might leave her because of it.

"I guess I was angry with how you didn't even try and understand where I was coming from. You just decided and that was it. And then you started about you dying on the job. I guess I lost it." Holly explained hoping that Gail would understand.

"When I was dating Chris or Nick I never had to explain to them why I never wanted kids. They just, got it because they understand the job that we do and the risk. I guess I just assumed I didn't have to explain." Holly tried to pretend that it didn't sting to hear that Gail's most recent ex's had the one up on her that they understood this part of Gail's life that seemed to be a mystery to Holly.

"I get the risk of your job. What I don't understand is why you would want to put your life on hold because of what might happen. You asked me if I thought that I might want to marry you someday. And I told you that I did. But, if you're already planning on dying on the job…"

"It's not that I want that to happen. But it's a strong possible."

"What about Noelle? Traci? Oliver? They have children and they still make it work."

"Why would you want to have a kid with me anyway Holly? I practically am a kid still. I'm selfish, I run at the first sight of problems, I wouldn't know what to do when the thing cried. The way that I see it, I'm either going to die on the job and abandon you and it. Or I'll turn into my mother." Gail sighed exasperatedly. She didn't understand why Holly didn't understand.

"You won't turn into your mother Gail."

"You don't know that. Do you know what it was like growing up in my family Holly? My mom was the definition of cold. She used to yell at me for crying if I hurt myself." Gail explained.

"So this is about your mother?"

"I don't know. Can't we just chalk this up to I'm broken or something?" Gail asked struggling to get up but Holly stopped her trying to keep her from running.

"You aren't broken. If we're going to move past this I just need to understand what the real issue is. Is it because of your job? Is it because of your mother? Or is it both? I just want to understand." Gail took a deep breath, she hadn't thought about it deeply. She was afraid of the answer. But now she was going to have to, it mattered to Holly.

"I can't stand the disappointment." Came Gail's eventual answer, she spoke quietly and Holly had to strain to hear it. Looking up only when she felt the warmth of Holly's hands cup the sides of her face gently guiding her head up so that her blue eyes met Holly's dark ones. "My entire life I've been judged, I've never been good enough. I just kind of accepted it."

"Gail…" Holly knew that Gail had self-esteem issues. She hid it well, and most people that knew Gail would think that she was the most confident person in all of 15. But she struggled with her demons, and the most vocal of them was Elaine Peck.

"I was never good enough, not in school, not during my rebellious years, or the academy, and not as a cop. No matter what I do I keep hearing how much I'm a disappointment to my last name. I'm so used to it that it barely matters anymore. It still stings sure, but I've given up trying to please that woman. But having a kid, seeing disappointment in their eyes or yours? That might kill me." Gail said.

"Why would I be disappointed in you?"

"I'm not good at a lot of things Hol. And I can stand being a disappointment to my mom, to my friends. But I don't know if I'd be a good mom and I can't stand the thought that I might fail-."

"You really can't see how amazing you are can you? Any kid would be lucky to have you as a mom. You love so completely that any kid would never go a minute of any day feeling unloved." Holly saw the faintest bit of a smile cross over Gail's face at her words.

"I hate fighting with you."

"Not a fan of it either. I love you."

"I love you too." Pulling Holly towards her Gail crashed their lips together, continuing to pull until the brunette was straddling her lap. Burying her hands in Gail's blonde locks Holly deepened the kiss moaning when she felt Gail's tongue brush against her own. Gail's hands gripped Holly's hips keeping the doctor firmly against her body, anything to satisfy the need she felt to have Holly as close as physically possible.

Holly hadn't ever really understood the appeal of make-up sex. Usually when she fought with previous girlfriends the relief of no longer fighting was all she felt. But now, now she just wanted to devour Gail. To completely wash the last 24 hours from Gail's mind by over loading it with mind numbing pleasure. It didn't take long for her hands to begin to roam her girlfriend's body, fingers itching to feel the silkiness of Gail's skin.

Her fist bunched the fabric of Gail's shirt tugging impatiently until Gail leaned forward lifted her arms and allowed Holly to lift the shirt off, tossing it blindly across the living room. Taking a moment to lean back against the couch Gail looked up at Holly, her mouth going dry when she looked up and saw Holly looking down at her eyes dark with desire. Holly bit back a moan as she rolled her hips against Gail feeling the sharp jolt of pleasure shoot through her body.

Kissing along Gail's neck biting at the porcelain skin, pausing over Gail's pulse point feeling the blonde's heart racing against her lips.

"You're going to leave a mark." Gail commented breathlessly. Holly knew Gail was right, if she paid any more attention to that specific area there would be a dark bruise waiting for Gail in the morning.

"Bedroom?" Holly suggested forcing herself away from Gail.

"I like where you are right now." Gail answered working on the button and zipper of Holly's jeans. Just as she was about to slip her hands into the fabric of Holly's pants Holly stopped Gail pulling her hands up beside her head. Gail looked up at her defiantly, Holly being dominant was possibly the hottest thing Gail had ever seen. Trusting that Gail wouldn't move her hands Holly released Gail's wrists and let her hands go back to exploring the familiar planes of Gail's body. Fingertips tracing the contours of each rib and feeling the muscles of the Gail's abs tense.

"How about now?" Holly asked hotly against Gail's lips and her hands paused at Gail's pant line.

"A little lower." Emphasizing her request with the bucking of her hips into Holly. Capturing Gail's bottom lip between hers as her right hand slid into Gail's jeans and felt her girlfriend's wetness coat her fingers. Gail parted her legs as much as their position allowed, whimpering when Holly's fingers slid inside her making her buck impatiently for release. Gail couldn't think much beyond the throbbing arousal that clouded her mind, and how good it felt to have Holly inside her, filling her, driving her closer.

"These need to come off." Holly said withdrawing her hand much to Gail's displeasure. But Gail didn't have a lot of time to vocalize her protest as Holly made quick work of her jeans pulling them down enough for Gail to be able to kick them off. Taking a minute to look appreciatively at her girlfriend's choice of underwear Holly's look was practically predatory. Gail was a fan of lacy, sexy silk underwear that always served to spike Holly's arousal. But coming straight from work Gail usually had something more practical on, in this case black boy shorts and they had the same effect on Holly.

Letting her eyes roam over Gail's body Holly wondered how she got so lucky to have someone like Gail in her life. Watching Gail's chest heave as she tried to regain her breath Holly put her hands back on Gail. Kissing Gail deeply Holly slipped her fingers back into Gail's underwear, feeling Gail's teeth bite into her lower lip when she slide two fingers inside. Keeping her movements intentionally slow and rhythmic Holly wanted to prolong Gail's pleasure as long as possible finding the way that Gail was writhing beneath her sexy as all Hell.

"Holly." Gail whispered desperation and desire dripping from her voice. She normally loved Holly's teasing, Holly could keep her on the brink of orgasm for what felt like forever but it was always way more than worth it in the end. But right now, she just needed Holly. Pushing her thumb against Gail's clit, and curling her fingers each time she withdrew her fingers. Breaking her kiss Gail's head fell back against the couch, her eyes closed tightly. "God, don't stop."

Smiling at her girlfriend's earnest plea Holly moved her fingers faster, thrusting deeper until Gail's movements were erratic and she was being driven higher and higher until with one final thrust of Holly's fingers and Gail was in Heaven. It took Gail a few minutes to remember how to breathe afterwards.

"Now I understand the appeal of makeup sex." Gail said her chest still heaving as she tried to regain her breath.

"Doesn't mean that I want to fight again." Holly answered trailing kisses along Gail's neck and then across her cheek.

"Definitely not." Gail said feeling the way that her body still tingled in the aftermath of the orgasm Holly had given her. She had that slightly dazed look that Holly loved knowing that she could elicit from her girlfriend.

"What do you say we take this to bed?"

"Lead the way."

* * *

Gail woke the next day still tired and sore but utterly content as to why she woke that way. Stretching leisurely feeling the warmth of the sun over her skin she turned and found Holly still slumbering peacefully next to her. Neither of them needed to be up nor getting up for work for another hour or two. But as much as she liked to sleep in Gail never could go back to sleep after she woke up. So now she was up, and she was going to stay up.

"You're awake too early." Holly grumbled against her pillow. She woke up when Gail started to shift around bed.

"Go back to sleep."

"Nope, I'm up. I'll go start breakfast. If you'll make coffee." Holly said sitting up. Gail took a minute to watch Holly as she stumbled out of bed collecting clothing.

"I love you." Gail said as Holly pulled her tank top over her head.

"I love you too." Holly said feeling the warmth encompassing her entire chest at the sentiment.

"I want pancakes."

"Pancakes huh? And I'm assuming you want to drown it in maple syrup." Gail nodded her stomach grumbling at the thought of food.

"You're lucky you're cute."

Gail heard the sound of Holly tinkering around the kitchen before she decided to get up and join Holly in the kitchen. The smell of pancakes being cooked filling the kitchen, leaning against the wall watching Gail took in the sight of her girlfriend content to just look at Holly. She was so in love with this woman, and the thought should have terrified her. As it had each time before. Plating several of the pancakes Holly turned and saw Gail staring at her.

"Hey, you okay?" Holly asked seeing the contemplative look on Gail's face.

"Yup, you're amazing." Gail said walking into the kitchen and looping her arms around Holly's face and nestling against Holly's neck.

"Hmm sweet talker. Eat your breakfast."

Picking up a piece of fruit Holly sat with Gail at the kitchen island, newspaper spread out in front of her looking over the front page news while Gail looked at the comics occasionally chuckling to herself. Holly's phone buzzed indicating a text message that interrupted their peace. Looking down at her phone it was a text from the lab.

_**Victoria Silas: Doing the autopsy at 9am. Be there.** _

"Something important?" Gail asked seeing Holly's focused look.

"I just need to go into the lab for the autopsy on the victim that they found yesterday." Holly answered putting her phone down.

"Why didn't she do it yesterday?" Holly knew what Gail was doing. She was deciding already that she didn't want to like Victoria based on principle.

"Different working styles maybe?"

"You would have stayed late to do it." Gail boasted.

"Gail, honey I know what you're doing and I appreciate it. But really, Victoria isn't that bad. She's actually one of the best. She probably had a good reason why she didn't do the autopsy last night." Holly said affectionately.

"Still, I don't like her." Gail grumbled.

"I'm going to get ready for work. What time do you start shift?"

"Not until an hour after you. But I'll ride in with you."

* * *

Holly met Victoria just outside of autopsy both of them clad in scrubs, Holly had to admit it felt strange being only an observer when this was her autopsy. This was her arena and now there was someone else that was going to be taking the reins. Still, Holly knew that it was a) what her boss required of her and b) good to have a second pair of eyes look over the evidence to see if there was something she might have missed. As thorough as she was if she was staring at the same evidence over and over it was easier than most people would think to look over something important.

"Did you notice on the previous victims that there were no ligature marks?" Victoria asked looking up from Holly's report. Holly wanted to bite back that of course she knew that, it was noted in her report.

"We concluded that the victims were unconscious at the time. Toxicology couldn't determine what kind of drug was used, it degraded in their system too quickly." Holly replied.

"I think that should be where we start. Trying to figure out what is keeping these people from fighting back. There aren't any defensive marks on them at all. I did the preliminary examination and there isn't a single scrape or bruise that would indicate that he fought back at all." Victoria handed Holly the photos and she looked through each of them. It was odd.

"So, whoever lured them in didn't appear to pose a threat to them. If someone I didn't know approached me, getting close enough to inject me with something I'd have to think that I had the upper hand." Holly offered.

"That's the other thing that I found odd. There were no injection marks. I've been over the body twice, there isn't a single injection mark, checked the usual places the arms, butt, in between the toes, nothing. So whatever he's using can be administered another way."

"Sorry I'm late boss." Holly looked up and saw a slightly out of breath Zach coming to a skidding halt as he approached them.

"It's alright Zach. I should have called you, we won't be needing you today. I'll be assisting Dr. Silas on the autopsy." Holly offered seeing the way that Zach looked between them. They would have to be blind to miss how affronted he was at the news. He always assisted Holly, had ever since he'd arrived at the lab. He knew her habits and he knew the way she liked to do things. The idea of not going into an autopsy with her was insulting.

"Are you sure? I mean I'm sure there is something I can do to help." Zach insisted looking more at Holly than at Victoria but Victoria enjoyed the show unfolding before her immensely.

"Not my autopsy today." Holly shrugged. She could see how upset Zach was but she really couldn't be bothered with his ego at the moment.

"You're not doing the autopsy?" Zach asked finally processing what Holly said.

"Nope. Thanks Zach, but really why don't you take the day off. You've been working really hard the last couple of days." It was clear that Zach wanted to argue against that suggestion. But he bit his tongue, still he remained rooted in his spot with the doctors until finally Victoria had had enough.

"Alright look, we've got it covered. Why don't you go see if there is some paperwork or something you can process, the grownups have this one covered." Zach shot daggers at Victoria with his glare, and Holly felt bad that she found herself biting back a laugh as Zach turned on his heels and stormed off.

"That was mean." Holly scolded as they walked into the autopsy studio. Victoria shrugged, she understood Holly's fondness for the assistant. Zach had proven to have his uses but if he wasn't taking the hint that he wasn't needed than she could stand to be the bad cop in this scenario.

"He wasn't taking the hint that we didn't need him. He's a big boy, he'll be fine."

The two women went about conducting their autopsy. With the two of them it went a lot quicker than the other ones. Both available to double check each other's work to make sure that they didn't miss anything. There were a lot of similarities between this victim and the previous ones. Most notably the removal of the heart and it being replaced by another.

"This person is very good." Victoria commented as they concluded their initial autopsy and found nothing. No signs of fibers or trace that might narrow down anything. Holly pulled her mask away from her face and she pulled her gloves off throwing them away in frustration. She wanted this to be done. She wanted to find something that they could use.

"No killer is perfect. They always leave a clue or a sign. We just have to find it." Holly said but even she wasn't sure if she believed those words anymore.

"How do you want to do this?"

"I want to go over every case one more time."

"Let's get to work then."

* * *

Oliver looked over at the passenger seat and saw Gail smirking to herself, he could tell by the general pep in her step on the way to patrol that whatever fight had happened between Gail and Holly was now over. He liked seeing his favorite rookie as happy as she was with Holly.

"Are you bringing Holly to the Penny tonight? For Noelle's welcome back party?" Oliver asked as they rolled up in front of his favorite donut place.

"That's the plan."

"So you guys have gotten over whatever speed bump you guys had gone through?" Olivia asked. He remembered how reluctant Gail had been to talk about it. But when he'd finally gotten Gail to open up about the right they spent the rest of their shift talking about it. He offered what insight he had for it. He explained that while its terrifying doing what they did there was no greater reward that he'd ever found than being a parent.

"We've made up. I don't think that the topic is dead yet. But right now, we're back to being good." Gail answered feeling her stomach flip just at the thought of her girlfriend. It was a feeling that she never wanted to fade for as long as she and Holly were together. Knowing that just thinking about Holly could fill Gail's stomach with butterflies. Or knowing that she was about to see Holly soon filled her with so much excitement it couldn't be matched. Not even by the excitement a kid felt on Christmas morning.

"Good. I'm happy for you darlin'." Oliver smiled.

"You've got that look on your face." Gail knew that Oliver was plotting something, or at least scheming something. He always got a wicked smile on his face when that happened.

"I have a lot of looks Peck. I'm allowed."

"Sure you are. But not if you're planning something to do with Holly and I."

"I'm just glad that you have finally found someone worthy of you. Diaz and Collins are fine or whatever. But they were never on your same caliber. And I hope that you realize that you deserve someone who treats you right."

"Thanks dad." Gail rolled her eyes trying to play off how much Oliver's words meant to her. The sentiment, knowing Oliver cared as much as he did.

"Hey, I have to look after my favorite rookie."

"Holly and I are good Oliver. And she treats me better than I deserve sometimes."

"Good."

" _1530 - 911 call was reported at a convenient store in your vicinity. Are you available to respond?"_

"1530 responding."

* * *

"Look at this." Holly said looking up from the magnifying glass and summoning Victoria over to her. When Victoria approached Holly handed her the magnifying glass and went off to fetch something.

"Saw marks on the bone from the sternal saw." Victoria said.

"Exactly. Each type of saw makes different markings. If we can narrow down what kind of saw was used we can see who might possess one. These are different from any markings I've seen." Holly said looking at the standard issue saw each morgue had. She remembered when they had introduced the newest model, being excited for getting the new and improved model.

"It's worth a shot. I'll have them pull the records of different striations."

"I'll call the detectives."

It took an hour to compile all of the different striation patterns of the various sternal saws, flipping through picture after picture trying to match the blade with the pattern Holly finally found a match.

"The model that he's using is at least a decade old."

"Does that help us or hurt us?" Victoria asked glad to not have to look through pictures anymore.

"All morgues have to keep records of what they do with their old saws."

"Brilliant."

"Only if it helps."

"I got you're text, what's up?" Traci asked walking into the lab and seeing both women hovering over one of the victims. She had gotten better about being around bodies. When she'd been a rookie she'd hated being around bodies. The morgue had made her sick.

"We need to pull all of the records from every morgue in Toronto. There aren't many. But we need to find out what they did with their old sternal saws. This is the model number." Holly said handing Traci a picture of the saw.

"Why?"

"The victims had ha their chests cracked with this kind of saw. Whoever is doing this had to get it somewhere. Usually morgues donate their saws to hospitals, or their destroyed, if he has one then he either stole it which should be documented or he bought one which should also be documented."

"I really hope you're right. Keep looking. If this lead doesn't pan out we're going to need something else." Traci said taking the photo and already dialing, they were going to need a warrant.

"Why do you think that the killer puts the heart back in backwards? I mean, he has knowledge of anatomy. He must know how the heart should go back." Victoria asked once they were alone again.

"Carelessness?"

"Does this killer seem like the type who would make a careless mistake like this? No, it means something. We just need to figure out what it means."

"I'm open to suggestions."

"Let's hope that Traci can find something to do with the sternum saw."

"We need a break. We've been at this all day." Holly offered. Looking down at her watch Holly noticed that it was well past their lunch time.

"Buy you lunch?" Victoria offered.

"Thanks, but uh I've got somewhere I need to be." Holly said with a dreamy smile. Victoria recognized the look and knew better than to try and persuade Holly otherwise. Leaving the lab Holly was about to pull her phone from her pocket when she saw a familiar figure leaning casually against the wall, bag containing food in hand.

"Hungry?" Gail asked holding up a bag that Holly saw had the logo of her favorite deli on it.

"Starving, I was just about to call you and see if you wanted to pick up lunch." Holly said putting her phone away and looping her arms around Gail's waist.

"Miss me Lunchbox?" Gail asked playful smile pulling at her mouth. After talking to Oliver, Gail knew that there was no way that she was going to be able to not go see Holly as soon as she was physically able.

"Always. Come with me." Holly said taking Gail's free hand and leading her away from the lab and towards her office. Once they arrived at Holly's office Holly unlocked the door and opened it. Gail tossed their food onto the chair the sound of the door lock sliding shut behind her made Gail turn, her thoughts instantly drifting from food.

Holly seemed to stalk towards Gail making the blonde officer step back to lean against Holly's desk, welcoming Holly into her personal space with open arms. Gail hummed her approval feeling Holly's hands rest against the small of her back, since she was off duty for her lunch break Gail had checked her utility belt back into her locker at work.

"I have not been able to stop thinking about last night. It's very distracting." Gail attempted to make it sound like she was actually bothered by the delightful memories of the night they spent blissfully entangled together.

"I would say that I'm sorry, but I'm not." Holly said feeling her body sing as it remembered the pleasure.

Gail's hand came up behind Holly's neck, twisting the doctor's dark locks in her hand and bringing Holly closer so that her nose nuzzled against Holly's before their lips met. Capturing Holly's bottom lip between her own Gail felt that jolt through her body that she had only ever felt with Holly. For several moments lips caressed, teased, and nipped until the need to deepen their kiss was overwhelming. Their tongues danced, twisting and curling around one another until they were both breathless.

"Mm what about food?" Gail asked breaking their kiss for just a moment before reclaiming Holly's lips. She'd already forgotten entirely about the food that she'd brought. She couldn't deny the temptation of Holly's lips.

"Later."

"Well I suppose this would give me a chance to thank you for last night." Gail bit back a groan as Holly's lips trailed hot, open mouthed kisses along Gail's neck. Nipping at the alabaster skin just like she knew would drive Gail crazy.

"You did thank me. Many times last night, and this morning." Holly said her grip getting more firm against Gail's hip. She wanted to devour Gail. She could never remember being like this, she'd never had a continuous want for someone like she felt with Gail.

"So I did. Are we really going to do this in your office? Because you know I can't stay quiet." Gail protested weakly as Holly began working on the button and zipper of Gail's pants. The thrill of it making Gail throb with arousal. Shifting her weight trying to get a little bit of friction Gail bit her lip in anticipation as Holly inched closer now standing between Gail's legs.

"Not up for the challenge officer?" Holly teased her fingertips dragging along the skin of Gail's hip bone just underneath the fabric of Gail's underwear. Gail shuddered violently at the teasing touch.

"Fuck." Gail knew she wasn't going to fight Holly on this. Not now, not when she was so turned on that if she didn't have release she would probably explode. She could only pray that they had enough time to finish. Holly took that as Gail's permission, she knew that there was a sense of urgency that came along with this. They would need to be quick, if they took too long there was chance that they might be discovered and that was not something that either of them wanted to have to deal with. Besides, Holly wanted to fuck Gail.

Gail was ready for her as she slipped her first finger into Gail's wetness, the pad of her thumb pressing gentle circles around Gail's clit. Gail's head fell forward against Holly's shoulder trying to use her girlfriend's body to muffle any sounds that she wasn't able to contain.

"I like how ready you are for me." Holly whispered against Gail's ear, taking the lobe into her mouth and biting gently. Holly could feel Gail's hands gripping the fabric of her shirt in what was no doubt a white knuckle grip. Gail's hips bucked against her hand, insistent and wanting. As Holly set a fast rhythm of her fingers Gail could only hope to be able to keep up, her knees turning into putty, Gail had to use the desk as support to just keep herself upright.

Feeling the way that Gail began to tremble against her Holly knew that it wouldn't take much longer to push Gail over the edge. She added a second finger and doubled the pace of her thrusts and heard Gail struggle to stifle what would have been a loud cry.

"You have to be quiet." Holly cautioned.

"I told you I couldn't." Gail countered breathlessly, her eyes shut tight and her fingers gripping Holly's shirt so tightly her hands were starting to hurt. Increasing the pressure of her thumb drawing circles around Gail's clit Holly knew that was the quickest way to push Gail over the edge. The blonde shuttered as another moan was suppressed. She was hovering dangerously on the edge of orgasm and then Gail felt Holly's fingers curl ever so slightly.

Holly bit back her own sounds as Gail bit into her shoulder to muffle the sound of her orgasm otherwise everyone on their floor would hear Gail screaming in ecstasy. Holly held Gail as she trembled as her orgasm began to subside and Gail fell limply against her.

"Jesus woman you'll be the death of me." Gail laughed shaking her head against Holly's shoulder. Trembling as Holly withdrew her hand and brought her fingers up to her lips and tasted Gail.

"I hope not. I'm kind of fond of your existence."

"I don't know how I'm supposed to go back to work right now. My legs barely work."

"You still have about twenty minutes." Holly said wrapping her arms around Gail and pulling her close savoring the closeness of Gail to her body.

"I love you."

"I love you." Gail smiled, she'd never tire of hearing those words pass through Holly's lips. She didn't doubt them when Holly said them. And she felt their power each time they reached her ears. Gail had never understood when people tried to convince her that love had this sort of magical property over it that could turn people into mush. But standing there, and knowing that she was loved and she loved in return was the most powerful, and the most amazing thing Gail had ever felt in her entire life.

"I cannot believe we just had sex in my office." Holly laughed. She was never the most adventurous when it came to sex. Sex in the work place, while there had always been a sort of curiosity about it Holly never would have considered it before, but with Gail. Sometimes it was impossible to keep her hands off of the beautiful blonde.

"Me either. Thank God your door locks." Gail said fastening her pants and straightening, still her legs trembled slightly.

"Still going to the Penny after your shift tonight?" Holly asked her fingers teasing the back of Gail's neck.

"For a few hours. Then I get to take you home and get my revenge for this."

"I look forward to that. But, you should probably get back to work." Holly checked the clock, sure that Gail's lunch break was about to come to an end. And she was pretty sure that if Oliver discovered them he would know almost immediately what they had just done.

It was with great reluctance that Gail pushed off of the desk and allowed Holly to move away from her. But she kept their hand linked. She wasn't quite ready to let go just yet. Holly took in her girlfriend's appearance, mainly because she didn't want Gail to leave knowing that she looks like she just had sex in her office. Gail looked a little disheveled but nothing that would give away what had just transpired except for the smile that hadn't left Gail's face since.

"I'll see you later."

"Be safe."

"Always."

* * *

The Penny was filled beyond capacity, but no one was going to call the Fire Marshall on them. Most of 15 was there, except for those that were still on duty. There were toasts and cheers that rang out almost like clockwork. It was a good time, drinks were free flowing and laughter was the most common sound second only to raucous conversation. Gail sat with her friends, they'd gone straight to the Penny after their shift ended and others had been trickling in since then. The guest of honor, Noelle took her honored spot by the bar, approached by everyone and anyone who had missed her while she'd been out on leave. Frank hadn't left her side, proud of his wife and happy that they would finally be able to work together again. Oliver and also happily enough Sam had joined them. The old guard hanging together.

"We're going to be like that one day." Dov commented holding his glass out to their training officers before taking another drink. He was well on his way to getting tipsy.

"I'm alright with that." Andy chimed in looking over at their TO's fondly.

"Hey, Gail where's your lady?" Traci asked while Dov and Andy went on about the glory of their TO's.

"She's going to come by when she gets off work." Gail answered with a shrug. Traci recognized what the shrug represented though. Gail missed Holly, Traci could see it on the blonde's face. Gail was trying to hide it but every time she looked at her phone it was to either check for a text message from Holly or to check the time.

"Leo won't stop talking about the time that he hung out with Holly. I think he's got a crush on her." Traci said with a laugh. For the briefest moment Gail felt her jealousy flair until she realized that it was ridiculous and instead laughed.

"He's got good taste."

"I still haven't forgiven Steve for it though." Traci said with a hint of sadness. When she had finally answered one of Steve's many calls he'd launched into a long explanation that it was an important case and break through and there was nothing that could be done, all the things that Traci understood came with the job. But she needed to be with someone that would put Leo above the job. She needed to be with someone that understood that Leo always came first, it didn't matter if there was a break through. And then to do that to Holly, dump a kid on her without giving her a chance to say no was just wrong. He owed Holly an apology too.

"Yeah it was pretty shitty what he did. Even if it did end up working out for the best. Holly said she had a great time too." Gail answered. She knew that Holly wasn't mad at Steve, a little frustrated but Holly didn't get mad about things like that.

"He claimed that it was one of Elaine's expectations."

"I don't doubt that. The priorities of the Peck family are a little skewed."

"You seemed to be able to realize that a kid trumps work." Traci argued. Traci had been surprised when she had seen how good Gail was with Leo. And over time, after Jerry had died Traci began to realize that hanging out with Leo had as much of a positive influence on the moody blonde than it did on her son.

"I think Holly broke me." Gail offered with a shrug.

"Or just melted the icicles a little." Traci teased. Gail rolled her eyes but her snarky response died as soon as she saw Holly walking into the Penny. The pathologist had changed clothes from what she'd been wearing earlier, and was now sporting a pair of tight jeans and a grey t-shirt. It was starting to warm up so Holly had shed the sweaters and switched to breathable cotton.

"Hey." Gail greeted standing up and wrapping her arms around Holly. Holly returned the embrace and then waved her greeting to the other cops around the table. Gail sat back down, scooting to the furthest corner of the bench against the wall allowing Holly to slide in next to her. When she did Gail pulled holly to her, Holly's back pressing against Gail's front.

"You guys are too cute." Traci teased. Holly looked over her shoulder at Gail, she knew that Gail didn't like it when people called attention to it when she showed a softer side. But this time Gail didn't say anything she just pulled Holly closer.

"I missed you Lunchbox." Gail whispered nuzzling against the side of the brunette's neck.

Across the bar where the Old Guard stood enjoying their drinks Noelle nudged Oliver. Her attention caught by the scene happening across from her. Oliver looked over where Noelle was looking and saw Gail and Holly.

"When did that happen?" Noelle asked confused. When she had left to go on maternity leave Gail had just ended things with Nick and she vaguely remembered seeing Holly at her wedding.

"Peck and Holly? A few months. It took us all by surprise but if you spend some time with them it all makes sense." Noelle looked back at the two women and she could see it, there was no doubt in her mind that these were two women in love.

"Things have changed." Noelle said finding that she was still unable to look away. It was rare to see such light when in their lives and in their jobs they were haunted.

* * *

Holly ducked under the yellow police tape, her forensic kit clutched in her hand. She knew why she was there, when she had gotten the call that there was a body she knew that it was another one of the killers. Instinctually her gaze sought out Gail. Hoping to find her girlfriend, a short reassuring glance perhaps might be enough to get her through what promised to be an infuriating day. She didn't see Gail, not that she had any expectation to. Gail was on shift but she could be anywhere in the city at that point.

"This one's different." Victoria said meeting Holly at the entrance. Holly came to an abrupt stop, she wasn't expecting the other pathologist to be standing in her way, blocking her.

"Did he finally make a mistake?" Holly asked hopefully. But she looked at her co-worker and saw that there was a grim almost pale look on her face. Something had frightened her. And it took a lot to frighten or to gross out a pathologist. Holly's stomach bottomed out and her mind raced with possibilities.

"I don't think you should go in there." Victoria said in a low voice.

"Why?" Holly demanded. Victoria glanced behind her but before she could answer Holly's question the brunette shouldered passed her. Already it was different than the other murder sights. This one was inside. In an apartment building. Victoria followed but she kept her comments to herself, she knew that Holly wasn't going to heed her warning no matter what she said. So she just followed. There were uniforms swarming the hallway and she had to dodge many of them.

Giving Victoria one last look Holly walked into the room. And what she saw made her stop short. The location of the body dump wasn't the only difference. What she saw before her was a bloodbath. There was blood everywhere, and there were two of them. The bodies were staged on the floor, laying as they would on an autopsy table but it was clear that they had been killed where they lay. The incision that cut open their chests was sloppy, jagged like the killer had used a large knife and not a scalpel.

"Jesus." Holly couldn't help the exclamation that escaped her. Circling around the bodies Holly lifted her camera and started taking pictures. It was muscle memory she barely thought about it as she went through the motions. Her brain was already processing this sudden change.

"Holly, there's something else you need to see." Victoria said still lingering in the corner of the room.

"What?" When Holly turned her attention up to Victoria, Holly saw she was holding something. It had already been bagged as evidence but it was a piece of paper with writing on it. As she got closer however Holly was able to read what it said. As her eyes took in the words and her brain processed what they said Holly felt cold, cold and numb.

_Dr. Stewart, now that I have your attention let me remind you that during tests_

_you are not permitted to cheat. I will forgive your infraction this once. But don't_

_abuse my generosity. Now that this unpleasantness has been dealt with, let's continue._

**A/N: So...things are intensifying with the killer.**

**Readers have been amazing with offering feedback on how the Canadian police forces operate and what not. And because of that, I have kind of erased the 'feds' from the story. I tried to make it as seamless as possible but I wanted to explain. I am keeping Victoria though, she's important for the plot.**


	6. Chapter Six

Chapter Six

In all her years as a pathologist, Holly had seen bodies of all sorts with all different causes of death. And in each one, Holly had been able to compartmentalize. Distance herself enough to keep her sanity and still do her job, while staying resolute that she would find justice for the people who ended up on her autopsy table. But this, this was different. She didn't know how she would be able to keep it together when she looked at the sheer butchery of what lay on her table. This person, this killer was cutting people open while they were still alive. It took a special type of person to cut into someone while their heat was still beating. To look down at a beating heart before cutting it out.

"You okay?" Victoria asked walking in from the neighboring autopsy room. Holly had been staring down at the heart resting in the chest cavity for several minutes. Imagining what it would be like to see it beating in someone's chest and cut through the connecting veins and arteries.

"Fine. How's it going over there?" Holly asked.

"Just finished with the initial autopsy. About to close. Do you need help in here?" Victoria asked taking a quick survey of how little Holly had gotten done. They weren't racing but Victoria knew that Holly had the perfect mixture of speed and accuracy that most pathologists strove for and few ever accomplished. But Holly was going slowly on purpose.

"No. Thanks I'm okay."

"You're not. You've been looking at that heart for a long time. Anything you want to talk about?" Victoria asked.

"I just, I don't understand how someone can look down into the chest of a living person and cut it out. And then watch as they bleed to death." Holly explained reaching into the chest and lifting up the heart, feeling its weight in her hands before she placed it on the scale.

"This person isn't healthy Holly. We can't understand why he does this because our brains don't work that way. That's a good thing." She was trying to be comforting, and in some ways it worked. But that didn't make it any easier.

"How many autopsies have you done?"

"I've lost count."

"Me too. I used to be able to hide this, not let it get to me like this."

"He made it personal. I get it."

"You ever let it get personal?" The look in Victoria's eyes told Holly the answer to her question. Victoria might understand the aspects of their job that no one else did. The way that they needed to dull their innate compassion as human beings. But she didn't know what it was like to have a serial killer call her out by name.

"We'll catch this guy Holly."

"Every time I hear that I believe it less and less." Holly mused. She wasn't normally one to allow doubt to creep in. She needed her positivity, she needed to think that bad people were brought to justice. It was the only time she ever got to sleep at night. But the longer this case went on the more and more she began to wonder if they would ever find out who was doing this.

Victoria wanted to continue to reassure Holly that everything was going to be alright. But there wouldn't be a way for her to do that, words wouldn't mean anything. So, she just went back to work. That was the only way that she could help.

* * *

Gail rounded the corner towards Holly's lab, nearly running smack into Victoria as the doctor left to go get coffee. She and Holly had been pouring over every detail of the bodies, praying that they found something this time. For a moment both women stood facing each other too stunned to move, until finally Victoria was the first to relax.

"Officer Peck." Victoria greeted. Holly had told her that she could call Gail by name but Victoria felt odd about it. Especially since she was pretty sure that Gail hated her.

"Dr. Silas. Is Holly around?"

"She's in the lab." Victoria said looking back behind her as if Gail didn't already know where Holly's lab was.

"Thanks." Moving around Victoria, Gail had taken a few steps before Victoria's voice rang out and stopped her. Turning slowly, Gail saw Victoria come to catch up with her.

"I wanted to talk to you about Holly." Gail's brow furrowed in confusion, she'd been texting Holly all day, the brunette had seemed normal when they'd spoken on the phone a few hours earlier.

"Is she okay?"

"She's fine. She's being Holly, and I think that's the problem."

"Who else is she supposed to be?"

"That's not what I mean. She's bottling everything up, she isn't letting herself deal with what this case is doing to her." Victoria saw Gail's defensiveness fade into a genuine look of worry.

"Holly's strong."

"She's also stubborn. She doesn't want to talk about it, she just shuts down." Victoria said.

"I can take care of Holly."

"I know you can. Gail, I'm not attacking you or your relationship with Holly. What I'm telling you, as someone that works in this profession where you have to pretend that you're not working on people who used to be alive. She needs an outlet or she's going to shut down. You can only do this job for so long before it starts to wear you down." Victoria explained before turning and going back down the hall.

For a minute Gail watched the other doctor go. She'd wanted to come to the morgue as soon as she found out about the note. But Holly had told her that she was fine and all she needed was for both of them to do their job. So Gail hadn't gone down to the morgue, now she was thinking that maybe she should have gone to the morgue.

Walking into the lab Gail's mind was still lingering on what she should have done earlier in that day. She was so lost in thought that she didn't even greet Holly until Holly came up to her.

"What's wrong?" Holly asked cupping Gail's face looking at her to see if there was any physical sign as to her girlfriend's strange mood.

"Sorry, was thinking. I came to see you." Gail replied with a small smile, though there was still an embarrassed flush across her face.

"I can see that. How was your shift?" Holly asked taking in Gail's street cloths.

"It was long and tedious. And I didn't get to arrest anyone. But, that's not important." Gail rested her hands on the curve of Holly's hip keeping her girlfriend close and enjoying the heat she felt from Holly's body.

"What is important?"

"I'm off work now, and I have come to see if you would allow me to completely pamper you tonight." Gail offered. Holly's smirk was nothing short of sinful as she allowed the thoughts to distract her.

"Pamper huh?" Holly questioned seeing Gail nod slowly before her hands tightened their grip and pulling Holly forward until they were flush against one another.

"Mhm. What do you say?"

"I say, I'm off in a few hours."

"Excellent. Gives me time to prepare what I need."

"Just promise me you aren't going to cook anything." Holly pleaded, laughing at Gail's mock pout.

"Of course I'm not going to cook anything. I love you, which means that I don't want to kill you with my inedible food. So, I will pick you up when you are off work deal?"

"Deal." Holly couldn't resist leaning forward and bringing their lips together in a soft kiss. The kind of kiss that was meant to make everything that had ever been wrong in the world right again. A kiss that for the moment made Holly forget about everything else.

"Okay, keep kissing me like that and I'm taking you home right now and we'll skip the pampering." Gail murmured against Holly's lips, groaning as Holly's teeth caught her bottom lip.

"I'll see you later."

* * *

Gail leaned against Traci's desk watching her friend as she finished the last of her paperwork. It still surprised her that she was now willing to spend her off time with these people. She was one of them now. They were friends.

"So, Steve called me 12 times today." Traci said looking up at Gail. Gail wasn't surprised, Steve had screwed up epically. Leo was the most important thing in the world to Traci. To make it look like watching him wasn't his top priority was the worst mistake her could make.

"I take it that you didn't answer." Gail and Steve had always been a pair, they'd always had each other's back. Her first partner. But she couldn't agree with him on this.

"Leo and I come as a package deal. If Steve can't understand that then there's no point in wasting my time or his."

"Okay, I'm going to say this and please don't take this to mean that I'm on his side because I'm not. The way that Steve and I grew up, our parents would dump us with a stranger if it had to do with a case. It's not that they didn't care, it's just that they were ambitious. We were raised with those same values. He screwed up, and I bet you he does feel terrible for it. I'm not saying forgive him, but growing up with him with the paternal influence we had, at least I can understand." Gail offered. Sometimes Gail wondered if her childhood was so odd to other people.

"I get it Gail, I know that growing up with Superintendent Mom and Inspector Dad was tough. And it made you guy's great cops. But this is my son and I won't have him suffer through that. Leo comes first, and Steve screwed up. He's going to need to prove that he's serious about me and Leo."

"I get it." Gail said, receiving a thankful smile from Traci. It was tricky dating the brother of one of her closest friends. She wondered what would happen to her friendship with Gail if things with Steve went south.

"How's Holly doing?" Traci asked changing the subject.

"She's…I don't know. I know that she's being really hard on herself. She thinks that she's not doing enough in order to catch the guy. She'll work herself to the bone if we let her. I'm worried about her. And I don't know how to help her. I'm not used to this." Gail confessed. She was bad at this part of relationships, she was used to being the one that needed emotional support. She didn't know how to be there for Holly the way that Holly had always been there for her.

"You just have to listen. You'll find that it isn't anything that you'll say. You just have to let her speak and let her come to you."

"Just listen? I don't feel like that is enough."

"It does more than you think."

"Just listen. I can do that."

"Go get your girl."

"Thanks Trace." Gail pushed off of the desk and went to head to the morgue to pick Holly up. She was almost to the elevator when Luke called her name.

"Peck, you got a second?" Luke asked pulling her aside.

"What's up?" Gail asked antsy, eager to go and get Holly.

"I need you to do something for me. And you're not going to like it."

"With a lead in like that, I don't doubt it." Gail said shifting her weight from one foot to the other.

"I need to know about Holly's past." Luke said. Gail looked up at Luke incredulously. Wondering why he would even ask her about that.

"Why?" Gail asked defensively.

"She's not a suspect. But it's an angle that we're looking into. You know how it works Gail, we need to go to figure out why this killer called Holly out by name."

"So she's in danger?"

"No, it's just an angle that we have to look into. Just standard protocol. I'm asking you if you think that you can do this, we need to know if there is anyone in Holly's life that might want to hurt her, might be angry at her, might be trying to make her suffer." Gail couldn't describe the rage that filled her at the question, the thought that someone doing this intentionally to hurt Holly.

"There isn't anyone. Sounds cliché but she's perfect." Gail said softly.

"Then is there someone that she used to know? Someone that might have had a grudge with her?"

"I don't know."

"I need you to find out. I know this puts you in a sticky spot with you being involved with her but I think we can both agree that she would appreciate it coming from you than for someone else. Can you do it? Do your job, and treat this like a case and not your girlfriend?" Gail should have said no. she knew that she couldn't separate it.

"I can do it." Gail found herself saying though she wanted to kick herself afterwards. She tried to convince herself that she was agreeing to do it so that it wasn't someone else that would be digging into Holly's past.

"Good."

* * *

"So, how do you want to be pampered?" Gail asked playfully as they walked into Holly's townhouse. Holly laughed at the question, only Gail would ask that point blank.

"Uh, junk food, sweats and a hoodie, cuddling with you on the couch and forgetting the outside world exists." Holly said dumping her bag, already on her way up the stairs to the bedroom to change.

"I offer you a night of pampering, where you could have a candlelit bubble bath, a massage, catering to your every whim and desire. And that is what you come up with?" Gail laughed following Holly up to their bedroom.

"Simple girl with simple tastes. Plus, I think that it's more fun if we do something we'll both enjoy." Holly said as she changed. She had a favorite hoodie from her university days, it was too big for her but it was the most comfortable thing that Holly owned.

"Fair enough. I'm going to take a quick shower. Why don't you get started on the relaxation and I'll be down in a few?"

"Okay."

When Gail descended the stairs she found Holly sitting on the couch, legs crossed underneath her and game controller in hand. Since buying the Xbox Holly had barely touched the thing. She let Gail have free reign of the device. But now Holly was playing one of Gail's games, killing zombies like a pro.

"When the Hell did you learn how to play?" Gail challenged as she sat down next to Holly.

"I watch you play all the time. It wasn't hard to figure out the basic controls. And then after that I'm just shooting the things that are trying to kill me." Holly didn't take her eyes off of the TV.

"How is it that you can make video games seem nerdy?" Gail asked picking up her own controller and joining Holly's game.

"Just talented I guess."

They spent hours playing together, Gail never thought she'd see Holly play a video game but it was a fun time. Something that they could both zone out to. They played until it was way past when they should be going to sleep. It was supposed to be both of their day off the following day but they both knew that they would be working. Holly would go into the lab and work solely on this case and Gail would see what she could do to help the detectives.

* * *

Gail fidgeted nervously at the table, twisting the straw wrapper between her fingers so much that it was about to fall apart. Checking her watch again Gail saw that not much time had passed since the last time she'd checked. When the door opened she turned to look, this time she saw the person she'd been waiting for.

"Officer Peck?" Gail stood in greeting and extended her hand. Thomas looked the woman over and then shook the outstretched hand. He'd been surprised to get her phone call, and even more surprised when she had requested that they meet without Holly.

"Uh thanks for coming." Gail said awkwardly sitting down across from Thomas.

"It was a little strange to get your phone call. I figured that when we met it would be at a restaurant or something with my sister." Thomas said cordially enough. He shared Holly's go with the flow attitude for the most part and was willing to hear Gail out.

"Yeah, sorry about that."

"You're not asking for my permission to marry my sister are you? Because, I gotta say that's a little speedy." Gail couldn't tell if Thomas was joking or not.

"I'm not. I mean, not that I won't ever. But not right now. I mean, we've only been dating for a few months." Gail rambled.

"Relax Gail, I'm kidding. I assumed that you wouldn't be calling me up randomly for that reason. And given that my sister isn't here I'm guessing that this isn't a social call. So, what can I do for you?" Thomas asked. He liked Gail already. It took a lot of nerve for someone to call the sibling of someone that they were dating and suggest a solo meeting. Gail was either very confident about her relationship with Holly, or she was nuts.

"It's professional, sort of. You know the case that we're working on?" Gail asked quietly.

"I'm familiar with it."

"There was a note left at one of the crime scenes and it was addressed to Holly. This bastard called her out, we're exploring options and different avenues but one of them is that this person has some sort of vendetta against Holly." Gail explained seeing in Thomas the same response that she'd had. The instant overprotectiveness that flared and she could see in the tensing of his shoulders and the clenching of his jaw.

"Why didn't she tell me?"

"She doesn't think that it has anything to do with her. But, they want to look into anyone that might have had a motive against her, now or in the past. And I know Holly now, I don't know about her past. So, I was hoping that you might be able to lend some insight."

"Why don't you just ask her?"

"I don't want to scare her. I know I should tell her, I should be asking her. But I guess I'm just trying to protect her you know? If we find something then I'll tell her." Thomas took a deep breath, this was a terrible idea and he knew it but because he wanted to protect Holly he found himself agreeing.

"What do you want to know?"

"Was there anyone that Holly had problems with when she was younger? Like in college? Someone that might still be holding a grudge?" Gail asked.

"Look, Holly was different when she was younger. You see her as the confident woman who owns and accepts who she is. The woman who is extroverted, makes friends easily and people like. She wasn't like that when she was in college. It took a lot of building to get to where she is today. Did she make enemies? None that I can think of. But she was painfully shy when she was younger, uncomfortable in her own skin, she couldn't barely hold a conversation with someone without wanting to hide in the shadows." Thomas confessed, laughing when he saw the shocked look cross over Gail's face. It was still amazing for him to see Holly grow into the woman that she was.

"How is that possible?"

"Growing up, Holly always knew she was gay. She didn't want to accept it but she knew. I think everyone did to some degree. At least in our family. But she'd heard enough horror stories that convinced her that if she ever told anyone she would be rejected, judged, hated. So she didn't tell anyone. When she went to college, she met someone. Sounds cliché but I've never seen Holly more alive. She was so happy you know?" Thomas beamed with the memory, remembering when he was cramming for his finals and Holly would call him up and just go on and on about this new facet of her life that she'd discovered.

"What happened? I'm guessing that it didn't end well." Gail asked trying not to let jealousy cloud how she felt on the matter.

"They were together for two years I think. And no offense, but I would have thought, at the time anyway, that if there was a couple that had the potential to make it. It would have been them. They were all about each other. And as I'm sure you have experienced, when Holly loves she loves with everything that she is. Heart and soul she's just so open about it."

"I know, there's nothing like it in the world." Gail confessed. Holly's love was like Gail's own personal drug. So addictive and it always made Gail want to go back for more.

"As I said they had been together for two years when Holly found that Liz had been cheating on her."

"Jesus."

"It broke something in Holly. Shattered her completely. She withdrew, kinda spiraled a little, depression, threw herself into studies but still almost dropped out of school all together. And then, she somehow rallied. I don't know how but we were all damn close to staging an intervention but she pulled herself out of it. And became the Holly that we all know and love today." Thomas finished watching Gail take in what he'd just told her.

"It's hard to imagine Holly like that."

"I know, she didn't really open up after that. Not for a long time. Not until medical school when she met her two best friends. I'm guessing you haven't met them yet."

"Nope. I don't really play nice with others."

"No one plays nice with Lisa. Rachel can be okay, when you get her away from Lisa. But the three of them were thick as thieves in medical school. Gail, I'm telling you this because I don't want you to bring all this back up to Holly. It wasn't the best time for Holly and I know that she just wants to put it past her. There is no one that I can think of that would do this to Holly." Thomas promised.

"I don't want to bring all this back up for her. She never said anything."

"And she wouldn't. She's moved passed it. It is her past. And it should stay there Gail. I'm telling you now, Holly will not appreciate having this brought up."

"I love her." Gail didn't know what it was that made her feel the need to announce that to him. But she did. She needed him to know that she loved his sister, and that she was going to take care of Holly.

"I can see that. You know she speaks very highly of you. You're one of the only few girls that I've ever heard her mention." Gail was torn between feeling a great swell of love knowing that she meant that much to Holly to have been spoken about. But also, a sense of sadness that there was a pain in Holly's past that she didn't know about.

"Holly mentioned someone once, she said that there was a professor or something. Someone that convinced her to specialize in forensics." Gail commented.

"Dr. Franklin I think her name was."

"Would she be worth talking to?"

"Gail, this is a dangerous road you're going down. Take it from me, don't dig. If you have questions about Holly you should ask her."

"I will. Please don't tell Holly about this."

"I won't, unless she asks. Holly and I don't keep secrets." Thomas said thinking that it was only fair that he warn Gail that if Holly asked him point blank he would tell his sister that Gail had asked these questions.

"Fair enough. Thanks for meeting with me."

"Sure, next time let's do it under a more social situation. Maybe with my sister present?" Thomas asked playfully while standing. Gail followed his lead and stood.

"Deal."

Staring at the information on her screen Gail wanted to feel the jealousy fade but it only raged inside her stronger than before. The woman's photo she was looking at was beautiful, and unlike the usual searches she ran this woman didn't have a list of priors that would require her to be in the police database. She was in the police database because she was a teacher. And she was beautiful. Elizabeth Buchannan, resident of Vancouver Canada. Glancing at the clock at her desk Gail decided it was an acceptable time to call.

"Hi, am I speaking with Liz Buchannan? My name is Officer Peck with the Toronto Metropolitan Police Department and I was wondering if you had a few minutes to answer some questions about someone you went to college with…"

* * *

Gail knew that she was dancing down a very dangerous road when she pulled up to McMaster University. Thomas had warned her to drop it, but now that she had gotten a glimpse of who her girlfriend had been she needed to know more. She needed to discover more about this time in Holly's life that even Thomas didn't know. Dr. Sandra Franklin was easy enough to find, she was quite famous it seemed. Gail arrived just as the professor's class was ending and the room was packed full of students, every seat filled and people were even standing in the back scribbling down their notes.

When the class was dismissed and the students began to filter out of the room Gail pushed her way inside. Dr. Franklin was a small woman, shorter than Gail with short red hair. She wore a gray pant suit, and was put together in a way that would make most people envy because she made it look so effortless.

"Professor Franklin?" Gail asked approaching the older woman's desk.

"Office hours are from 4pm until 6pm." Came a curt reply without even looking up from the stack of exams that she had just collected.

"I'm not a student. I'm a police officer with 15th Division, Toronto Metropolitan Police." Gail announced watching as the other woman looked up slowly, suspicious even.

"Police?"

"Yes ma'am. If possible, I have a few questions about a former student of yours." Gail could see the curiosity in Dr. Franklin.

"I don't suppose you'll tell me why."

"I can't comment on an ongoing investigation. But, it's in regards to a former student of yours Holly Stewart." Gail said.

"Holly Stewart, that's a name I haven't thought about in a long time. She was a remarkable student, one of the only students I've ever had that received top marks on all of my exams. With bright students like that I try and recruit them as TA's. Holly was my TA for two years. Is she alright?" Curiosity went to concern as quick as lightning.

"She's fine. I was wondering if you could tell me a little about her as a student, if she had any enemies, rivals, anyone that might hold a grudge."

"Officer, this is medical school. Rivalries are expected. But if you're asking if there were any out of the ordinary hostilities I can't recall any. She's alright though yes? If the police are involved…"

"I promise she's fine. We're just tracking down some information. Thank you for your time." Gail said with a professional smile.

"This is about those murders. The ones that have been all over the papers and the news." It wasn't a question, and Gail wasn't surprised that it was a statement. The media really had taken the story and run with it.

"As I said, I can't comment on ongoing investigations."

"You don't have to comment, you're lack of commenting is validation enough. Don't worry though officer, you haven't technically commented on the investigation except for ask me about a former student." Gail looked at the professor, her mind effectively blown with the weird way that she'd been able to get Gail to admit information.

"Thank you again for your time. If you can think of anything, here's my card. Please don't hesitate to call." Holding the card out Gail watched as Dr. Franklin reached out slowly, her hand shaking almost as if she were nervous but she wasn't. She took the card and realized Gail's close scrutiny over her hands and quickly withdrew them.

"You haven't really asked me anything for which I need to think about. Officer…sorry you never did tell me your name."

"Peck, Gail Peck."

"Officer Peck, I used to work for the city as a medical examiner. I understand the need for discretion, but I can't exactly help you if you don't tell me what it is you're looking for. You want to know about Holly's time as a student why don't you ask her? I'm sure she would be far more qualified than I am to tell you about it."

"We're trying to get objective views, talk to as many people as we can get as clear a picture as possible."

"I understand. I suppose the most I can tell you about Holly was that she was an excellent student, always studying always trying to absorb information. I remember she used to read ahead from the lessons in class and I would need to give her the assignments in advance otherwise she would grow bored." Dr. Franklin said lost in a nostalgic moment.

"Sounds like Holly."

"Ah, so you've met her."

"We're acquainted."

"But you won't ask her about her life as a student? Is she under investigation for something?"

"Nice try Professor." Dr. Franklin laughed softly at being caught trying to pry.

"Do let me know if there is anything I can do to help. I remember Holly well officer Peck. She was one of my favorites."

"Yeah, I hear we have you to thank for her being the best forensic pathologist around."

"Is that right?"

"She credits you to being the reason why she chose forensic pathology." Gail explained. Dr. Franklin's smile grew at the compliment.

"I just gave her a gentle nudge. She did the rest on her own."

"Please call if you can think of anything."

"I don't know how much help I'll be but I will."

Gail returned to her car, getting in she pulled her phone from her pocket. She'd felt it buzz while she was talking with Dr. Franklin but didn't look. It was a text from Holly.

_**Holly Stewart 1:12pm: We found some foreign DNA on one of the bodies. We're running it now.** _

_**Gail Peck 1:36pm: On my way back now. Keep me posted?** _

Gail didn't get a response back from her text, but she wasn't expecting one. She was filled with an overwhelming sense of excitement. The killer had never left any sort of evidence before and to be stupid enough to leave DNA evidence on the body might be enough to figure out who was doing it.

When she arrived at 15 she made a beeline for Traci. It seemed like everyone got a similar call that she did. The detectives office was full of people all waiting around hoping for good news.

"Think that might be our big break?" Dov asked excitedly.

"Let's not get too excited." Traci cautioned.

"It's something. The killer has never left anything before."

* * *

If Gail thought that meeting with Thomas had been nerve wracking then this was nerve destroying. Walking off of the elevator at the hospital, walking down along the hallway on the cosmetic surgery floor. Gail hated hospitals, but she needed to talk to Lisa and that was where the admissions desk said that she was. Stopping at the nurses station Gail asked the nurse where she could find Lisa, only to have the brunette woman be waved over.

"Can I help you?" Lisa asked looking Gail up and down. It didn't take long for her discover who Gail was. She'd heard Holly talk about Gail enough to remember what her last name was.

"Do you have somewhere we can talk for a minute or two?" Gail asked.

"What's this about?"

"Holly." Gail answered quickly. It was clear that Lisa didn't want to talk to Gail. Gail could feel the judgment from Lisa and they had only just met. They were both in uniform, Gail with the protection of her vest and the security of her gun belt. But Lisa's uniform somehow made her more important, her scrubs with her white lab coat like Holly's.

"We can talk in my office. This way." Lisa said turning and leading Gail to the large corner office.

"Lots of money in the plastic surgery." Gail commented as she walked into the office.

"What about Holly?" Lisa asked.

"When's the last time you talked to her?" Turning her attention to Lisa, Gail switched to her professional persona.

"It's been a while. She's been busy with work. But probably about a month ago. Before you started occupying all of her time." The biting accusation did not go unnoticed.

"Excuse me?"

"Since the two of you have started this relationship she hasn't really made time for her friends." Lisa explained sitting down at her desk.

"If you're implying that I'm forbidding her from seeing you-."

"I wouldn't. Holly's too independent to let someone tell her who she can and can't see. But still, Holly used to make time for her friends even when she was busy with work. So, why don't you tell me why you're here and what this has to do with Holly?" Lisa's patience was wearing thin.

"Does she have any enemies that you know of? Any rivals?"

"Why?"

"It's an avenue that we are exploring that the suspect in a case that we're working on might be in some way be connected to Holly."

"Why would you think that? Like he's targeting her? What are you doing to keep her safe?" Lisa demanded her eyes burning into Gail.

"We're doing everything to keep her safe. And it might not have anything to do with Holly but it's something that we have to look into. So, please answer the question."

"Medicine is a competitive field. Holly graduated top of our class in medical school. She could have had any specialty she wanted, there were a dozen or so programs that wanted her. But instead she decided to poke at dead people. It didn't piss anyone off if that's what you are wondering. Just confused and disappointed a lot of people. So now a psycho is targeting Holly?" Gail felt her temper begin to run thin as she listened to Lisa belittling Holly's chosen career.

"Not everyone finds gratification in serving the vanity of the over privileged. Holly isn't being targeted but we're trying to figure out if maybe it's someone that Holly's met before. Someone who might be trying to make a point to her." Gail explained. She hoped that she could get Lisa to cooperate just out of caring for Holly.

"There isn't anyone I can think of."

"Thank you for your time."

"You know you aren't good enough for her right?" Lisa asked before Gail could leave.

"What?"

"Holly is successful, she's smart, and she's beautiful. Why would she want to settle for a beat cop when she could date people of her own social class? What kind of salary do you bring in? You think that you can support her and make her happy forever?" Lisa's questions cut away the confidence that Gail was beginning to have in her relationship with Holly. It played on the insecurities that she'd been trying to ignore that had been nagging at her mind anyway.

"You don't know anything about me."

"I know that Holly deserves the best. And I don't know if you can give that to her. Not to say that you won't try I'm sure."

"Thank you for your time. I'll be going now." Gail growled opening the door and walking out.

Gail returned to 15 practically fuming, Lisa's words replying over and over in her mind cutting more painfully at her confidence each time. What if Lisa was right? What would happen when Holly woke up one morning and realized that she was settling into a relationship with Gail but she deserved so much better? Gail didn't think that she could handle losing Holly.

"Hey Gail…whoa you okay?" Dov asked seeing the look on his friends face.

"Fine."

"You're not. I know that look, that's someone did something to severely piss you off. Usually that's me. But as far as I know I didn't do anything. So, what happened?" Dov insisted following Gail into the abandoned locker room.

"Don't worry about it."

"Come on Gail. I wanna help if I can."

"I just had a rude awakening."

"About?"

"Holly, and how I'm nowhere near good enough for her." Gail confessed leaning against her locker, feeling the cool metal send a shiver down her spine.

"That's not true. You know that right?" Dov offered putting his hand on Gail's shoulder. Their past may have been complicated, he had started out hating her like most of them. But Gail had proved to be one of the best friends Dov could have hoped for. She may be mean, and snarky most of the time but she was also the greatest source he had for support. And it always came when he least expected it.

"Isn't it? She's a doctor, and I'm what? A beat cop."

"Holly doesn't care about what you do. She's not dating you because you're a part of the Peck dynasty. She's with you because she loves you." Dov said.

"I want to believe that."

"Don't do that to yourself Gail. You deserve the greatest happiness."

"Please."

"Come on Gail, I've seen you with Chris and with Nick and each time I've seen you hurt. They didn't love you like you deserved to be. But Holly does. So really, I know that you're tempted to do that Gail Peck thing where you shut everyone out. But Holly is the best thing that I've seen happen to you since I've known you." Dov could see that she was at least starting to believe him.

"Thanks." Dov bit back the instinct to tease her, this wasn't the time to do that.

"Who'd you meet that told you all that crap anyway? I mean, anyone that would tell a Peck that she wasn't good enough must be crazy."

"Doctors apparently don't travel in the same circles as cops. My last name didn't do me any favors."

"Well, if whoever it was is a friend of Holly then I'm sure that they just need to spend more time with you. You don't always give off the friendliest vibe when you first meet someone." Dov cautioned.

"I don't really want to spend any more time with Lisa than I have to." Gail grumbled. The two of them walked out of the locker room.

* * *

Holly was just packing up her stuff for the night when her phone rang. She wasn't surprised she was supposed to pick up Gail and go to the Penny with some of the rookies and Gail always liked to call to see when Holly would show. She didn't even look at her phone before answering it.

"Hey." Holly greeted.

" _Holly?"_ Holly's blood ran cold when she heard the voice she hadn't thought about in years.

"Liz?"

"Hi, I know it's super random me calling you after so many years. But I wanted to see if you were alright." Holly hesitated, it was strange to hear from Liz even if the length of time wasn't strange enough the manner in which they ended things was enough to ensure that they probably shouldn't have ever spoken again.

"What do you mean?" For a moment there was hesitation on the other line and Holly needed to check her phone to make sure that they hadn't lost the connection.

"I got a call this morning from an Officer Peck with the Toronto Police. She was asking me a lot of questions about you and about us when we were in school. She only told me that she had to ask these questions because of an investigation but she wouldn't tell me anymore. I was worried." Liz explained her laugh came through the other end of the phone and Holly felt some of the confusion fog lift. Gail had called Liz? How would Gail even know about Liz? Why?

"Thanks for worrying about me. I'm fine. I'm sorry that you were called, it must have been some sort of mistake." Holly rambled.

"Are you sure? She sounded pretty concerned about you. You know, if you're in some kind of trouble you could always come back to Vancouver for a while. I know we didn't leave things on the best of circumstances but…" Liz trailed off, realizing how stupid what she was saying was. She was inviting her ex-girlfriend out to Vancouver while she was still dating the man that she cheated on Holly with.

"Thank you for the offer but I'm really okay."

"Okay. I'm sorry again Holly, for everything."

"It's forgiven Liz. Have a good night."

Holly looked down at her phone for a few long minutes, processing what just happened. How could that have just happened? Gail had called Liz, the only way she could have known about Liz was if someone told her. Grabbing her stuff Holly left her lab, brushing past Zach and ignoring his question of if she was alright while she walked to her car. She needed to sort this out.

The officer manning the desk at 15 didn't even as Holly for her credentials anymore, she was there so often they knew who she was even if it had nothing to do with Gail. But as she walked into the station and saw everyone as they went about their day working, she didn't see her girlfriend. She had trained herself to always seek Gail out, she didn't even think about it now. Whether it be at a crime scene or at the Penny, Holly would always scan the crowd until she spotted her girlfriend.

"Hey Holly, how's it going?" Andy greeted with a friendly smile.

"Have you seen Gail?"

"She's around somewhere." Andy answered not realizing at all the storm that was slowly brewing under Holly's calm exterior. Holly wanted to yell, and she didn't ever yell. It wasn't in her character to yell and vent her anger, she was more of a talker. But today she'd make an exception.

"Andy can I ask you a question? Kind of an off the record kind of question." Holly asked lowering her voice.

"Sure."

"Am I under investigation for something?" Holly asked. Her question must have taken Andy off guard because the brunette officer's eyes widened.

"Why would you think you were under investigation?" Andy asked her voice louder than it needed to be.

"Just a hunch. I need to talk to Traci. Do me another favor, if you see Gail will you send to Traci's desk for me?"

"Sure thing."

Traci looked up when she saw Holly approach. Unlike Andy though, Traci could see the look of fury that blazed just behind Holly's usually compassion filled eyes.

"Uh oh, what'd Gail do now?" Traci asked. Probably the only other person qualified to understand what dating a Peck was like. And they were an infuriating bunch.

"Gail called my ex-girlfriend from college and asked her a bunch of questions about my past." Holly said.

"She did what?" Traci nearly screeched.

"Yeah I just got off the phone with my ex. What's going on Traci? Am I under investigation or something?" Holly demanded.

"No, absolutely not Holly. I don't know what Gail was thinking but we did not ask her to look into your past." Traci promised.

"I might have." Luke chimed in having overheard Holly.

"You might have?" Traci demanded turning to her fellow detective.

"We needed to know if anyone might have a grudge against you, someone who might be thinking of this as sort of a revenge thing. Calling you out at a crime scene." Luke explained shifting uncomfortably at the pure, raw rage that was being directed towards him.

"How about just asking me instead of having Gail snoop around behind my back?" Holly asked arms crossed.

"I just told her we needed to know these things. I didn't tell her how she needed to get the information. I figured she would talk to you." Luke defended. Holly glared at the man and then looked away, she wasn't angry at him. He was just doing his job. And so was Gail to an extent but this, this was a violation of privacy. She needed to know how Gail found out about Liz in the first place.

"Holly, I know you're angry-."

"I'm not angry I am pissed off." Holly fired back.

"Gail was just doing her job." Traci offered. "Albeit she did it in probably the most idiotic ways possible. What is with those two, Steve and Gail? It's like they don't operate under the same rules the rest of us do. They don't expect us to be upset when they do stuff like this." Traci ranted.

Holly saw the flash of her girlfriend's blonde hair walking into the precinct talking to Dov about something. She was smiling, she was happy. Something that was happening more and more recently and Holly would normally have taken comfort in that and been warmed by the thought that her girlfriend was having a good day. But this time, she was too angry.

"Holly, please don't make a scene. That won't do anyone any good." Traci warned she could see Holly's intentions and she didn't know if she should be legitimately concerned for her friend. Traci would have thought Holly was well within her rights to slap Gail for what she did.

"I won't make a scene Traci. As tempting as it is." Holly replied. Andy found Gail and delivered Holly's message to her and as quickly as she saw Holly she knew that Holly knew what she'd been up to that day. She thought for a moment about running, she could probably get away with it too. But if she ran she'd never be welcomed back into Holly's life again, she knew that running was a coward's way of handling the situation. Running was her first response when things got rough but she wanted to show Holly that she was getting better. Maybe it would buy her some good grace when it came to the lashing she was about to take.

Walking up the few steps to the detectives desks Gail walking towards Traci's desk afraid to meet Holly's eyes.

"Hey." Gail greeted quietly as close to tail between her legs as anyone had ever seen Gail Peck.

"How did you find out about Liz?" Holly demanded.

"Holly…"

" _How?!"_ Holly growled.

"Thomas told me."

"My brother? You asked my brother about my past?" Traci winced realizing that things just got a whole lot worse. She had no idea if she was about to witness the destruction of one of the best relationships she'd ever seen.

"I was doing my job." Gail winced at her words, she knew that was the worst thing she could possibly say. She needed to be groveling, she needed to be begging for forgiveness right now. Not getting defensive and definitely not trying to make it seem like she had a right to do what she'd done.

"Your job required you to dig into my past? To ask people questions about me? People who I have tried for years to forget. And now they call me up because they're worried about me because a police officer is calling them asking them if I have any enemies or people who might want to hurt me?" Holly's self-control was beginning to fade and she was getting very close to yelling.

"I'm sorry. I should have talked to you first."

"You're damn right you should have talked to me first! How could you think that this was okay?"

"Can we go somewhere more private to talk about this Holly? Please." Gail pleaded. She didn't want other people to see this. In that moment she was convinced that Holly was about to break up with her and she didn't want there to be any witnesses to that.

"Who else did you talk to? I need to know Gail."

"I talked to Thomas, Liz, Dr. Franklin, and Lisa." Gail watched as each name she listed seemed to be like a physical slap across Holly's face.

"Find out what you were looking for?" Holly asked, her chance to yell approached and she found she didn't. Her anger was powerful, palpable, and short lived replaced instead by the much more potent pain of feeling betrayed.

"Holly-."

Holly reached down to Traci's desk, grabbing a pen and a blank notepad she found there and started scribbling. No one said anything while she wrote, until finally she stopped and tossed the notepad back down onto the desk. It was filled with Holly's writing.

"Those are the names of everyone I can think of that you might want to talk to about my past." Holly said before walking past Gail without another word. Traci didn't know if she should tear into Gail for what she had done or if Gail was doing a fine enough job of that as it was.

"Did my relationship just end?" Gail asked finally, looking at Traci like she was about to crumble apart. Sure, she'd done this to herself but Traci had only seen Gail look like this right after Jerry died.

"I hope not."

* * *

Holly was on her second box of tissues when she heard a knock on her door. She looked at it, assuming that it was Gail and determined to ignore it. Her phone had been ringing almost non-stop with Gail's attempts to contact her. When the knocking continued Holly forced herself up and walked to the door, if it was Gail then Holly would just send her away. But when she looked through the view port she was surprised at who she saw there.

Pulling the door open Holly saw Sandy Franklin standing at her door. It had been years since Holly had seen her old professor.

"Dr. Franklin." Holly greeted wordlessly inviting the elder woman inside once she recovered from her shock.

"Please, Holly. I think we know each other well enough to call each other by our first names." Sandy said playfully.

"I'd ask what you were doing here but I have a pretty good idea. You didn't have to come all this way."

"It's hardly a long way Holly. Besides, it's not every day that a police officer asks me if there is someone with a vendetta against one of my former students. I had to come and see with my own two eyes that you were alright."

"Alright? I'm not sure I know what that feels like anymore." Holly confessed.

"Why don't you pour me a mug of tea and tell me all about it."

Their talk went into the early hours of the morning, they talked about everything from Gail and the recent developments of their relationships to the case that had been stumping her. When she was in school, towards the end of her schooling actually, Sandy used to give Holly old cases that had already been solved and she would ask Holly to figure out who did it based on the evidence. Sometimes Holly would get it quickly, other times Holly would sit in Sandy's office going over every bit of evidence that didn't make sense.

"Are you staying in town?" Holly asked as their night drew to a close.

"I will be for a while. Finals just finished up and I had some down time. Besides it's been a while since I've had a good mystery to focus my attention on."

"I welcome the help."

"Try and get some sleep. I'll call you tomorrow." Holly walked Sandy to the door and bid farewell to the woman she hadn't realized she'd missed so much.

"Lunchbox." Holly heard Gail's voice calling out to her before she could close the door. Gail had driven over to Holly's as soon as she was able, she'd still been working up the courage to knock on the door when she'd seen Holly walk Sandy out.

"I'm not talking to you Gail. I'm too angry, and I'm going to say things I might regret. You should just go home." Holly warned.

"I want to talk about this."

"Now you want to talk? Now? Instead of when you were sneaking around behind my back about my past. You don't get to decide when we do or don't talk about things Gail. I'm angry, and I'm hurt."

"I'm not going anywhere. I'll stay out here all night if I have to. I screwed up. I let my job take priority when I should have just talked to you about it. Please, Lunchbox. Let me fix this." Gail pleaded. If she thought it'd help she would have gotten down on her knees to beg for forgiveness but she didn't think that it would help.

Holly stared Gail down, she had no doubt that if Gail said she was going to stay then she was going to stay. For how angry she was at Gail she couldn't make her girlfriend stay outside in her car all night. It was cold. But God, she was still so angry.

"You can sleep in the guest room or on the couch I don't care which." Holly said turning on her heel and walking inside allowing Gail to follow her.

**A/N: I dunno, is Holly over reacting? Do you think she'll forgive Gail?**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

Gail woke up feeling as exhausted as she had when she had fallen asleep, she was on the couch with one of Holly’s throw blankets kicked towards her feet. It seemed appropriate that she be sleeping on the couch given the dog house that she had found herself in. There was a familiar, warming aroma of coffee filling the downstairs that greeted her as she stumbled into the kitchen. But resting against the coffee pot was a bright yellow post-it note.

Lock up when you leave.

Have a Nice Day

  * H




Somehow the words written stung more because they were kind. She could tell in the subtext of Holly’s note that her girlfriend was still angry. Not that she blamed her girlfriend for being angry. She’d betrayed Holly’s trust in the worst ways, she’d done what she always does in relationships and sabotaged it. She could only hope that she could fix it.

Pulling out her phone Gail texted out a brief message. She knew better than to call Holly, reaching out like that would not be what Holly wanted. But that didn’t mean that she didn’t want to let Holly know that she was thinking about her.

**_Gail Peck 7:14am – I love you._ **

It was a low blow and Gail tried to justify to herself that it was an okay thing to send. Because it was the only thing that she knew Holly would respond too. It was one of their unspoken rules. Since the first time they’d exchanged ‘I love you’s’ if one of them said it then the other said it back. Even when they were fighting.

**_Holly Stewart 7:16am – Me too._ **

“Ouch.” Gail whispered to herself looking down at her phone before tossing it onto the counter.

**

Holly looked down at the coffee that had been placed in front of her, and then turned her attention back towards Thomas. At least her brother had the decency to look ashamed. He’d known why she was there before she had even told him. Now they’d sat in silence for several minutes, he was waiting for her to rip into him. Not to say that he didn’t deserve it.

“You’re mad.” Thomas stated, figuring that starting with the obvious would be a good way to break the silence.

“You told Gail things about my past that you shouldn’t have. You helped her go behind my back in this. Of course I’m mad.” Holly said pinning Thomas with a glare. He’d always envied her ability to glare, if she’d turned to law enforcement there wouldn’t have been a single criminal that could withstand her gaze for long.

“She was worried about you and one of her superior officers told her to look into your past. She asked me where she should start.”

“And you should have told her to come to me!” Holly shouted, her voice echoing in Thomas’s kitchen.

“I know I should have. But as I told her, I didn’t want to bring up all of the things that you’ve tried so hard to move past.”

“I’m not made of glass Thomas. I lived through my past.”

“Yeah barely. I was there remember?” Holly stumbled, he was right. The tidbit of what he gave Gail to go on was only a part of a bigger picture.

“So I should just forgive her? Or you for that matter? If she’d just asked me then I could have explained it my way. Not having to deal with my past suddenly showing up.” Holly said defeated. Thomas reached over and covered his sister’s hand. He felt bad and she knew that. But that didn’t solve the fact that Holly’s past had just shown up.

“I’m as guilty as Gail is.”

“I know.” Holly said pulling her hand away from his and standing up. Giving him one last look before turning and leaving the kitchen.

She was half way to her car when her phone rang. The number popped up on her phone as the lab.

“Dr. Stewart.” Holly greeted. Getting into her car Holly waited to start the engine.

“You know most people don’t answer their work phone when it’s their day off.” Holly heard Zach’s voice through the line, she could hear his smile.

“You know I have all of my work calls forwarded to my personal phone. And if you’re calling me then that means that my day off has turned into a work day. What’s up?” Holly glanced into her back seat. She always kept a spare forensics kit in her car in case she got called into work from home. It saved her a trip to the lab.

“Charles wants you at the lab. There have been some developments.”

“I’ll be there in 20 minutes.”

**

Gail walked into the locker room before her shift, the room was already occupied by her friends and somehow seeing them compounded the guilt that she was feeling for how things were with Holly. Her demeanor was obvious to her friends as she walked in, opening her locker with a loud slam and pulling out her uniform. They all shared glances, silently debating who was going to ask if Gail was alright.

“Gail? You okay?” Traci asked, she was the most sure that Gail wouldn’t have her usual hostile reaction.

“Holly is mad at me.” Gail answered vaguely. Looking around the locker room expecting judgment from them. She didn’t know what to expect from the fact that she didn’t see any judgment, just understanding.

“Did you fight?”

“I wished we had. Instead she left this in the kitchen for me.” Gail stuck the post-it against the locker next to Traci.

“She told you to have a good day.” The confusion was clear in Traci’s voice.

“She never tells me to have a good day. She always tells me to be careful, or to be nice to you guys. She has never once told me to have a good day.” Gail explained. She knew that her friends might not understand the complexities of her relationship with Holly, but it was significant. Where they might see Holly’s note as being the usual compassionate and loving self, Gail saw it as her girlfriend being cold.

“Did you apologize?” Andy asked, they’d come a long way towards mending their friendship. But she wasn’t sure if they were at the point where she could ask something like that to Gail.

“I did. And you know how hard it is for me to apologize.”

“She knows you’re sorry Gail, maybe she just needs time.” Chloe offered.

“And I want to give her time but it would also be really nice to know that my relationship isn’t going to end either.” Gail sighed closing her locker and leaning against it defeated. Before anyone could offer any more advice Traci’s phone buzzed drawing their attention to the device.

“Damn.” Traci mumbled.

“What’s up?”

“You’re day is about to get a whole lot worse. Your mom is in the parade room, she’s demanding all of us. Now.” Traci said leading them out of the locker room.

Gail was the last one to enter the parade room, she could see her mother standing at the front of the room talking to Frank and Luke. Once they were all in the door closed and Elaine turned her attention to the band of younger officers.

“Six bodies, no suspects, no leads, someone better explain to me how that is possible.” Elaine stated, her voice harsh and unforgiving. Gail felt like she was a little girl again getting scolded for not being good enough.

“Ma’am we’re looking, there just aren’t any leads.” Traci offered bravely.

“So what you’re telling me Detective is that a serial killer is better than what is supposed to be the best Division in Toronto? I really hope that isn’t what you’re telling me.”

“No ma’am. But we can’t narrow down a suspect list when there isn’t any physical evidence. We’ve run down every lead and we’ve come up with nothing. We’ve exhausted most of our options until the killer makes a mistake.”

“And is that what we’re supposed to tell the victim’s families? That their loved one is dead because the killer was too smart for us?” Elaine pinned Traci with her glare, it was a test to see if Traci would back down. Gail knew that glare well.

“With all due respect we’re doing the best we can.” Traci wasn’t going to back down, she was going to stick to her guns because she knew that everyone was doing everything they could, working on and off the clock.

“Where are we at with Dr. Stewart?” Gail’s head turned so fast she almost gave herself whiplash.

“What do you mean?”

“It’s clear that she has something to do with this. So, where are we at with determining if she is either a suspect or if she is a potential victim?” Gail had to physically bite her lip to keep from saying something that would either get her backhanded or get her in trouble professionally for cussing out a superior officer. She was very aware that everyone was glancing at her, expecting a response but she wasn’t going to give them one.

“Dr. Stewart is not a suspect in this investigation.” Luke offered.

“Well, this perp definitely has an affinity towards her. So, where are we at finding out what that is?”

“We’ve looked into her past, looking for anyone who might be holding a grudge or might be trying to make a point. So far we haven’t come up with anyone.”

“How about people she knows now?”

“She hangs out with cops, her friends are doctors with no priors and no motives.”

 

“Well I have a meeting with her later so we’ll see. Until then, I want us to handle this as if Dr. Stewart is a potential victim. Whoever is doing this is trying to get her attention.” Elaine looked to Frank for his agreement, he offered no objection.

Gail looked at her mother, wishing that she could express silently the scathing thoughts that suddenly had bursting in her mind. She wanted to think that her mother wasn’t this devious. To set up a meeting with her girlfriend so that Gail wouldn’t be there to play buffer between the two of them. Gail wanted to think that her mother wouldn’t use an occasion such as this to meet Holly and provide her own judgments on her and Holly’s relationship. It was true that Gail had been trying to keep her mother from Holly as much as possible.

The meeting began to dissolve shortly after that, but Gail made a bee line for her mother. Wanting to confront the older woman in hopes that she might glean some idea as to what Elaine wanted to talk to Holly about.

“Why are you meeting with Holly?” Gail demanded in a hushed voice, Elaine looked at her daughter and saw the fire of defiance behind sky blue eyes. Gail had slowly gotten better at standing up to her mother. Growing the backbone that Elaine had insisted she should have “as a Peck”.

“As a part of the investigation Gail.” Elaine answered as if it were obvious.

“So this has nothing to do with the fact that she and I are in a relationship and you have been insisting that you meet her?” Gail accused. Elaine tried to look shocked but Gail saw right through it, Elaine was playing innocent but Gail knew that Elaine’s motives weren’t as noble as she thought they’d be.

“I’m going to speak with Dr. Stewart about a case that she is working on. Whatever else we might discuss is between us.”

“Mother, please don’t do this.” Gail was begging, actually honest to God pleading with Elaine not to do this. With her relationship with Holly already on thin ice the last thing she needed to do was send her wrecking-ball of a mother in and dash whatever hope she would have to fix things.

“Gail I don’t know what you’re so worried about. I’ve already given you my support of this…relationship you have. I don’t intend on sabotaging or whatever it is you think that I’ll be doing. I need to speak with Dr. Stewart, one professional to another. And I intend on keeping it that way.” Elaine said. And Gail thought for the first time her mom might be telling her the truth. She wanted to think that for once in her life her mom might actually be supportive of something that was important to her.

“I’m sorry, Holly means a lot to me.”

“I can tell. We’ll keep her safe Gail.” Elaine promised before she left her daughter standing flabbergasted as she returned to talk to Frank.

***

“Absolutely not.” Holly exclaimed firmly, looking around the large office at the two others that were looking at her. She could tell that her outburst surprised them but she didn’t feel bad. She wasn’t going to let her entire life get uprooted any more than it already had, and having a uniformed officer following her 24/7 was not something that she would accept.

“It’s for your protection.” Elaine tried to reason.

“I don’t want to waste resources that could be used catching whoever is doing this. Don’t you think that if I was his target then he would have come after me already?”

“Holly, we’re worried. Whoever is doing this has a fixation on you and you don’t seem to want to accept that. I am insisting that you have this protection. They can stay outside, in an unmarked car if you want. As unobtrusive as possible, someone from 15 Division that you know.” Charles placated looking between Holly and Elaine.

“Do I even have a choice in this? Are you guys asking me or telling me that I’m going to have a police officer parked outside my house every night?” Holly demanded standing up, she needed to move she couldn’t just sit while they told her that she had no choice in who was going to intrude into her life. She enjoyed her friendship with the officers of 15 Division. But she wanted to keep it that way, social. Not professional.

“As of right now, I’m insisting as your superior that you accept the protection detail being offered to you.” Charles said firmly. He hated pulling rank with Holly, knowing that if she wanted it she could easily have his job. Besides, that they were more than just colleagues, he hoped that after so long working together they were also friends. And he was worried. Holly was incredibly stubborn, and driven by work even if she was willing to sacrifice her own safety for it.

“I’m dating a cop. Isn’t that enough?” Holly hadn’t wanted to bring up her relationship to Gail because of Elaine. She still didn’t know how Elaine really felt about their relationship and she didn’t want to flaunt it.

“Gail has been spoken too, she’s being given special clearance to bring her service weapon home with her after her shift. But, as you say, she’s your girlfriend. When she comes to your home she’s off duty. There needs to be someone that can retain that sense of vigilance.” Elaine explained calmly. Holly looked away, swallowing her anger knowing that it wouldn’t do any good.

“Fine.”

“If I could, I’d like to speak alone with Dr. Stewart.”

Holly watched Charles leave and then sat down on the chair opposite of Elaine. For several long moments the two women were locked in a silent stand-off. So much that both of them wanted to say.

“I wish that our meeting had happened under better circumstances.” Elaine finally broke the silence.

“Me too.”

“I’m sorry this is happening.” Holly stared at this woman that most people had warned her was about as warm and caring as an arctic winter. But now Elaine seemed genuinely concerned.

“Me too.”

“Look, I had promised myself that I would keep this professional but knowing my daughter I don’t know when you and I will actually see each other again I just have to say, I know that Gail and I have a tumultuous past, and that is putting it lightly. I’ve done a lot of things I’m not proud of but I love my daughter and she loves you. I’ve never seen her like this before in fact. And I just want you to know that my husband and I support your relationship.” It seemed like Elaine struggled with her confession. Holly guessed that it was because Elaine was not used to making such gestures.

“Thank you.”

“Well, I’ll let you get back to work.”

“Who is taking the first shift watching over me?” Holly asked as Elaine was about to leave.

“Officer Shaw has volunteered.”

Holly was mildly relieved that it was Oliver, she and Oliver had gotten closer since they’d first talked about Gail. And Holly knew how much Oliver meant to Gail.

The rest of the day passed by uneventfully, Holly practically hid in her office working on paperwork and trying to keep her mind off of the cluster fuck that her life had become. She was still so angry at Gail for what she’d done, and she felt betrayed and the betrayal was sickening. Even as she tried to reason with herself, explain to herself logically that she knew that Gail wasn’t always the best when it came to handling things about relationships. Gail handled a situation wrong but she shouldn’t be punished forever for it. But every time Holly was sure that she should just forgive Gail, that right now she could shelf her anger because she needed her girlfriend, she remembered the way the invasion of privacy felt. Remembered how horrified she was that Gail had contacted other people trying to find information about her past.

“Boss?” Holly looked up, shaken out of her thoughts by Zach hovering just inside her door. He’d knocked but she had been so lost in thought that she hadn’t heard him.

“Hey Zach, what’s up?” Holly asked forcing a smile.

“Is everything okay? You’ve been off today.”

“I don’t even know how to answer that question.” Holly said with a humorless chuckle looking up at Zach and seeing his face fall.

“Wanna talk about it?”

“Not really.”

“I’m here if you change your mind. But you should go home it’s after six.” Holly looked at the clock on her computer and saw that it was indeed already after six. She was supposed to be home an hour ago.

“Thanks Zach.”

“Also, Officer Shaw is in the lobby waiting for you.”

Holly stood and collected her things before she followed Zach out of her office and locked the door behind her. Oliver greeted Holly with his usual smile and Holly couldn’t help but return it.

“Hey Doc, you ready to get out of here?”

“Yup. I’ll see you tomorrow Zach.”

“Tomorrow is your day off.” Zach reminded her.

“Still, I’ll likely see you tomorrow.”

Thankfully, Oliver didn’t press conversation as they walked out to the parking lot. He’d parked his squad car right next to her car. But she could tell that he knew what was going on between her and Gail, not only was he pretty good at his job but Gail confided in Oliver. She felt comfortable telling him things that she would never tell anyone else. There was no way that he didn’t know about the fight.

“So I’ll follow you home then?”

“Sure.”

“Gail said she’d head over when she was off shift. Should be any minute now did you want to swing by 15 and pick her up?” Oliver asked, testing the waters to see how mad Holly still was.

“You can if you want. I’m going home.” Holly answered quickly. Oliver had to fight to conceal a wince at the harshness of her tone. He knew that she was still mad, but he had hoped that she might have calmed down a little bit.

“Look Doc, I know that Gail screwed up but-.”

“Oliver, I know what you’re trying to say but I’m going to ask you to not.” Holly requested.

“Yeah okay.” He said awkwardly.

“And you aren’t staying in your car tonight. I have a very comfy guest room.” Holly insisted.

“Thanks Doc.” They both knew that Oliver had no intention of leaving his car that night.

“Sure.”

It wasn’t until she was halfway home that she realized that she had offered Oliver the guest room, the one that she had banished Gail to during their fight. Which meant that Gail would either have to sleep on the couch or Holly would have to invite her back to their bed. It pleased Holly that the thought of telling Gail not to come over had never crossed her mind. It gave her hope.

Gail beat them to Holly’s, she was waiting outside for Holly to come and unlock the door. Despite the fact that Gail spent most of her time at Holly’s she still hadn’t given Gail a key. She might have considered it if this fight hadn’t happened. It was the first time that day that Holly laid eyes on Gail and Holly had to admit that Gail didn’t look that great. She looked like she’d barely slept.

“Hey.” Gail greeted cautiously. Testing Holly’s mood and her anger level with a simple greeting.

“Hey.” It took a minute for Holly to realize that Oliver hadn’t followed up to the door. He was still in the squad car parked on the street trying desperately not to look their direction. He was trying to give them privacy.

“Uh…I didn’t know if you wanted me to come over tonight. But, well I…I wanted to see you and I know that you met with my mom today and I’m really sorry that happened. She said she was insisting on protection detail for you and I didn’t want to leave you alone. You can send me away if you want, I don’t want you to do that I want to stay here with you but I understand if you’re still mad.” Gail rambled, though normally that was Holly’s thing.

“It’s fine Gail.” Holly replied unlocking the door and walking in.

“You told me to have a good day.” Gail blurted out, it stopped Holly in her tracks, because it seemed so random and Gail hadn’t even meant to bring it up but it had been burning on her mind all day.

“That’s what people do Gail.” Holly said continuing into the town home, turning on lights before she turned to face Gail.

“That’s not what we do.”

“Maybe I’m trying something new.”

“You’re pissed. I get it Holly. I fucked up and I don’t know how to fix what I’ve done. Please tell me how to fix this because it’s killing me. I hurt you, and I betrayed your trust, I know that and I am so goddamn sorry for that. I messed up. And I can’t even blame it on being emotionally retarded. But I am begging you tell me how to fix this. Please.” Gail begged, if she thought it’d help she would be on her knees. She couldn’t stand having Holly mad at her, having Holly withdraw from her as completely as she had. It was such a heartfelt plea that Holly really wanted to give in. She needed Gail too, she wanted Gail to be there to help keep her from falling apart.

“It’s not something that can be fixed Gail. It happened and we can’t pretend that it didn’t.”

“I know.”

“My past is, it’s mine to decide when I tell you about it. If you wanted to know you should have asked me, if Luke wanted to know he should have asked me instead of using you as his instrument. But you should have known that if you wanted answers you should have come to me and I would have given them too you. I wasn’t trying to keep it from you. You didn’t even give me a chance.” Holly said wanting Gail to understand exactly why she was mad.

“Thomas told me that it was painful for you and I didn’t want to bring it all back up for you.”

“Painful sure, there is a lot that had happened in my past that I don’t want to remember. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to break at the mention of it. My first girlfriend cheated on me, yeah it sucked. It really sucked and it messed me up for a really long time. I was an awkward kid in school because I was always the youngest and people didn’t know what to do with me. The part of this that bothers me most Gail, that hurts the most, is that I would have told you. Anything. All you had to do was ask.”

“Holly…”

“Don’t apologize again Gail. I know you’re sorry. And I wish that it made it better.”

“I’ll make this right Holly. I promise. I’ll do whatever it takes.”

“Go tell Oliver to come inside. I’m ordering pizza.” Holly said picking up her phone and dialing the number to their favorite pizza place while Gail did as she was asked. For the most part the evening passed without any more drama. Once Oliver came in it gave the two of them something else to focus on. It didn’t stop Gail from looking at Holly whenever she thought no one was paying attention.

“I think I’m going to go up to bed. Gail can you show Oliver where everything is?” Holly asked standing and stretching her limbs. Gail nodded mutely and watched as Holly ascended the stairs. Oliver watched Gail watching Holly and then nudged the young woman encouragingly.

“Go on. I’ll stay down here. Better vantage point for keeping an eye out. Go up there and make things right with your girl.” Oliver pushed. He knew that Gail was struggling with what to do and he took his role as mentor very seriously.

Gail knocked on the door to Holly’s bedroom and waited anxiously for Holly to open the door. Wondering if Holly would allow her to come in. After several long minutes of waiting, anticipating, dreading, Gail heard the door handle twist and the door open. Holly had just finished changing into her pajamas. Letting her hand slip from the handle Holly turned back into the room allowing Gail to follow her.

“I’m still mad.” Holly said crawling onto the bed. Gail nodded mutely, she didn’t know what to say to that. Holly reached for something set beside her and when she straightened she tossed the folded fabric at Gail. It took a second but Gail realized that Holly had tossed her pajamas to her. A silent invitation back into their bed that Gail was not going to refuse. Changing quicker than she could ever remember changing before Gail crawled onto her side of the bed and laid down. In the darkness of the room she could see Holly was turned away from her, but it wasn’t solely because Holly was trying to put distance between them, though that may have been it. But Holly always slept on her side.

“I love you.” Gail whispered into the darkness.

“I love you too Gail.” Holly murmured before nestling into her pillow and falling asleep.

<> 

Holly woke up the next morning, feeling Gail’s presence behind her, the weight of Gail’s arm over her waist and in those sweet precious moments it was so easy to forget the cluster fuck that had happened around them. To settle into the warmth of Gail’s embrace and just forget. Especially when she felt Gail stir, Gail loved sleep but since they had started sharing a bed more frequently Gail usually woken just after Holly. Something about being attuned to Holly’s body, sensing the shift in her.

“Hey.” Gail murmured against the back of Holly’s neck, her breath tickling the skin there.

“Hey.” Holly replied turning onto her back and taking in the sight of half-asleep Gail.

“You’re still mad.” Gail could tell by the ghost of sadness that came across Holly’s face.

“I’m not.” Holly answered honestly, feeling Gail nuzzle against her. It was such a welcome sensation, a feeling that she’d missed even in the few days that she had been without it.

“I still hurt you.” Gail continued. Opening up was still new to her, but for Holly she’d try.

“That’s the harsh reality of relationships Gail. We’re going to hurt each other, and then we forgive each other. The forgiving part is the hard part.”

“Tell me how to make this better. I can’t stand that I hurt you.”

“You’re doing it. I missed you.” Holly said hugging Gail to her.

<> 

Holly arrived at the lab a little after 10, it wasn’t her scheduled work day so she wasn’t expected at any given time. After a brief greeting to the techs that were busy working she made her way to her office. There were reports already resting in her in bin that she needed to go over. If she left them the pile would double in size. Before she knew it the morning was gone and she’d worked past lunch, not that she’d ever been a strict observer of the meal time.

“Hey, Hol got a sec?” Victoria asked ducking her head into the office. Holly looked up, welcoming the reprieve from reading.

“Sure what’s up?

“Can I see your kit?” Victoria asked stepping inside.

“My kit? Why?” Holly asked already picking up her key ring and searching for the right key and opening her bottom desk drawer.

“I have a theory and I wanted to test it.” Victoria said producing her own kit and setting it on Holly’s desk. Holly looked at the plastic case that Victoria kept her instruments in. The other woman opened the case to show Holly while Holly placed hers on the desk encased in leather. When she opened her kit the two women looked down at them and found that they were similar but not identical.

“Want to explain to me your theory?” Holly asked.

“Every ME has a different kit based on their preference. I mean look, I have a 10 blade and you have a 12. I have plastic instruments and yours are all metal. Different instruments leave different trails. If this guy is an ME maybe his kit is unique too.”

“Doesn’t help a narrow it down though, it took me months of trial and error to figure out which ones I liked to use. And then I had to buy them and put my kit together. The killer could have done the same thing and not bought it all at the same time.” Holly argued.

“It’s a start though, for when we find the bastard. We just need to figure out which instruments we used. I think the lab has a collection of instruments that we can use in comparison.” Victoria said.

“We’re going to be here until midnight testing this theory of yours.” Holly commented already standing up to follow Victoria.

“I know, but it’ll be fun. I’ve already got the pig carcasses in the lab.”

By the fourth or fifth test Holly and Victoria had accumulated quite an audience as they cut into slabs, each of them performing autopsies. It became a sort of competition, who could do it better, who could do it faster. When Gail arrived to check on Holly she saw the small group gathered and joined them curious to see what was happening. She stood like the rest of them transfixed by what she was seeing. But unlike everyone else who was watching the skill being displayed by these two doctors Gail was watching Holly’s grace. How gracefully she moved, how she was able to make even something as morbid as performing an autopsy look like a beautiful dance. It wasn’t even on a human and yet Holly possessed a gentleness that Gail couldn’t fathom.

“Why are you doing this?” Gail asked when Holly stopped washing her hands.

“Reference material. We’re trying to match which what instruments the killer is using for these autopsies.” Holly answered.

“Will it work?”

“It’ll help to convict this guy when you find him. Any luck on that?”

“Not yet. We’re looking into every lead that we have. No luck yet.” Gail said feeling as if she were failing Holly in some way for not having better news.

“You will. So who’s on guard duty tonight?”

“McNally.”

“I bet you love that.” Holly said with a small smile.

“She will be staying in her car tonight. I don’t care how nice you are, I’m overruling.”

“Okay. Come on lets go home.”


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

Holly stared down at the results in front of her wondering how it was possible, the evidence was undeniable but Holly couldn’t wrap her mind around it. She had been waiting for the results of the comparison test that they were running to see if they could get a match on which instruments the killer might be using. It was a long shot, but they had nothing else they could do. There was no other evidence to run and no chance of catching this killer unless they were willing to try everything. She never expected there to be a match. And not just a match on one of the instruments but all of them. Someone was using a medical examiner kit that was identical to her own.

“How is this possible?” Holly asked looking up from the results at Victoria who was just as baffled as she was.

“Where is your kit?” Victoria asked.

“I keep it locked up in my office when I’m not using it.” Holly said pulling out her key ring and showing Victoria the key.

“Is it still there?”

“I think so.”

“Go check.”

Holly walked quickly towards her office, though she tried to keep her pace controlled so not to alarm anyone that she walked past. She thought back to when she had last used her kit, then had it cleaned and then it was returned to her. She remembered putting it in the drawer to her office and locking it. She had the only key, it was protocol, and no one else was allowed a key to her desk except for Charles.

Kneeling down in front of her desk drawer Holly slid the key into the lock and turned it, hearing it click and pop open. Looking inside the drawer that housed nothing else but her kit, kept in a metal case that held each instrument in its place. What greeted her site was what she expected to find. Her kit was right where she put it. But there was something different about it, it took a moment for Holly to figure out what it was exactly until she saw just the edge of a yellow post-it note sticking out from underneath the kit. From the same stack of post-it notes she had on her desk.

_Very good Holly._

The words scribbled made Holly want to throw up. The killer had been in her office, an office that only two people had access to at any given time. This was her space, and the killer had invaded it. Come into a secure building that they had checked and double checked the security over and over. The lab was harder to get into now than it ever had before. How was it possible?

Pulling her phone from her back pocket Holly dialed Victoria’s number and listened as it rang.

“He was in my office.” Holly spat as soon as the line picked up. There was a curse heard through the line and then Victoria told her not to touch anything. Holly wanted to point out that she knew what to do at a crime scene but she still couldn’t quite think of her office as such a thing.

Within ten minutes her office was swarming with lab techs, each one of them inspecting every inch of the room for finger prints and any trace bit of evidence they might be able to find. Victoria stood beside Holly watching as the office was turned over, Charles stood on the other side his concern more for Holly.

“Who has been in here with you over the last week so that we can start eliminating finger prints? I need you to be as specific as possible.” Charles said. He didn’t want to think that anyone from the lab might be the one responsible but there was no one else that could have entered without someone noticing.

“Gail, and some of the officers from 15-“

“Which ones?”

“Officers Diaz, Epstein, Price, Shaw, and McNally. Detectives Nash and Callahan. Um, my assistant Zach and then you two. No one else.” Holly said.

“You’re sure?”

“Yeah. Unless they were here when I wasn’t.”

“Okay. I have to call Staff Sargent Best.” Charles said excusing himself.

“This bastard was in my office Victoria.” Holly said looking at her coworker. The taller woman looked over at Holly, there was no mistaking the sympathy that Victoria felt. But that wasn’t what she wanted right now, Holly wanted this person found.

“We’ll find out who is doing this Holly.” Holly scoffed, she hated hearing that phrase. She’d been hearing so much of it lately.

“Why me?” Holly asked knowing that Victoria didn’t know the answer. But she needed to know why this person seemed Hell bent on bringing Holly into his fantasy. Her head was spinning and she really wished that she at least knew that much. Did she know who this person was? How could anyone that she knew do something as atrocious as this?

“Holly, it’s going to be okay.”

“You don’t know that.”

“You need to believe it otherwise this bastard is going to win.” Victoria said.

“I need some air. I’ll be on the roof.”

“You shouldn’t go alone.” Victoria cautioned. Holly looked up in time to see Oliver walking through the door.

“I have my shadow.”

Holly took the stairs, she needed to work off some of the tension that filled her body. It felt like a coil winding tighter and tighter throughout her entire body and she didn’t know how to relieve it. She wanted to scream, she wanted to demand answers but she didn’t even know how to ask answers from. Oliver followed her dutifully and silently. He could tell just by looking at her that Holly didn’t need words right now, he didn’t want idle conversation she wanted answers and he didn’t have any to give to her. They would tear apart her office but he doubted that they would find anything. The killer had been too good so far to leave any evidence behind.

The fresh air felt nice as Holly drew deep breaths in and out, it didn’t help her calm down any but at least she didn’t feel like she was suffocating. Looking at the Toronto skyline Holly wondered where the killer was. Which of the buildings before her was offering shelter to this monster that was slowly destroying her sanity.

“What do you tell victims to make them feel better Oliver?” Holly asked her tone even, and startling calm.

“You aren’t a victim darlin’.” Oliver said coming to stand behind Holly.

“Then why do I feel like one? He was in my office. He got into a building that is supposed to be secure. I’m supposed to feel safe here so tell me how am I not supposed to feel like a victim when he came into my office and wrote me a note and left it in a locked drawer?” Holly demanded, her voice shaking but she wasn’t sure if it was with rage or if it was from pain.

Oliver looked at the woman before her and saw how Holly was trying to keep herself strong. She was trying not to let the tears fall from her eyes but in fighting it her entire body had started to shake.

“Everyone keeps telling me we’re going to find him. We’re going to stop him from hurting anyone else and yet we can’t. There is no evidence, there is nothing that is helping us narrow down who might be doing this. So he’s going to keep killing and he’s going to keep gloating about it until I lose my mind.” Holly heard the door to the roof open and found that Gail was standing there looking at her, worry etched all over her face.

“Stay strong.” Was his parting advice before he retreated and let Gail and Holly have their privacy. Gail watched as Holly turned her back and looked back at the skyline. Her heart broke at the sight, she knew that Holly felt responsible and victimized and Gail didn’t know how to make Holly not feel that way. Coming up behind Holly all Gail did was wrap her arms around Holly’s waist and rest her chin on Holly’s shoulder inhaling her girlfriends scent.

“What can I do?” Gail asked finally. Holly took a deep breath and shrugged, if only she knew what could be done to make this feeling go away. How she could think about going back downstairs and getting back to work.

“Would you think any less of me if I wanted to pick up and run?” Holly asked. Gail thought about the question, wondering how serious Holly was about her question.

“I wouldn’t think any less of you. If it meant keeping you safe I would take you to the airport right now.” Gail answered.

“Then he kills again, brutally like he did before. Or he follows me. What do I do Gail?”

“We don’t let him win.”

“Don’t say not to worry because we’re going to find him. I’m so sick of hearing that.”

“I’m not.”

“I’m scared Gail.” Gail’s arms tightened around Holly, kissing her shoulder before she turned Holly to face her.

“I am not going to let anything happen to you.”

“I know.”

< >

Holly waited for her entire home to be checked, she watched as officers looked in every room and looked herself to see if anything was out of place. It looked the same as it had when she had left that morning. Gail stood beside her, still in her uniform with gun belt on. She hadn’t liked the idea of Gail bringing her gun home with them but when Gail had come with a small safe to keep the gun secure Holly had relented. Gail had shown her how to open it and made Holly try it several time until she could wake up and open the safe, draw the gun and aim in under a minute.

Once the town home was secure the cops filed out except for one of the officers that would now be staying in the apartment as well as another outside. Holly wanted to be stubborn and tell them that she didn’t need it. But at the same time it made her feel safe knowing that they were there. In this case, Traci was sitting on the couch making no indication that she was going anywhere and outside sitting in an unmarked car Steve. The two seemed to have been able to work through some of their issues to the point where Traci didn’t want to strike him whenever she saw him.

“I’m going to take a shower.” Holly said once the three women were alone. Gail watched Holly disappear upstairs and then sat next to Traci.

“I don’t know what to do Traci.” Gail confessed looking at her friend. Traci placed her hand on Gail’s leg comfortingly, she didn’t know what to tell Gail either.

“We’re going to focus on keeping Holly safe right now. Everyone is looking for this guy and we’re going to find him. Do you have any idea who might be doing this?”

“No idea. I’ve thought about everyone that I have interviewed when Luke had me looking into Holly’s past. And everyone seems to have fond memories of her. Even her ex-girlfriend that cheated on her.”

“What about the boyfriend? Do you think he might have some latent jealousy?”

“Enough to do this to her? I didn’t talk to him, but it seems like if he got the girl in the end then why would he want to do this to Holly?” Gail asked.

“Who knows why people do things. I think we should look into him at the very least.” Traci suggested. Gail nodded, she had always been a good judge of character and was good at the “spot the criminal” game. It was something that her mother had made her and Steve practice when they were kids. They had to watch films of closed cases and they would have to point out who they thought the criminal was. Gail had been really good at it.

“Okay.”

“Are you okay?”

“What do you mean?”

“This is Holly, I know how you are around her. You’re trying to be strong for her so that she can lean on you but I know that even the great Gail Peck still feels. If you want to talk, I’m here.” Traci promised.

“Thanks Trace. But I think I’ll only be okay when we catch this son of a bitch.”

 

So...thoughts?


End file.
